Pre-marital Issues

Marriage During Covid-19

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    By: Sarah Cohen

    During Coronavirus, a lot of extra strain and anxiety have been placed on marriages. While research has shown that disasters uncover strengths in relationships it can also reveal issues. Even in the best relationships, we still always need a little bit of space from each other. 

    Since Coronavirus has begun, applications for divorce have risen greatly in the Chinese city of Xi’an. While divorce rates do increase during times of stress, this is unprecedented. There aren’t just changes in routine and close contact without breaks, there are many other factors influencing marital stress during these times. An increased amount of new anxiety about health and keeping safe from Covid-19, unemployment and therefore financial insecurity, caring for elderly relatives with reduced strength immune systems, lacking social connection outside of the spouse, dealing with childcare and school issues, or simply managing chores and uncertainty about what will be in the future are just a few of the issues that could be causing marital stress. In addition, couples may be using different coping mechanisms during stressful times which clash with the other spouse. One might be active and attempt to be cheerful while the other might be hopeless and passive.

    There are many ways to fight against this marital strain, here are a couple ways to combat it. By picking your battles you can limit the amount of arguments and issues you create in the home. Even further, you can put a time limit on your arguments in order for them not to affect every moment of the day, when the time limit is up you can put it all behind you. Create some alone time, when you make boundaries stick to them. Another way to get some alone time and be active is to exercise, even just by taking a walk. Speaking to other people over the phone or video chat so your spouse isn’t the only person you talk to is another good way to make sure you can have a little break. Lastly, focus on survival during these difficult times not creating issues and rifts between you and your partner.

    If you or someone you know needs support with their marriage, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-discomfort-zone/202004/will-coronavirus-infect-your-marriage

    https://time.com/5811146/coronavirus-married-relationship/

    Narcissism

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    Narcissism 

    Narcissism

    By: Julia Keys

    It is common in today’s world to call someone who is very clean “OCD”, or someone who is very active “ADHD”, or someone who is overly confident a “narcissist”.  What many people do not know is that narcissism is not an adjective to describe someone’s personality, but a real psychiatric diagnosis. The DSM IV identifies narcissism as a personality disorder. Personality disorders are characterized by a set of rigid traits, thoughts, and behaviors that are unhealthy and inflexible. Narcissistic personality disorder or (NPD) is characterized by an overinflated sense of self, preoccupation with personal success, and apathy for other’s emotions.

    Signs of narcissistic personality disorder:

    • Grandiose sense of self-importance
    • Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty.
    • Belief that one is unusually special or unique
    • Need for excessive admiration
    • Strong sense of entitlement
    • Exploitative of others
    • Lacks empathy
    • Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them
    • Frequent display of arrogant or haughty behavior

    Although people with NPD display an arrogant and larger-than-life picture to the outside world, they can also suffer from low self-esteem internally. The constant need for approval and obsession with success can be stressful because in reality, one will never gain approval from everyone and one will never achieve everything they want.  Trouble with interpersonal relationships often results from the exploitative and apathetic behaviors that people with NPD believe will help them achieve their goals.

    People with NPD can look like the perfect partner upon first meeting. They are often charismatic and appear to be very put together. However, being in a relationship with a person with NPD can be complicated and stressful. People with NPD lie frequently to get what they want, which can cause a breach of trust in a serious relationship. People with NPD rarely apologize because they lack the empathy to understand the point of view of their partners. Additionally, people with NPD think that they are perfect and will dismiss others who have opinions contrary to theirs. Although people with NPD can be extremely difficult to live with, they can still be a loved one that you care about.

    If you or someone you love has narcissistic personality disorder and is struggling with the symptoms, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ 

    Sources:

    https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder/

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-games/201905/five-narcissistic-traits-harm-intimate-partner

    Source for Picture:

    https://www.google.com/search?biw=1391&bih=654&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=UenvXLaCJeWJggeP6ZHYAw&q=narcissus+myth&oq=narcissus+&gs_l=img.1.1.0j0i67l3j0j0i67l2j0j0i67l2.620.620..2327…0.0..0.69.69.1……0….1..gws-wiz-img.eaqpLt3PV-c#imgrc=fUnycKFz1Mb7jM:&spf=1559226710308

    Couples Counseling: The Benefits

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    By Stephanie Osuba

    According to PsychCentral.com, there are many reasons why people chose to participate in couples therapy, as well as many reasons they don’t. The common reason couples usually don’t consider counseling is out of embarrassment or the stigma that surrounds the intimate details of one’s personal relationship. The stigma dictates that only people who are in a very broken state in their relationship can benefit from couples counseling. However, no relationship is perfect and sometimes even the most socially competent of us need the help of a professional. Psychologists can help couples identify key problems in the relationship in a structured way that acknowledges the feelings of both parties. Although it’s never easy to reopen past wounds, it is the only way to push through to a place of understanding with a partner. Sessions can also determine whether the relationship needs some fine-tuning, a complete rebuilding, or a separation of ways.

    Here are some benefits of couples counseling:

    • Improved communication skills
    • Increase in emotional and physical connection
    • Life plan development
    • Resolving conflicts in a structured way
    • Building a healthy relationship ­– ultimately leading to individual growth as well

    Common issues couples hope to resolve in therapy: infidelity, poor communication, financial issues, parenting or co-parenting, work and career, emotional and physical intimacy, separation or divorce, abuse, grief and loss, and life transitions.

    If you or someone you know appears to be having marital problems, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

    Communication Differences Between Genders

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

     

    By: Dianna Gomez

    Where would the world be without communication? Whether it be conscious or unconscious, we communicate in one way or another with those around us every minute of every day. We communicate in the work place, in relationships, with our friends and family – sometimes even when passing by strangers walking down the street. You would think that with the amount of communicating we do as a human species on a daily basis, we would have it all down to a “ T ” by now but that is far from the truth. Every once in a while we experience miscommunication and other frustrations related to interacting with the people around us. In order to improve the quality of communication in one’s own life, it is important to begin by understanding the different methods of communication between each gender. There are so many fundamental differences regarding the way in which men and women behave and think when it comes to communication. On average, women tend to speak more than men and when each gender is communicating, they do so for different reasons and from different perspectives.

    Here is a list of these differences:

    1. Reasons For Talking
    • Men believe that communication should always have a clear purpose. Whether there is a problem in need of a solution or a specific question needing an answer, men use communication to get to the bottom of any topic of conversation in the most efficient way possible. On the other hand, a woman views communication as a way to discover how she may feel about something. Women like to lay all the potential pros and cons out on the table and discuss each more thoroughly. When it comes to relationships, communication is a way in which women increase intimacy with their significant others. They share their thoughts to rid themselves of any negative feelings they may be having.

    2. How Much Should Be Said

    • Similarly to the first point, men always put productivity and efficiency at the very top of their lists. When telling a story, men only share the details that are absolutely necessary to get to the point. Women tend to share as much detail as possible, even if it isn’t necessarily needed. This is often times why men may interrupt women half way through an explanation when they have already received the point that is ultimately trying to be made.

    3. What Does It Mean To “Listen?”

    • When a woman first initiates a conversation with a man, she assumes they are doing so to obtain some type of advice or assistance. They automatically think to themselves “what can we actually do about this?” From the woman’s perspective, having the conversation all on it’s own is a way of finding a solution to any problem. Women just want to feel like they are being heard and understood, and if they feel this is happening any problem will already feel partially solved.

    Communication is so important in every aspect of our lives. Especially when it comes to having relationships with significant others, if these fundamental differences aren’t already understood, there will be many disagreements and arguments about things that there wouldn’t be otherwise. Regardless of what gender you are, the next time you find yourself feeling frustrated when communicating with the opposite sex, take a step back and try to see the situation from their point of view. If this is done over a long enough period of time, you will find that life will soon go a lot smoother in all areas of your life.

     

    If you or anybody you know may be having trouble with communication or may be having relationship problems they can’t seem to resolve, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit us at http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.