Suicide: What is Suicide Grief?

Suicide: What is Suicide Grief

By Lynette Rivas

At some point in almost everyone’s life, they will experience losing a loved one, which can then be followed by grief. But what about losing your loved one to suicide? This type of grief is known as suicide grief, where an individual feels both despair and guilt after losing a loved one to suicide.

It is important to note that not everyone experiences grief in the same way or for the same amount of time. The intensity and the complexity of grief are determined by the relationship with the person that died, how the death occurred, any existing coping strategies, and if support is available. 

Suicide grief can be a period of intense emotions for some people. These include emotions such as shock, guilt, anger, confusion, and/or despair. These emotions can even be accompanied by nightmares, flashbacks, social withdrawal, difficulty concentrating, and/or loss of interest. Anyone that is experiencing grief should keep in mind that it is important to:

  • Keep in touch – reaching out to loved ones, friends, and spiritual leaders
  • Grieve in your own manner – everyone does not grieve in the same way
  • Do not rush yourself – grieving can be as short as a few days to as long as a couple of months

If the grief is too much to bear and becomes too intense, then it is time to turn to a mental health provider for help. Unresolved grief can become difficult over time to the point where the individual is no longer able to go back to their normal life. If the individual thinks that they might be unusually depressed, it is important that they seek professional mental health help.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/suicide/art-20044900

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/after-a-suicide-loss/suicide-and-grief#:~:text=Grief%20in%20response%20to%20suicide,the%20stigma%20associated%20with%20suicide.

Image Source:

https://time.com/6117708/grief-isolation/

Helping Children Deal with Grief

Helping Children Deal with Grief

By: Michaela Reynolds

Losing a loved one is inevitable and can be one of the most difficult times in life. Sadly, you cannot protect your children from the pain of the loss, but you can help them build healthy coping skills. The grieving process will look different to everyone, but it is especially different with children compared to adults. For example, preschool children will most likely view death as temporary and reversible. This is because cartoon character’s death in TV shows or movies usually will die and come back to life. While children between the ages of 5-9 will start to think of death like adults do. However, they will view death as rare and not something that will happen to them.

It is important to help the child express feelings about the death. A way to do this is by reading the child books about death, telling stories or looking at pictures of the person who died. It is also important for you to express your own sadness and make them aware that it is okay to be sad at this time. Offer your support and comfort when you can, while also encouraging them to ask any questions or talk about their feelings.

It is normal that the following weeks after the death for the child to feel immediate grief or believe that the person is still alive. However, long-term denial or avoidance of grief can be unhealthy and can lead to severe future problems.

Signs of children experiencing serious problems with grief:

  • Extended period of depression: a child loses interest in daily activities
  • Loss of appetite, inability to sleep, and prolonged fear of being alone
  • Excessive imitation of the person who died
  • Acting much younger for an extended period of time
  • Believing they are talking to or seeing the person who died
  • Withdrawal from friends
  • Sharp drop in school performance or refusal to attend

If these signs persist, please seek professional help; a child and adolescent mental health professional will be able to help your child accept and properly grieve the death.

If you or someone you know is seeking therapy for the loss of a loved one, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/  

Sources:

https://childmind.org/article/helping-children-deal-grief/

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Grief-008.aspx

Image: https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/supporting-child-through-grief-and-loss

The Courage to Love Again-The Psychology of Heartbreak

The risk of loving someone is the fact that heartbreak may come one day. It is associated with singlehood, neurotic tendencies, and an anxious/avoidant attachment. After the heartbreak one starts the fear being hurt again or/and you start to believe that there is something about you that makes it impossible for someone to love you properly.

Romantic love activates in the caudate nucleus through dopamine.  Psychologist refer to this part of the brain as the “reward system”, emphasizing the idea that love does trigger emotion but essentially it is more of a motivational state, the motivation to obtain and retain the objects affection. This part of the brain lights up when someone is in love and when someone is a cocaine addict, meaning you are essentially an addict. Getting over your lost love will be tedious but well worth it. Researchers have found that if a person was no longer in love but still in pain from a break up their brain would still be in motivation mode, and expecting a reward. Hence why heartbreak can bring visceral pain, your body is not getting what it wants. The grieving person has numerous neural circuits devoted to the lost person, and each of these has to be brought up and reconstructed to take into account the person’s absence.

Specifically, the pain may be caused by the simultaneous hormonal triggering of the sympathetic activation system (fight-or-flight system that increases the activity of the heart and lungs) and the parasympathetic activation system (rest-and-digest response, social engagement system). It’s like heart’s accelerator and brakes are pushed simultaneously, creating the feeling of heartbreak.

What can help?

  • Give yourself time to grieve and reflect
  • Forgive the other person and yourself
  • Work on rebuilding good feelings about yourself and a life on your own
  • Avoid assumptions that keep you mired in the wreckage of your past relationship
  • Be aware of old relationship patterns
  • Be open to someone who is different
  • Give love time to grow

If you or someone you know is seeking therapy due to heartbreak, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/this_is_your_brain_on_heartbreak

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complicated-love/202011/love-after-heartbreak

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complicated-love/202011/love-after-heartbreak

Learning How to Face Rejection

rejection

By: Tamar Asayan

Everyone has experienced rejection whether it was not getting the job you wanted, your friends not inviting you somewhere and posting about it online, or even having someone not like you back. Rejection is the loss of something you may have once had or wanted. It is similar to abandonment because it leaves you feeling less than and unwanted. Unfortunately, rejection is something that cannot be avoided and it is a part of life that everyone will have to experience. No matter how small or big the rejection you experience is, it is always going to hurt you and leave an emotional wound. Not only does rejection cause emotional pain, but it also damages someone’s self-esteem and effects one’s mood resulting in frustration and anger. An article, “Why Rejection Hurts So Much-and What to do About it” states, “The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal pain” (Winch). If you are feeling the pain of being rejected here are some ways to cope and overcome it in healthier ways.

  1. Acknowledge the pain and grief of loss
  • When you are rejected, you may feel embarrassed and don’t know how to exactly cope with it. You may repress your feelings and ignore the fact that you are in pain.
  • In order to accept rejection, you must accept the pain of what you are going through. Whether it is crying, going to therapy, exercising, or even journaling, it is important to relieve and express the emotions faced when being rejected.
  1. Don’t blame yourself
  • Most of the time you don’t understand why you have been rejected and naturally you place the blame on yourself.
  • The reason you believe you are at fault is because early in life you may have been taught to believe that you are not enough.
  • Do not take responsibility for what is out of your control.
  1. Put yourself out there
  • Rejection is part of the process which leads to success. Do not take it personally, it’s part of life.
  • Putting yourself out there can make you less sensitive to rejection; the more you are rejected the less it hurt us.
  1. Build your resiliency
  • To be resilient is to be able to recover or come back from a stressful or traumatizing event.
  • Resiliency can be learned by doing some of the following:
    • Having an open mind
    • Seeking solutions
    • Learning from an experience
    • Seeking support
    • Knowing your worth and strengths
    • Self-care

If you or someone you know is feeling rejected or dealing with rejection, call now to make an appointment to speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ (201) 368-3700 or Manhattan, NY offices at or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources: https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-overcome-rejection-like-a-champ/

https://ideas.ted.com/why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-what-to-do-about-it/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2019/02/4-strategies-to-cope-with-the-pain-of rejection/

Image: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1327598/Why-rejection-good-you.html