Codependency is a relationship dynamic that is unhealthy and potentially harmful. It involves going above and beyond for a partner while simultaneously putting your needs below theirs. There is nothing wrong with being dependent on someone or tending to a loved one, but there is a limit to what can be considered a healthy dependent relationship and an unhealthy codependent relationship.
Codependency often involves:
- Self-sacrifice
- Hyper focusing on your partner
- Idealizing your partner
- Controlling behavior
- An overwhelming fear of abandonment
People who find themselves in codependent relationships often have seemingly low self-esteem and poor interpersonal boundaries. These interpersonal issues make them susceptible to a need to please others and take responsibility for other people’s problems. The main issue with codependency is the inability to differentiate oneself as an individual in a relationship. A healthy dependent relationship does not mean you are no longer an individual, it simply means you will be there for each other in times of need, and will know when to say your partner is asking too much of you. However, if you find yourself constantly putting the needs of someone else before your own, you may be in a codependent relationship.
A mental health professional can offer help with codependency by:
- Helping to recognize signs
- Eliminating people-pleasing actions
- Addressing co-morbid disorders such as depression or anxiety
- Helping to rekindle your sense of self
- Setting boundaries
If you or someone you know is seeking therapy for a codependent relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/codependency
https://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-signs-of-codependency#is-it-the-same-as-being-dependent
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