Communication in romantic relationships: Healthy communication and its importance
By: Anna Giammanco
Communication is key to maintaining a stable and healthy relationship. Whether romantic or platonic, open communication can help deal with conflict by vocalizing issues and concerns within a relationship. Working through obstacles can create a stronger relationship.
Tips for healthy communication:
Be clear and concise about what you want to communicate. Make sure your partner understands what it is you are trying to communicate and doesn’t misconstrue your words.
Talk about the situation and how it has been affecting you.
Use ‘I’ statements such as “I feel …” “I need …” “I want …”
Accept responsibility for your own actions, feelings, and mistakes.
Listen to what your partner has to say and put aside your own thoughts for the time being to completely hear them out.
Share positive feelings with your partner. Let them know that they are appreciated and important to you.
Be aware of your tone of voice.
Negotiate and try to compromise on the issue.
If you or someone you know needs help please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nursepractitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Psychotherapy & Psychiatric Services. Contact our Manhattan, NY or Paramus, NJ offices respectively at (201)368-3700 or (212) 722- 1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://counselingpsychotherapynjny.com
Couple’s Counseling: How to know When You and Your Partner Should Attend By: Ashley Marron
Couple’s counseling is a form of psychotherapy that is focused on helping the couple better understand their relationship, overcome challenges in a healthy and effective way, and develop better ways of relating to and communicating with one another. Couple’s counseling is for any couple whether they are married, non-married, polyamorous, monogamous, long-distance, or in an open relationship. There are many areas that couple’s counseling can help with such as infidelity, challenges related to sex and intimacy, difficulty communicating with one another, and financial issues and concerns. An issue such as infidelity can be very difficult to overcome considering it causes there to be a lack of trust; however, many couples find that after attending couple’s counseling they come back stronger than before.
There are some key signs of when it is time to see a therapist as a couple. If you and your partner are considering splitting up, if you are feeling stuck on how to resolve a reoccurring conflict, or you and your partner are experiencing an extreme stressor which is affecting the relationship such as an affair or recently having a baby, then it may be time to seek help together. Couple’s counseling does not always have to be as a result of a failing relationship. Many couples go to counseling together in an effort to continue to strengthen and build their relationship. If your partner is not interested in seeking therapy together, individual services are also available and can be beneficial if you need support.
If you and your partner are seeking couple’s counseling, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/
Relationships; How to Recognize a Toxic Relationship
By: Priya Desai
A toxic relationship can be hard to identify, especially when you are in the relationship. There are many instances where the people closest to you will notice first that the relationship you are in is not good for you. Here are signs of a toxic relationship that can help you identify if you are in one.
Signs of a toxic relationship:
Lack of trust
When you are in a relationship, both partners should have trust in each other. Trust varies from being loyal to your partner to trusting that they have the best interest in their mind when they are thinking about the relationship. Trust is the foundation of a relationship and without it, it can’t work.
Hostile communication
Hostile communication includes verbal abuse and physical abuse. This can be name calling, yelling, constant interruption, or throwing and breaking things.
Controlling behaviors
Your partner has no right to control your actions or beliefs. This can include telling you what’s right, secluding you from your closest friends/family, and requiring access to your personal social media accounts and phone.
All take, no give
If you feel as if your partner is not doing anything for you, but you are consistently taking orders from him/her, this is another big red flag. This includes always being the first one to text and always being the one to make plans to hang out with your partner. The feelings should be reciprocated all the time.
If you or someone you know is in a toxic relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/
Codependency is a relationship dynamic that is unhealthy and potentially harmful. It involves going above and beyond for a partner while simultaneously putting your needs below theirs. There is nothing wrong with being dependent on someone or tending to a loved one, but there is a limit to what can be considered a healthy dependent relationship and an unhealthy codependent relationship.
Codependency often involves:
Self-sacrifice
Hyper focusing on your partner
Idealizing your partner
Controlling behavior
An overwhelming fear of abandonment
People who find themselves in codependent relationships often have seemingly low self-esteem and poor interpersonal boundaries. These interpersonal issues make them susceptible to a need to please others and take responsibility for other people’s problems. The main issue with codependency is the inability to differentiate oneself as an individual in a relationship. A healthy dependent relationship does not mean you are no longer an individual, it simply means you will be there for each other in times of need, and will know when to say your partner is asking too much of you. However, if you find yourself constantly putting the needs of someone else before your own, you may be in a codependent relationship.
A mental health professional can offer help with codependency by:
Helping to recognize signs
Eliminating people-pleasing actions
Addressing co-morbid disorders such as depression or anxiety
Helping to rekindle your sense of self
Setting boundaries
If you or someone you know is seeking therapy for a codependent relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/
During Coronavirus, a lot of extra strain and anxiety have been placed on marriages. While research has shown that disasters uncover strengths in relationships it can also reveal issues. Even in the best relationships, we still always need a little bit of space from each other.
Since Coronavirus has begun, applications for divorce have risen greatly in the Chinese city of Xi’an. While divorce rates do increase during times of stress, this is unprecedented. There aren’t just changes in routine and close contact without breaks, there are many other factors influencing marital stress during these times. An increased amount of new anxiety about health and keeping safe from Covid-19, unemployment and therefore financial insecurity, caring for elderly relatives with reduced strength immune systems, lacking social connection outside of the spouse, dealing with childcare and school issues, or simply managing chores and uncertainty about what will be in the future are just a few of the issues that could be causing marital stress. In addition, couples may be using different coping mechanisms during stressful times which clash with the other spouse. One might be active and attempt to be cheerful while the other might be hopeless and passive.
There are many ways to fight against this marital strain, here are a couple ways to combat it. By picking your battles you can limit the amount of arguments and issues you create in the home. Even further, you can put a time limit on your arguments in order for them not to affect every moment of the day, when the time limit is up you can put it all behind you. Create some alone time, when you make boundaries stick to them. Another way to get some alone time and be active is to exercise, even just by taking a walk. Speaking to other people over the phone or video chat so your spouse isn’t the only person you talk to is another good way to make sure you can have a little break. Lastly, focus on survival during these difficult times not creating issues and rifts between you and your partner.
If you or someone you know needs support with their marriage, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .
Marriage therapy is a form of psychotherapy that helps couples recognize problems and offer solutions to their relationships. Through therapy, couples can choose to strengthen their relationships or part ways. Affairs or unfaithfulness can be challenging to overcome in any marriage. Therapy can be successful and infidelity shall not recur if all parties, including the therapist, are compassionate, respectful and empathetic.
Counseling a couple after infidelity can be painful but successful in most cases. A study by Shirley Glass in 2000 found that 71% of couples she had seen in therapy after an infidelity stayed together.
What Helps the Couple Heal?
The betrayer must be patient and understand the hurt partners feelings can help the process. Details and all questions must be answered to serve the purpose of giving the hurt partner a feeling of control.
Therapists can start a ritual with the couple of burying the past, putting the infidelity behind them and remembering the good memories in their relationship.
In early stages, the hurt partner might need to hear the words “sorry” everyday.
In therapy, open discussions about what both partners need from each other sexually are very important.
Marriage Therapy can help address each partner’s needs, desires and aspirations. The hurt spouse can learn to trust the betrayer and the betrayer can learn to express their feelings in therapy. Giving yourself and your relationship the opportunity to heal and grow with marriage therapy is slow and hard work but your marriage is worth it.
If you or someone you know needs support with their marriage, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .
Marriage counseling, also known as couples’ therapy, is a form of therapy where couples seek to resolve conflicts and improve their relationship. The outcome of marriage counseling is typically a strengthened relationship that the couple has worked to rebuild or, if differences cannot be resolved, the couple will break up/divorce. Many times, a relationship will degrade over several years as no effort has been made to repair the relationship. Through taking the action of attending marriage counseling, a couple may have a better chance of staying together.
Marriage counseling enables a couple to achieve a deeper understanding of one another. Specifically, problems that can be worked on through during therapy include communication issues, addiction, infidelity, conflicts about money, children, jobs, anger, stress, and sexual problems. While divorce may be the final result of marriage counseling, many couples are able to salvage their relationship.
A therapist helps the couple on developing problem-solving techniques and improve the ability to communicate effectively. Achieving respectful communication will prevent future arguments and will help increase marital satisfaction. Marriage counseling requires psychologists, social workers and/or therapists to acquire specific credentials and licensing. Thus, marriage counselors have vast knowledge and training to help couples work through their issues. Making the decision to go to marriage counseling to work on issues in one’s relationship is a positive step and a healthy way to deal with marital problems.
If you or someone you know is seeking marriage counseling, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .
Depression: How to Support a Spouse with Depression By: Isabelle Siegel
Depression can cause immense pain and suffering for more than just the individual diagnosed. The partners/spouses of individuals with depression commonly report feeling hopeless and helpless, unsure how to provide necessary support to their partner/spouse. Attempts to help may be met with apathy or even anger, further complicating a seemingly simple question: How can I support my partner/spouse with depression?
Develop an understanding of depression and how it manifests in your partner/spouse. It can be helpful to research depression, taking note of its symptoms and causes. Understand that depression is an illness and not a choice. You may want to create a list of your partner’s/spouse’s particular symptoms and triggers for depressive episodes in order to better understand his/her experiences.
As simple as it sounds, just be there. Depression may have your partner/spouse doubting that you love him/her and may make him/her feel as though he/she is a burden to you. Assure your partner that you are there for him/her and that you love him/her despite his/her illness.
Encourage him/her to get help. Depressive symptoms can interfere with one’s motivation and ability to get help, so continuously encourage treatment. Help your partner/spouse find a therapist and/or psychiatrist, bring him/her to appointments, and cheer him/her on as they undergo treatment.
Do things you both enjoy. One important treatment step for depression is known as “opposite action,” in which individuals with depression act opposite to how they feel. If they feel like laying in bed all day, for example, they should get up and out of the house. As a partner/spouse, you can help by encouraging your partner/spouse to act opposite to their depressive urges by engaging in activities that you both enjoy.
Understand the warning signs of suicide. Individuals with depression are more vulnerable to suicide, so it may be important to know signs that your partner is considering taking his/her life. These may include talking about suicide, social withdrawal, giving away belongings, or obtaining means of attempting suicide. If you believe that your partner is at risk for suicide, seek immediate help.
Most importantly, take care of yourself and seek therapy. Research suggests that having a partner/spouse with depression increases one’s own risk of developing depressive symptoms. It is important to understand that your partner/spouse is not the only one who needs support. Never feel guilty for prioritizing your own needs, and consider seeking therapy or other support in order to take care of your own mental health.
If you or a loved one needs support, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/
Bipolar Disorder: How to Support a Spouse with Bipolar Disorder
By: Isabelle Siegel
Bipolar Disorder is characterized by alternating manic (“elevated, expansive, or irritable mood”) and depressive (“depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure in life”) episodes. The disorder causes significant suffering for the individual diagnosed, as well as his/her loved ones. It can be extremely difficult to support a partner or spouse with Bipolar Disorder, but it is possible with the right mindset and preemptive actions.
Develop an understanding of Bipolar Disorder and how it manifests in your partner/spouse. Psych Central suggests creating a list of warning signs that your partner/spouse starts to exhibit before or while entering a manic or depressive episode. This will help you to better understand your partner/spouse, as well as enable you to interpret his/her behaviors in the context of the disorder.
Learn what helps (and what does not help) when your partner/spouse is in a manic or depressive episode. When your partner/spouse is stable, work together to create a list of actions you can take to alleviate symptoms when he/she is in a manic or depressive episode.
Communicate. As cliche as it sounds, open communication is integral to maintaining a relationship with someone who has Bipolar Disorder. It is important that each partner/spouse feels heard and validated at all times.
During manic or depressive episodes, understand your partner’s/spouse’s behavior in the context of the disorder. During episodes, it is important to view your partner’s/spouse’s actions and words as symptoms of a disorder rather than as reflective of his/her true feelings. If your partner/spouse says something hurtful, for example, try to understand the role that the disorder is playing in causing this behavior.
Allow yourself to feel frustration, upset, or any other emotion. Understand that Bipolar Disorder is an illness and that it is normal for difficult or conflicting emotions to arise. Do not feel guilty for feeling frustrated, upset, angry, resentful, or even for wanting to leave your partner/spouse at times. All of these feelings are normal.
Most importantly, take care of yourself andseek therapy. Understand that your partner/spouse is not the only one who needs support and never feel guilty for prioritizing your own needs. It can be beneficial to seek therapy or other support in order to take care of your own mental health and to work through difficult emotions.
If you or a loved one needs support and help understanding yourself and/or a family member, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/
Addiction: How to Support a Spouse with Addiction By: Isabelle Siegel
One hallmark sign of addiction is continued substance use despite interference with one’s interpersonal relationships. Addiction can take an immense toll on romantic relationships in particular, causing pain and suffering for both parties. The partners/spouses of people with addiction may feel as though they are helpless, unable to provide the support that is needed. However, there are steps that partners/spouses can take to support their partner/spouse and themselves.
Develop an understanding of addiction and how it manifests in your partner/spouse. Research “Substance Use Disorder” and its symptoms, taking note of which symptoms apply to your partner/spouse. It may be helpful to create a list of warning signs that your partner/spouse is using substances, as well as to learn what to do in the case of an overdose.
Support, but avoid enabling. Enabling entails making excuses for your partner’s/spouse’s addictive behavior, communicating to them that such behavior is acceptable and can be continued. Instead, stress the necessity of change while also practicing devotion and love.
Establish boundaries for your relationship. Many professionals suggest establishing a set of boundaries that must be respected. For example, you may want to tell your partner/spouse that he/she cannot use substances while in the house.
Be honest with your partner/spouse. Tell your partner/spouse how his/her behavior makes you feel. If your partner’s/spouse’s behavior is hurting you, tell him/her. It is normal to feel uncomfortable during these conversations, but they are important and even necessary for change.
Most importantly, take care of yourself and seek therapy. Understand that your partner/spouse is not the only one who needs support and never feel guilty for prioritizing your own needs. If you feel that the relationship is putting your physical or mental health at risk, it may be necessary to end the relationship. It can be beneficial to seek therapy or other support in order to take care of your own mental health and to work through difficult emotions.
If you or a loved one needs support, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/
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