Fear of Abandonment in Relationships
By: Julia Rzadkowska
Do you ever sit and fear that those who you love will suddenly leave you? That your friends, family, or partner, will turn on you and suddenly reject you, pushing you out of their lives? You may be happy in the relationship, having the best time of your life, and then, all of a sudden, you are overcome with anxiety that you will be left alone, leaving you insecure. This is known as the fear of abandonment. It often stems from childhood loss. This can be the death of a parent, divorce, a traumatic event, or not receiving enough physical or emotional care as a child. Such events can lead to a fear of abandonment later in life. However, relationships in adulthood can also bring this fear into future relationships.
Slight fear of abandonment can be normal, however, when it becomes very severe and frequent it can tremendously impact someone’s life negatively. As people do not know how to cope with this fear, it can lead to the fear becoming a reality. Fear of abandonment can cause people to attach too quickly, even to unavailable partners, or fail to commit fully, pushing them to move on quickly in order to not get too attached. Additional qualities of someone who has this fear include the tendency to overthink and work to find hidden meanings in the words or actions of their partner. Jealousy is also a strong feeling and the feeling of insecurity and unworthiness to be loved. The person also frequently self-blames and has feelings of anxiety or depression.
If the partner realizes this fear, just words of reassurance are not usually enough to combat the fear. Some coping strategies include getting educated on the topic in order to gain knowledge about your tendencies and learn new behavioral strategies. Therapy is a good option for those who are struggling with a fear of abandonment.
If you or someone you know is struggling with a fear of abandonment, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com