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Addiction: How to Support a Spouse with Addiction

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    Addiction: How to Support a Spouse with Addiction
    By: Isabelle Siegel

    One hallmark sign of addiction is continued substance use despite interference with one’s interpersonal relationships. Addiction can take an immense toll on romantic relationships in particular, causing pain and suffering for both parties. The partners/spouses of people with addiction may feel as though they are helpless, unable to provide the support that is needed. However, there are steps that partners/spouses can take to support their partner/spouse and themselves.

    Develop an understanding of addiction and how it manifests in your partner/spouse. Research “Substance Use Disorder” and its symptoms, taking note of which symptoms apply to your partner/spouse. It may be helpful to create a list of warning signs that your partner/spouse is using substances, as well as to learn what to do in the case of an overdose.

    Support, but avoid enabling. Enabling entails making excuses for your partner’s/spouse’s addictive behavior, communicating to them that such behavior is acceptable and can be continued. Instead, stress the necessity of change while also practicing devotion and love.

    Establish boundaries for your relationship. Many professionals suggest establishing a set of boundaries that must be respected. For example, you may want to tell your partner/spouse that he/she cannot use substances while in the house.

    Be honest with your partner/spouse. Tell your partner/spouse how his/her behavior makes you feel. If your partner’s/spouse’s behavior is hurting you, tell him/her. It is normal to feel uncomfortable during these conversations, but they are important and even necessary for change.

    Most importantly, take care of yourself and seek therapy. Understand that your partner/spouse is not the only one who needs support and never feel guilty for prioritizing your own needs. If you feel that the relationship is putting your physical or mental health at risk, it may be necessary to end the relationship. It can be beneficial to seek therapy or other support in order to take care of your own mental health and to work through difficult emotions.

    If you or a loved one needs support, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

    Sources:
    https://americanaddictioncenters.org/blog/how-to-support-addicted-partner-without-enabling
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-recovery-101/201802/8-ways-help-when-loving-someone-addiction

    Image Source: https://www.healthline.com/health/most-important-things-you-can-do-help-alcoholic

    Relationships: Toxic and Unhealthy

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    Relationships: Toxic and Unhealthy

    By Toniann Seals

    There are numerous signs of a toxic relationship that can help you identify the problem area. Here we focus on romantic relationships. Hopefully these signs will help anyone reading come to the realization that they may be in an unhealthy relationship and know there is a way out.

    1. Your partner never compromises:

    They seem to disregard your opinion or not allow your input in decision making as a couple.

    2. Your partner is overly competitive:

    They always try to go one step ahead of you to become more successful or they do not celebrate your accomplishments out of jealousy.

    3. You are uncomfortable being yourself:

    They make you feel like you have to act differently in front of them and throw away your old self.

    4. Bullying is involved:

    They embarrass you in front of your peers, tell you that you are never going to be good enough, or yell and fight anytime they are unhappy with you.

    5. Your partner isolates you from family and friends:

    They convince you that your family and/or friends are bad for you, feed you lies about them, or do not allow any interaction outside of the relationship.

    6. Jealousy

    They check your phone, track your location, and question your relationships with other people.

    Although ending a toxic or abusive relationship is sometimes hard, it is necessary. Take note of these types of relationships and never settle for something that causes discomfort or unhappiness. Seek help when needed whether it is from friends and family or a professional.

    If you or someone you know is suffering in an unhealthy relationship, contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

    Sources:

    https://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20976691,00.html?slide=117654#117654

    (Image) https://www.wilsoncc.edu/domestic-violence-awareness-event/love-shouldnt-hurt-thumb-72/

    Relationship Building: The Michelangelo Effect

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    Michelangelo's_Pieta_5450_cut_out_black

    Relationship Building: The Michelangelo Effect

    By Jessica Burgess

    When your partner or spouse is working towards a goal, you can either be a help or a hindrance which can have an effect on your relationship as a whole. So how can you be an effective and helpful partner without pushing him or her towards how you think he or she should go about goal attainment? Psychologists Caryl Rusbult, Eli J. Finkel, and Madoka Kumashiro came up with the idea of the Michelangelo Effect to answer this question. Famous sculptor Michelangelo, know for his works such as David, did not believe that he created his pieces, but rather showed their ideal form. Rusbult and her colleagues believe that the same goes for relationships. In an interpersonal relationship, a partner can help the other reveal their ideal self (and vice versa), but he or she does not create that partner. At the same time, he or she can limit the partner’s revelation. Some tips for aiding your partner in personal growth and goal achievement include:

    Affirmation:

    • Both verbal and non-verbal
    • Help and encouragement
    • Ex: Helping out with the kids to allow your partner an extra half hour to work

    Enhancement:

    • Perceiving the partner more positively than he or she views him or herself
    • This is most effective when the enhancement is related to the goal
    • Ex: “You are a hardworking writer so I am certain you will meet your deadline.”

    Verification

    • Affirm the dream and the reality
    • What is realistically attainable?
    • Ex: “Would you be open to us reading some books on how to get started so we know how the process goes?”

    If you or your partner is struggling with support within your relationship call the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy so that they can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/          

     

    Source: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/healing-together/2010/03/promoting-your-partner%e2%80%99s-ideal-self-the-michelangelo-phenomenon/

    Image: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6c/Michelangelo’s_Pieta_5450_cut_out_black.jpg

     

    Postpartum Depression (PPD)

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    By: Estephani Diaz

    Becoming a mom is supposed to be a beautiful new chapter in a woman’s life, as she gives birth to a new life. However, for about 3 to 6 percent of women, it can lead to postpartum depression, also referred to as “baby blues.” Postpartum Depression, also known as “Depression with Peripartum Onset,” is a depression that grows within the first few weeks after giving birth, and/or even while pregnant. In order to be diagnosed with the “baby blues,” one must meet 5 or more of these major depressive episodes:

    • No interest or pleasure in activities
    • Significant weight loss/gain
    • Psycho-motor agitation/retardation
    • Thoughts of death/suicide
    • Insomnia/hypersomnia
    • Depressive mood almost everyday
    • Diminished ability to think/concentrate
    • Feelings of worthlessness
    • Fatigue/loss of energy

    Someone with postpartum depression is likely to experience excessive crying, loss of energy, and even withdrawing from loved ones. She also may have a hard time building a bond with her newborn baby. In this mindset, sometimes moms go on to hurting themselves, and even their baby. This may be accompanied by frequent thoughts of suicide and death.

    If you or someone you know is suffering from postpartum depression, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.