lying bergen county nj

After The Affair: How Therapy Can Help

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    By: Melissa Molina

    Marriage therapy is a form of psychotherapy that helps couples recognize problems and offer solutions to their relationships. Through therapy, couples can choose to strengthen their relationships or part ways. Affairs or unfaithfulness can be challenging to overcome in any marriage. Therapy can be successful and infidelity shall not recur if all parties, including the therapist, are compassionate, respectful and empathetic.

    Counseling a couple after infidelity can be painful but successful in most cases. A study by Shirley Glass in 2000 found that 71% of couples she had seen in therapy after an infidelity stayed together.

    What Helps the Couple Heal?

    The betrayer must be patient and understand the hurt partners feelings can help the process. Details and all questions must be answered to serve the purpose of giving the hurt partner a feeling of control.

    Therapists can start a ritual with the couple of burying the past, putting the infidelity behind them and remembering the good memories in their relationship.

    In early stages, the hurt partner might need to hear the words “sorry” everyday.

    In therapy, open discussions about what both partners need from each other sexually are very important.

    Marriage Therapy can help address each partner’s needs, desires and aspirations. The hurt spouse can learn to trust the betrayer and the betrayer can learn to express their feelings in therapy. Giving yourself and your relationship the opportunity to heal and grow with marriage therapy is slow and hard work but your marriage is worth it.

    If you or someone you know needs support with their marriage, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .


    Source: psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-dance-connection/201302/will-your-marriage-survive-the-affair

    Image Source: intentblog.com/time-seek-therapist-can-couples-counseling-help/

    Lies, Lies, Lies

    GalleryJudy Gurfein 1 Comment

    Lies, Lies, Lies

    By Crystal Tsui

    Lying is something that we are predisposed to do from the time we are born. Infants cry sometimes for no reason at all except for attention. Caregivers would see if the infant wants to eat or have its diaper changed, but in most cases, infants only want to get the caregiver’s attention. That is the earliest form of a lie and we don’t even recognize it.

    As adults, we lie all the time and it’s usually conscious. If we want to get out of doing something, we lie to get ourselves out of the situation. For example, if we want to get out of going to work, we would make something up like we’re sick or our stomachs hurt. We also lie with friends and colleagues too. If we were asked “does this outfit make me look fat,” we would likely to say “no” in order for the other person to feel better and to keep the peace.

    In the Merriam Webster Dictionary, lying is defined as “to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive.” However, when we speak, we can omit certain information that leaves the recipient an impression of something other than what we intended.

    So, what constitutes a lie?

    • A statement must be made
    • The statement must be untrue or an inaccurate description of reality
    • Speaker has the intention to deceive
    • The recipient believes the false statement to be true

    Types of people who lie the most are:

    • Psychopaths
    • Sociopaths
    • Young adults
    • Narcissists
    • Extroverts
    • Salesman

    Although you may spot these people in your life, consider why they may be lying before making assumptions about the person.

    If you or someone you know is a compulsive liar, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    Citations:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-nature-deception/201905/what-is-lie

    https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/the-truth-about-lying

    https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/lying-definition/

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwiNh_WBuariAhXhRt8KHV97CZIQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.porticomagazine.ca%2F2015%2F10%2Flying-to-get-the-job%2F&psig=AOvVaw3au372DVa_mkb1rB9lTS66&ust=1558453235267372