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Single Parenting Stress

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Single Parenting Stress

By: Mercedes Renter

Raising children on your own can result in an overwhelming amount of stress and pressure into parenting. Aside from the financial obligations of raising a family and maintaining a roof over your head with food on the table, single parenting comes with more obstacles than one may think. Emotionally, a single parent must take on the role of both parents at once which leaves them to be both “bad” and “good” cop all at once. This can allow one to feel lonely and isolated when it comes to decision making because they often feel lost without another opinion. Guilt will arise from these situations but your own well-being it is better to focus on any accomplishments.

There are many ways to reduce the stress and attempt to live in a calmer environment. One thing that can be done is to set up a support system. All parents need a little help here and there so do not feel ashamed to ask for it. Maintaining a daily routine can allow you to find yourself with more time to relax. For example, set up a schedule for meals, chores, bedtimes and anything else that is included in your day to day routine. Treat your children like children; although the other parent is absent you should not rely too heavily on the child. A way to notice if you are relying on them too much is if your frustration is being shown more on them than in any other aspect of your life. Lastly, stay positive and take time for yourself.

If you or someone you know is struggling with single parenting stress contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatric, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Psychotherapy & Psychiatric Services. Contact our Manhattan, NY, or Paramus,NJ offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information please visit https://counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

References: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/types-of-families/Pages/Stresses-of-Single-Parenting.aspx

https://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/single-parenting/10-ways-to-reduce-single-parent-stress/

The Fear of Commitment

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The Fear of Commitment

By Erika Ortiz

Commitment can occur in any aspect of your life. It is only natural to experience anxiety when there are milestones such as signing a new lease, accepting a job offer, getting engaged or married, etc. However, sometimes the anxiety can revert into something much more severe such as gamophobia which is the fear of commitment. It can prevent or inhibit any opportunity to move forward in life or create a stalemate scenario in a relationship where you love someone. However, it seems as though staying single is becoming the “safe bet” for most people. According to the U.S. Census Bureau of 2022, nearly 50% of Americans are single. Many people are struggling to settle down or find a partner. A lot of people recognize that they do have commitment issues; however, a lot of people do not understand why others have these issues with commitment. Recently, people have been struggling with mental health issues and they often carry that struggle into a relationship which can leave their partner or significant other feeling confused as to why the relationship is the way it is. Some reasons why people nowadays have a fear of commitment are emotional uncertainty, issues with anxiety, past trauma, insecurities, and self-esteem. On the other end of the spectrum, some other reasons can be an underlying or undiagnosed disorder that has gone undetected for which they need to seek professional help. If your significant other is the one who fears commitment, understand that they do not feel this way because they don’t love, value, or care about you. They are dealing with many emotions inside that may be hard to handle. In the meantime, you can respect their boundaries, talk to them, and hear them out. On the other hand, it may be best to accept it and move on. It is also strongly advised to seek professional help and try couples therapy or individual therapy as this can help move things forward.

If you or someone you know is struggling with Mental Health please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

Sources

https://psychcentral.com/blog/fear-of-commitment-or-phobia#what-to-do

https://www.census.gov/newsroom/stories/unmarried-single-americans-week.html

Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Spot the Signs

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Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Spot the Signs

By Erika Ortiz

Abuse of any kind must never be tolerated. Whether it is from your boss, spouse, family member, or friend, it should not be taken lightly and must be acted upon quickly before it can escalate to serious issues. However, some forms of abuse are difficult to distinguish and can be especially hard to come to terms with when the abuser is a significant other such as a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. Physical abuse is a well-known form of abuse; however, emotional abuse has a subtle component, making it very tricky to catch. Here are some signs that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship:

Controlling and manipulative- Your partner may make you feel bad for going out or give you a curfew when you’re out with friends.

Gaslighting- Your partner can make you believe points in their arguments or things you have “said” that never happened.

Humiliation and embarrassment- They may insult you, make fun, and make you feel bad about yourself in front of others.

Silent treatment/Stonewalling- After an argument, they may “shut down” to make you feel abandoned and cut communication.

Threats- They may flat-out threaten you in any way, shape, or form possible.

There is quite a lengthy list of signs of emotional abuse. However, it is crucial to be proactive and seek help. These issues can cause or result in depression, anxiety, suicide, and PTSD. It can even lead to physical abuse if it hasn’t already occurred. Please seek professional help immediately if you see any signs of abuse or feel unsafe or unwell.

If you or someone you know is experiencing an emotionally abusive relationship or signs of it, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

 Sources

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/signs-emotionally-abusive-relationship

https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse#control-and-shame

Therapy Animals: How Therapy Animals Benefit Individuals with Mental Health Struggles

GalleryJudy Gurfein 1 Comment

Therapy Animals: How Therapy Animals Benefit Individuals with Mental Health Struggles

By Celine Bennion

Have you ever had a bad day at school or work, felt irritable and discouraged, then came home to your pet greeting you with such enthusiasm that you forgot about your unpleasant day? Animals’ unconditional, loving nature has the power to instantly change a person’s mood, or even just help him or her feel better in general. This ability is utilized in therapeutic settings for those who struggle with mental disorders, as animals can facilitate healing in those afflicted.

Therapy animals are trained to exhibit certain mannerisms that are essential for providing therapeutic benefits to humans. These characteristics include gentleness, friendliness, and willingness to allow strangers to touch and interact with them. Pet owners may enroll their animals in such training to become registered in an official therapy animal organization. This certification allows therapy animals to visit nursing homes, hospitals, schools, and other institutions to provide comfort and companionship to those with whom they interact.

When a therapy animal is present in therapy sessions, patients feel more inclined to communicate and discuss difficult experiences. Additionally, they often experience an increase in self-esteem while in the presence of therapy animals. Individuals often find it difficult to disclose personal and emotional information with a stranger, which holds them back from receiving all of the benefits of psychotherapy. Therapy animals help to provide a sense of comfort, giving unconditional affection and creating a nonjudgmental atmosphere. Their presence makes it easier for patients to let down their guard and speak about their difficult experiences.

If you or someone you know is seeking therapy, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources: https://medicalmutts.org/our-service-dogs/psychiatric-service-dogs/

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/November-2016/The-Power-of-Pet-Therapy

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-truth-about-animal-assisted-therapy#1

Codependency: Recognizing Toxic Behavior

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By: Lydia Gallagher

Codependency is a relationship dynamic that is unhealthy and potentially harmful. It involves going above and beyond for a partner while simultaneously putting your needs below theirs. There is nothing wrong with being dependent on someone or tending to a loved one, but there is a limit to what can be considered a healthy dependent relationship and an unhealthy codependent relationship.

Codependency often involves:
  • Self-sacrifice
  • Hyper focusing on your partner
  • Idealizing your partner
  • Controlling behavior
  • An overwhelming fear of abandonment

People who find themselves in codependent relationships often have seemingly low self-esteem and poor interpersonal boundaries. These interpersonal issues make them susceptible to a need to please others and take responsibility for other people’s problems. The main issue with codependency is the inability to differentiate oneself as an individual in a relationship. A healthy dependent relationship does not mean you are no longer an individual, it simply means you will be there for each other in times of need, and will know when to say your partner is asking too much of you. However, if you find yourself constantly putting the needs of someone else before your own, you may be in a codependent relationship.

A mental health professional can offer help with codependency by:

  • Helping to recognize signs
  • Eliminating people-pleasing actions
  • Addressing co-morbid disorders such as depression or anxiety
  • Helping to rekindle your sense of self
  • Setting boundaries

If you or someone you know is seeking therapy for a codependent relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/codependency

https://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-signs-of-codependency#is-it-the-same-as-being-dependent

Image Source:

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-codependency-5072124

Depression & Anxiety: Overcoming toxic positivity

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By Veronica Oquendo

Have you ever been through a bad event, like a break-up or loss of a family member, and then have someone say “stay positive” or “everything happens for a reason?” These are both examples of toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is an attitude that focuses on staying only positive, and rejecting any negative thoughts or emotions. It is especially relevant during the pandemic, with people brushing off the negative realities of Covid-19, and say it’s “just extra time for you” or “it’ll be over before you know it.” These people are failing to recognize the emotional exhaustion Covid-19 has brought upon us, with death of loved ones, prolonged social isolation, and anxiety over health concerns. It is usually not helpful to be toxically positive, as it can be detrimental to mental health.

The individual fails to process their emotions healthily, is forced to stay quiet over their struggles, and not feel connected to others. It is important to feel a full range of emotions, including the unpleasant ones.  Toxic positivity can leave you feeling shame or guilt over your feelings. One should instead, give oneself permission to feel painful emotions and remember that your feelings are significant and valid. One can manage the negative emotions in a way that does not deny their existence.

Toxic positivity is not helpful to others going through a dilemma. People that are utilizing toxic positivity are most likely minimizing the feelings of the one going through pain for their own comfort. Telling someone “stay positive” when they are going through one of the darkest periods of their lives, invalidates their suffering. Most people need someone to show support by listening to them, without judgement or advice, and being told their feelings are valid.

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression and anxiety please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-man-cave/201908/toxic-positivity-dont-always-look-the-bright-side

Marriage During Covid-19

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    By: Sarah Cohen

    During Coronavirus, a lot of extra strain and anxiety have been placed on marriages. While research has shown that disasters uncover strengths in relationships it can also reveal issues. Even in the best relationships, we still always need a little bit of space from each other. 

    Since Coronavirus has begun, applications for divorce have risen greatly in the Chinese city of Xi’an. While divorce rates do increase during times of stress, this is unprecedented. There aren’t just changes in routine and close contact without breaks, there are many other factors influencing marital stress during these times. An increased amount of new anxiety about health and keeping safe from Covid-19, unemployment and therefore financial insecurity, caring for elderly relatives with reduced strength immune systems, lacking social connection outside of the spouse, dealing with childcare and school issues, or simply managing chores and uncertainty about what will be in the future are just a few of the issues that could be causing marital stress. In addition, couples may be using different coping mechanisms during stressful times which clash with the other spouse. One might be active and attempt to be cheerful while the other might be hopeless and passive.

    There are many ways to fight against this marital strain, here are a couple ways to combat it. By picking your battles you can limit the amount of arguments and issues you create in the home. Even further, you can put a time limit on your arguments in order for them not to affect every moment of the day, when the time limit is up you can put it all behind you. Create some alone time, when you make boundaries stick to them. Another way to get some alone time and be active is to exercise, even just by taking a walk. Speaking to other people over the phone or video chat so your spouse isn’t the only person you talk to is another good way to make sure you can have a little break. Lastly, focus on survival during these difficult times not creating issues and rifts between you and your partner.

    If you or someone you know needs support with their marriage, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-discomfort-zone/202004/will-coronavirus-infect-your-marriage

    https://time.com/5811146/coronavirus-married-relationship/

    Healthy Relationships: What does a healthy relationship look like

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

      Healthy Relationships: What does a healthy relationship look like

      By: Alexa Greenbaum 

      As humans, we seek genuine relationships in which both parties are satisfied and attain benefits from being a part of the relationship. Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons, but the key elements to a healthy relationship remain. Healthy relationships bring out the best in you and make you feel good about yourself. However, a healthy relationship does not mean that it is perfect, no one is healthy 100% of the time. 

      Healthy relationships manifest themselves as healthy communication and proceed at a comfortable pace that feels enjoyable to each person. There is a common goal for where both parties want the relationship to go. Trust is also a component of a healthy relationship. Trust can help you feel secure and give you the confidence that your partner would not do anything to hurt or ruin the relationship. When there is honesty, it can allow yourself to be truthful and candid without fearing how the other person will respond. Independence from a significant other can strengthen a relationship because it can give you the space to be yourself outside of the relationship. No one person can meet all your needs. Maintaining outside interests and relationships can sustain your own identity as well as stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship. Mutual respect is also critical. When there is respect, you value each other’s beliefs and opinions and love one another for who you are as a person.  

      Overall, a healthy relationship does not only require trust, honesty, and independence, healthy relationships also require reciprocation and care. A good relationship is where both parties do things for each other and care about the relationship by voluntarily investing time and energy into the relationship. This means that there is equality within the relationship. The relationship feels balanced so that everyone puts the same effort into the success of the relationship. Equity allows both parties to maintain a meaningful emotional connection. Doing things for each other should be done out of kindness. Kindness means that you are caring and empathetic to one another. Kindness also means that you provide comfort and support, kindness makes each other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. 

      In times of conflict, taking responsibility and owning your actions and words, avoiding placing blame, and admitting when you make a mistake is critical in healthy relationships. Conflict can be healthy if handled correctly and respectfully. If conflicts are handled appropriately, it should not make couples fear disagreement. Healthy conflict is when parties within a relationship openly and respectfully discuss issues but confronting disagreement non-judgmentally. Lastly, a healthy relationship is fun. Fun in a healthy relationship means that you enjoy spending time together that you bring out the best in each other.

      If you or someone you know is struggling in their relationship or another crisis, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

      Sources

      https://www.joinonelove.org/signs-healthy-relationship

      https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help

      Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

      Image Source

      https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/counseling-for-couples-as-part-of-a-healthy-relationship/

      Marriage Counseling

      GalleryJudy Gurfein 1 Comment

        By: Elyse Ganss

        Marriage counseling, also known as couples’ therapy, is a form of therapy where couples seek to resolve conflicts and improve their relationship. The outcome of marriage counseling is typically a strengthened relationship that the couple has worked to rebuild or, if differences cannot be resolved, the couple will break up/divorce. Many times, a relationship will degrade over several years as no effort has been made to repair the relationship. Through taking the action of attending marriage counseling, a couple may have a better chance of staying together.

        Marriage counseling enables a couple to achieve a deeper understanding of one another. Specifically, problems that can be worked on through during therapy include communication issues, addiction, infidelity, conflicts about money, children, jobs, anger, stress, and sexual problems. While divorce may be the final result of marriage counseling, many couples are able to salvage their relationship.

        A therapist helps the couple on developing problem-solving techniques and improve the ability to communicate effectively. Achieving respectful communication will prevent future arguments and will help increase marital satisfaction. Marriage counseling requires psychologists, social workers and/or therapists to acquire specific credentials and licensing. Thus, marriage counselors have vast knowledge and training to help couples work through their issues. Making the decision to go to marriage counseling to work on issues in one’s relationship is a positive step and a healthy way to deal with marital problems.

        If you or someone you know is seeking marriage counseling, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

        Sources:

        https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/marriage-counseling/about/pac-20385249

        Image Source:

        https://psiloveyou.xyz/10-most-common-reasons-couples-need-marriage-counseling-39f9e77d1462?gi=9deeb8d9ff63

        Depression: How to Support a Spouse with Depression

        GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

          Depression: How to Support a Spouse with Depression
          By: Isabelle Siegel

          Depression can cause immense pain and suffering for more than just the individual diagnosed. The partners/spouses of individuals with depression commonly report feeling hopeless and helpless, unsure how to provide necessary support to their partner/spouse. Attempts to help may be met with apathy or even anger, further complicating a seemingly simple question: How can I support my partner/spouse with depression?

          Develop an understanding of depression and how it manifests in your partner/spouse. It can be helpful to research depression, taking note of its symptoms and causes. Understand that depression is an illness and not a choice. You may want to create a list of your partner’s/spouse’s particular symptoms and triggers for depressive episodes in order to better understand his/her experiences.

          As simple as it sounds, just be there. Depression may have your partner/spouse doubting that you love him/her and may make him/her feel as though he/she is a burden to you. Assure your partner that you are there for him/her and that you love him/her despite his/her illness.

          Encourage him/her to get help. Depressive symptoms can interfere with one’s motivation and ability to get help, so continuously encourage treatment. Help your partner/spouse find a therapist and/or psychiatrist, bring him/her to appointments, and cheer him/her on as they undergo treatment.

          Do things you both enjoy. One important treatment step for depression is known as “opposite action,” in which individuals with depression act opposite to how they feel. If they feel like laying in bed all day, for example, they should get up and out of the house. As a partner/spouse, you can help by encouraging your partner/spouse to act opposite to their depressive urges by engaging in activities that you both enjoy.

          Understand the warning signs of suicide. Individuals with depression are more vulnerable to suicide, so it may be important to know signs that your partner is considering taking his/her life. These may include talking about suicide, social withdrawal, giving away belongings, or obtaining means of attempting suicide. If you believe that your partner is at risk for suicide, seek immediate help.

          Most importantly, take care of yourself and seek therapy. Research suggests that having a partner/spouse with depression increases one’s own risk of developing depressive symptoms. It is important to understand that your partner/spouse is not the only one who needs support. Never feel guilty for prioritizing your own needs, and consider seeking therapy or other support in order to take care of your own mental health.

          If you or a loved one needs support, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

          Sources:
          https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/blog/supporting-partner-depression
          https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325523
          https://www.psycom.net/help-partner-deal-with-depression/

          Image Source: https://www.rewire.org/support-partner-depression/