Learning How to Face Rejection

rejection

By: Tamar Asayan

Everyone has experienced rejection whether it was not getting the job you wanted, your friends not inviting you somewhere and posting about it online, or even having someone not like you back. Rejection is the loss of something you may have once had or wanted. It is similar to abandonment because it leaves you feeling less than and unwanted. Unfortunately, rejection is something that cannot be avoided and it is a part of life that everyone will have to experience. No matter how small or big the rejection you experience is, it is always going to hurt you and leave an emotional wound. Not only does rejection cause emotional pain, but it also damages someone’s self-esteem and effects one’s mood resulting in frustration and anger. An article, “Why Rejection Hurts So Much-and What to do About it” states, “The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal pain” (Winch). If you are feeling the pain of being rejected here are some ways to cope and overcome it in healthier ways.

  1. Acknowledge the pain and grief of loss
  • When you are rejected, you may feel embarrassed and don’t know how to exactly cope with it. You may repress your feelings and ignore the fact that you are in pain.
  • In order to accept rejection, you must accept the pain of what you are going through. Whether it is crying, going to therapy, exercising, or even journaling, it is important to relieve and express the emotions faced when being rejected.
  1. Don’t blame yourself
  • Most of the time you don’t understand why you have been rejected and naturally you place the blame on yourself.
  • The reason you believe you are at fault is because early in life you may have been taught to believe that you are not enough.
  • Do not take responsibility for what is out of your control.
  1. Put yourself out there
  • Rejection is part of the process which leads to success. Do not take it personally, it’s part of life.
  • Putting yourself out there can make you less sensitive to rejection; the more you are rejected the less it hurt us.
  1. Build your resiliency
  • To be resilient is to be able to recover or come back from a stressful or traumatizing event.
  • Resiliency can be learned by doing some of the following:
    • Having an open mind
    • Seeking solutions
    • Learning from an experience
    • Seeking support
    • Knowing your worth and strengths
    • Self-care

If you or someone you know is feeling rejected or dealing with rejection, call now to make an appointment to speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ (201) 368-3700 or Manhattan, NY offices at or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources: https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-overcome-rejection-like-a-champ/

https://ideas.ted.com/why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-what-to-do-about-it/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2019/02/4-strategies-to-cope-with-the-pain-of rejection/

Image: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1327598/Why-rejection-good-you.html

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Anxiety: Test Taking

Anxiety: Test Taking

By Toniann Seals

Many students are exceptional in class, but find themselves below average on tests (both in class and standardized). How can the student who is continuously participating, going to extra tutoring sessions and always asking questions failing tests? There is a chance they are suffering from test taking anxiety.

Symptoms of test anxiety

While testing:

  • Shaking
  • Nausea
  • Forgetfulness
  • Hot flashes

Effects of test anxiety

  • Feelings of not being good enough
  • Feeling as though you are a failure
  • Negative thoughts
  • Lack of self esteem

Overcoming test anxiety is something that can be handled with a professional, however there are ways you can help yourself in the meantime.

Coping mechanisms

  • Begin studying early so you feel more confident and less anxious
  • Have open communication with your teacher so they understand what you are going through
  • Get enough sleep the night before
  • Meditation can help anxiety
  • Create affirmations and positive thoughts where you picture yourself doing well

If you or someone you know is dealing with anxiety speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Source:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/generalized-anxiety-disorder/expert-answers/test-anxiety/faq-20058195

(Image) https://www.psycom.net/test-anxiety-quiz-assessment/

Emotional Support Animals: A Helping Paw for College Students

Emotional Support Animals: A Helping Paw for College Students

By: Liz Lynch

            Colleges have recognized that animals have an innate ability to reduce stress; this is why they organize campus events such as petting zoos and therapy dog visits around midterm and finals times. However, college students have taken a particular interest in Emotional Support Animals in recent years to help combat mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Unlike Service Dogs, Emotional Support Animals do not have specific training; this is a very important distinction as Service Dogs have life saving jobs that they are trained and licensed to do.  Emotional Support Animals on the other hand could be considered a pet with a project; but don’t let the cute name fool you though, their project is very important to the student’s mental health as they provide companionship and comfort 24/7.   

           Students who are interested in having an Emotional Support Animal with them at college must go through a short process before the animal is permitted on campus. They must receive a letter of recommendation from their licensed therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist explaining the circumstances that require them to have an ESA. The letter, vaccination forms, and a contract of responsibility must be signed and approved by the school before the arrival of the animal. Once the animal is approved and moved in their project begins!

ESA Benefits:

  • Reduce feelings of stress and anxiety
  • Lowers feelings of loneliness/ isolation
  • Offers a feeling of security and familiarity
  • Provides mental and psychical stimulation
  • Creates a feeling of responsibility and purpose

           If you or a loved one appears to be suffering from a mental illness, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Picture: https://iptc.org/

PTSD: Trauma

PTSD: Trauma

By: Elizabeth Lynch

                   Every day you unknowingly pass by, interact with, or speak to someone who is suffering from PTSD. In the US alone 70% of adults experience some kind of trauma throughout their life; 20% of them will develop PTSD from the events they faced. While PTSD is known to develop more frequently in women than in men this mental illness does not discriminate across gender, race, sexual orientation, social status, or age. This is what many people don’t realize about PTSD. It doesn’t just affect those who go off to war. It can affect anyone who experienced a major trauma.

Experiencing the following could lead to the development of PTSD:

  1.        Sexual Assault or Rape
  2.        Severe beating or physical assault
  3.        Serious accident or injury (car or train accident)
  4.        Being a victim of or witnessing a shooting or stabbing
  5.        Sudden, unexpected death of a family member or friend
  6.        Child’s life-threatening illness which can affect both child and parents
  7.        Witness to murder or serious injury
  8.        Natural disasters

Look for the signs:

       Behavioral

  • Irritability
  • Social Isolation
  • Self-Destructive Behavior
  • Hyper-vigilance
  • Easily Startled

       Psychological

  • Flashbacks
  • Mistrust
  • Avoidance of places, people, or things that serve as a reminder of trauma
  • Difficulty Remembering

       Sleep

  • Frequently Disturbed
  • Nightmares/Terrors
  • Insomnia
  • Bed wetting

       Mood

  • Guilt
  • Loneliness
  • Loss of interest
  • Hopelessness
  • Fear
  • Tension/ Anxiety

If you or a loved one appears to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Social Anxiety: Phone Calls

Social Anxiety: Phone Calls

By Toniann Seals

Does calling a restaurant to order food make you sick to your stomach? Do you have a fear of jobs whose expectations include answering phones? There is a good chance that you may have some form of social anxiety in relation to phone call phobias.

While you are on the phone do you:

  • Shake?
  • Feel your heart racing?
  • Feel anxious?

Ways to handle a call and address issues when you suffer from social anxiety disorder:

  • Practice your call in a mirror
    • Talk to yourself before you talk to someone else.
  • Write a script
    • It is okay to have exactly what you want to say right in front of you. This can alleviate your social anxiety.
  • Post it notes
    • If you are doing a phone interview or at work, write a cheat sheet with common phone numbers, email addresses, resume details and facts that will come up frequently.
  • Speak slowly and calmly
    • Remind yourself that you do not need to rush. Take your time!
  • Let an incoming call go to voicemail
    • Voicemail is an option for a reason. If you are feeling exceptionally worried, take a moment and let it go to voicemail. You can always call back when you are ready.

If you or someone you know suffers from social anxiety speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/afraid-making-phone-calls-tips-3024317

(Image) https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2016/04/the-life-and-death-of-the-prank-phone-call/476340/

Depression: Burning Out

Depression: Burning Out

By Toniann Seals

While living in a face paced society burn out is typically inevitable. Maybe you have a stressful job, heavy course load at school or personal/family issues going on. These problems you may face in your lifetime could bring excessive stress and lead to burn out.

Signs of Burn Out:

  • Excessive or too little sleep
  • Not making time for your hobbies
  • Dreading the next day/negative thoughts
  • Overworking

After burn out occurs many people find themselves stuck at a standstill. They are not able to move forward in their work or complete simple daily tasks. Once you notice the signs above, take action immediately to help yourself.

Effects:

  • Lowered Self Esteem
  • Less productivity
  • Feelings of not being enough
  • Lack of happiness

If you or someone you know is suffering from burn out speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Image:

http://www.gotoppm.com/stress-burnout-and-saying-no/

Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD) in Children

By: Tamar Asayan

School Phobia is now referred to Separation Anxiety. It can also be known as school refusal or school avoidance because it makes going to school very difficult for children. Separation Anxiety Disorder is when someone has excessive fear or anxiety about leaving their home or an attachment figure. In children, their attachment figure is usually their parents because they see them as a figure of protection and do not want to leave their side. Humans require an attachment to parental figures because they provide love, protection, and care to us. Children attach their deepest fears to their parents because they believe they can make any fear go away.

Children who have separation anxiety have a difficult time sleeping alone, going to school, avoiding play dates, and do anything to stay at home with their parents. They also experience symptoms of dizziness, upset stomach, nausea, vomiting, headaches, and have difficulty sleeping. These symptoms can lead to children not wanting to leave their house even more because the thought of a parent leaving can give symptoms of panic and anxious thoughts.

Separation Anxiety Disorder is more common in children who suffer from parents separating or going through a divorce. Any detachment from a parent is experienced as a life threatening danger to the child. They fear they no longer will be protected and will be left alone by their parents. These feelings of anxiety are relieved when they are safe in the presence of their parents to reassure them that they are not going anywhere. In order for children to overcome their separation anxiety and their fear to attend school it is important to seek help as early as they can.

The best method in treating Separation Anxiety Disorder is by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT); it helps parents and children learn new coping skills when they are separated from each other. It is also important to make your child feel safe and protected in the environment they are living in and develop trust in their parents that they are not going to leave them.

If you are a parent and are concerned about your child having separation anxiety call the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inside-out-outside-in/201505/what-is-separation-anxiety 

Image: http://childcarephysicans.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/blide.jpeg

 

Confrontation Vs. Feedback

Confrontation Vs. Feedback

By Toniann Seals

At some point in your life you will face a confrontational situation. A few scenarios include telling a friend about your feelings, letting a coworker know that their work is incorrect and explaining to a peer that a decision they made was not okay. How you approach these situations matter.

Confrontation (Negative):

  • Problem oriented
  • Unwelcoming
  • Assertive
  • Aggressive
  • Belittling

Feedback (Positive):

  • Solution oriented
  • Inviting
  • Understanding
  • Guiding
  • Uplifting

The way you handle a situation will affect both you and the one receiving the information. A great way to face a problem is by always having a solution readily available to suggest. It shows that you care and want to make the situation better.

If you or someone you know is having a difficult time dealing with confrontation speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Image:

https://canada.businesschief.com/marketing/796/The-Dreaded-Social-Media-Confrontation

PTSD: Not Just for Veterans

ptsd

PTSD: Not Just for Veterans

By Jessica Burgess

While you may have heard about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) before, you may have only heard it associated with veterans and war events. The truth is, anyone of any age can suffer from PTSD if they have witnessed or experienced a scary event. Every year, about 5.2 million Americans suffer from PTSD. Some events that might trigger PTSD include:

  • Sexual abuse or assault
  • Combat
  • A violent crime
  • A plane crash or car accident
  • A natural disaster like a hurricane, tornado, or fire
  • Or any life-threatening event

Symptoms of PTSD can include:

  • Lack of trust in others
  • Nightmares about the event
  • Avoidance of places or things that remind you of the event
  • Being on the lookout for danger constantly

On average, PTSD starts about 3 months after the event but some people do not have signs until years later. The length of recovery also varies with some recovering in 6 months and others taking much longer to recover. The best way to treat PTSD is to talk to your mental health professional.

If you think you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of PTSD, speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health, National Institute of Mental Health. (2016). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): A Real Illness (NIH Publication No. 00-4675). Bethesda, MD; U.S. Government Printing Office.

Image: https://tce-live2.s3.amazonaws.com/media/media/18a0d81b–c5ad-4ab5-811f–3f413a2d646b.jpg

Alcohol Abuse: College Students

Alcohol Abuse: College Students

By Toniann Seals

For many, college is the first time in one’s young adult life that they are away from their families and on their own. Without direct supervision they begin to experiment, especially with alcohol. Unfortunately, some find themselves victims of alcohol abuse and have a hard time fighting the addiction.

Identifying Alcohol Abuse:

  • Missing important assignments, classes or meetings because of alcohol
  • Vomiting each time you drink alcohol
  • Not able to control the amount you drink
  • Drinking before or during class/work
  • Constant feeling of regret after a night out of drinking
  • Inability to control your behaviors while under the influence
  • Binge Drinking

Some may claim that they are just trying to have “fun” in college, however being a college student does not make a person immune to the detrimental side effects of alcohol abuse.

According to the NIAAA, “Approximately 2 out of every 5 college students of all ages (more than 40 percent) reported binge drinking at least once in the 2 weeks prior.” Drinking too much alcohol in a short period of time can lead to health problems, injury and even death. Fitting in is not worth what could potentially happen to you. If you are drinking because of stress, a traumatic experience or bad breakup, professional help could be very beneficial.

If you or someone you know is dealing with alcohol abuse speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources:

https://www.addictioncenter.com/alcohol/binge-drinking/

(Image) http://allaboutaddiction.com/addiction/college-students-binge-drinking/