By: Tamar Asayan
Everyone has experienced rejection whether it was not getting the job you wanted, your friends not inviting you somewhere and posting about it online, or even having someone not like you back. Rejection is the loss of something you may have once had or wanted. It is similar to abandonment because it leaves you feeling less than and unwanted. Unfortunately, rejection is something that cannot be avoided and it is a part of life that everyone will have to experience. No matter how small or big the rejection you experience is, it is always going to hurt you and leave an emotional wound. Not only does rejection cause emotional pain, but it also damages someone’s self-esteem and effects one’s mood resulting in frustration and anger. An article, “Why Rejection Hurts So Much-and What to do About it” states, “The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal pain” (Winch). If you are feeling the pain of being rejected here are some ways to cope and overcome it in healthier ways.
- Acknowledge the pain and grief of loss
- When you are rejected, you may feel embarrassed and don’t know how to exactly cope with it. You may repress your feelings and ignore the fact that you are in pain.
- In order to accept rejection, you must accept the pain of what you are going through. Whether it is crying, going to therapy, exercising, or even journaling, it is important to relieve and express the emotions faced when being rejected.
- Don’t blame yourself
- Most of the time you don’t understand why you have been rejected and naturally you place the blame on yourself.
- The reason you believe you are at fault is because early in life you may have been taught to believe that you are not enough.
- Do not take responsibility for what is out of your control.
- Put yourself out there
- Rejection is part of the process which leads to success. Do not take it personally, it’s part of life.
- Putting yourself out there can make you less sensitive to rejection; the more you are rejected the less it hurt us.
- Build your resiliency
- To be resilient is to be able to recover or come back from a stressful or traumatizing event.
- Resiliency can be learned by doing some of the following:
- Having an open mind
- Seeking solutions
- Learning from an experience
- Seeking support
- Knowing your worth and strengths
If you or someone you know is feeling rejected or dealing with rejection, call now to make an appointment to speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ (201) 368-3700 or Manhattan, NY offices at or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.