By Crystal Tsui
Persuasion is the action or fact of convincing someone to do or believe something. It is used every day by individuals and even big corporations, whether it’s big adverts or a friend trying to get you to go see a concert with them. Persuasion and deception are often blurred; however, deception is the intent to “trick” someone into doing or believing something.
Some ways people persuade others are:
- The authority bias: influenced by opinion or actions of people in a position of power.
- Social proof: decide on how to behave by looking to what others are doing
- Door-in-the-face technique: persuader begins with a large request and they will expect to be rejected. The persuader will ask for a smaller request (their intended goal) and rely on guilt for the victim to accept
Persuasion is used daily even if you are not aware of it. Adverts and sales people use persuasion for their job. However, you are the one doing the persuading and want to improve your skills; all you have to do is listen. Listening to the other person and always be on their side is the most important aspect of persuasion. Here are other ways to improve your persuading techniques:
- Be open to the recipient of the person you are trying to persuade. You want them to be relaxed
- Mirror their response. This gives the impression that their viewpoint has been fully received
- Understand their viewpoint on the subject
- Like the previous step, be more agreeable. People like agreeable people and they will be more willing to be accepting.
- Don’t use the word “but.” It negates all the previous effort on trying to be agreeable and open to their viewpoint.
By: Tamar Asayan
Everyone has experienced rejection whether it was not getting the job you wanted, your friends not inviting you somewhere and posting about it online, or even having someone not like you back. Rejection is the loss of something you may have once had or wanted. It is similar to abandonment because it leaves you feeling less than and unwanted. Unfortunately, rejection is something that cannot be avoided and it is a part of life that everyone will have to experience. No matter how small or big the rejection you experience is, it is always going to hurt you and leave an emotional wound. Not only does rejection cause emotional pain, but it also damages someone’s self-esteem and effects one’s mood resulting in frustration and anger. An article, “Why Rejection Hurts So Much-and What to do About it” states, “The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal pain” (Winch). If you are feeling the pain of being rejected here are some ways to cope and overcome it in healthier ways.
- Acknowledge the pain and grief of loss
- When you are rejected, you may feel embarrassed and don’t know how to exactly cope with it. You may repress your feelings and ignore the fact that you are in pain.
- In order to accept rejection, you must accept the pain of what you are going through. Whether it is crying, going to therapy, exercising, or even journaling, it is important to relieve and express the emotions faced when being rejected.
- Don’t blame yourself
- Most of the time you don’t understand why you have been rejected and naturally you place the blame on yourself.
- The reason you believe you are at fault is because early in life you may have been taught to believe that you are not enough.
- Do not take responsibility for what is out of your control.
- Put yourself out there
- Rejection is part of the process which leads to success. Do not take it personally, it’s part of life.
- Putting yourself out there can make you less sensitive to rejection; the more you are rejected the less it hurt us.
- Build your resiliency
- To be resilient is to be able to recover or come back from a stressful or traumatizing event.
- Resiliency can be learned by doing some of the following:
- Having an open mind
- Seeking solutions
- Learning from an experience
- Seeking support
- Knowing your worth and strengths
If you or someone you know is feeling rejected or dealing with rejection, call now to make an appointment to speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ (201) 368-3700 or Manhattan, NY offices at or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.
By: Dianna Gomez
Where would the world be without communication? Whether it be conscious or unconscious, we communicate in one way or another with those around us every minute of every day. We communicate in the work place, in relationships, with our friends and family – sometimes even when passing by strangers walking down the street. You would think that with the amount of communicating we do as a human species on a daily basis, we would have it all down to a “ T ” by now but that is far from the truth. Every once in a while we experience miscommunication and other frustrations related to interacting with the people around us. In order to improve the quality of communication in one’s own life, it is important to begin by understanding the different methods of communication between each gender. There are so many fundamental differences regarding the way in which men and women behave and think when it comes to communication. On average, women tend to speak more than men and when each gender is communicating, they do so for different reasons and from different perspectives.
Here is a list of these differences:
- Reasons For Talking
- Men believe that communication should always have a clear purpose. Whether there is a problem in need of a solution or a specific question needing an answer, men use communication to get to the bottom of any topic of conversation in the most efficient way possible. On the other hand, a woman views communication as a way to discover how she may feel about something. Women like to lay all the potential pros and cons out on the table and discuss each more thoroughly. When it comes to relationships, communication is a way in which women increase intimacy with their significant others. They share their thoughts to rid themselves of any negative feelings they may be having.
2. How Much Should Be Said
- Similarly to the first point, men always put productivity and efficiency at the very top of their lists. When telling a story, men only share the details that are absolutely necessary to get to the point. Women tend to share as much detail as possible, even if it isn’t necessarily needed. This is often times why men may interrupt women half way through an explanation when they have already received the point that is ultimately trying to be made.
3. What Does It Mean To “Listen?”
- When a woman first initiates a conversation with a man, she assumes they are doing so to obtain some type of advice or assistance. They automatically think to themselves “what can we actually do about this?” From the woman’s perspective, having the conversation all on it’s own is a way of finding a solution to any problem. Women just want to feel like they are being heard and understood, and if they feel this is happening any problem will already feel partially solved.
Communication is so important in every aspect of our lives. Especially when it comes to having relationships with significant others, if these fundamental differences aren’t already understood, there will be many disagreements and arguments about things that there wouldn’t be otherwise. Regardless of what gender you are, the next time you find yourself feeling frustrated when communicating with the opposite sex, take a step back and try to see the situation from their point of view. If this is done over a long enough period of time, you will find that life will soon go a lot smoother in all areas of your life.
If you or anybody you know may be having trouble with communication or may be having relationship problems they can’t seem to resolve, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit us at http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.