Couple’s Counseling: How to know When You and Your Partner Should Attend

Couple’s counseling is a form of psychotherapy that is focused on helping the couple better understand their relationship, overcome challenges in a healthy and effective way, and develop better ways of relating to and communicating with one another. Couple’s counseling is for any couple whether they are married, non-married, polyamorous, monogamous, long-distance, or in an open relationship. There are many areas that couple’s counseling can help with such as infidelity, challenges related to sex and intimacy, difficulty communicating with one another, and financial issues and concerns. An issue such as infidelity can be very difficult to overcome considering it causes there to be a lack of trust; however, many couples find that after attending couple’s counseling they come back stronger than before.

There are some key signs of when it is time to see a therapist as a couple. If you and your partner are considering splitting up, if you are feeling stuck on how to resolve a reoccurring conflict, or you and your partner are experiencing an extreme stressor which is affecting the relationship such as an affair or recently having a baby, then it may be time to seek help together. Couple’s counseling does not always have to be as a result of a failing relationship. Many couples go to counseling together in an effort to continue to strengthen and build their relationship. If your partner is not interested in seeking therapy together, individual services are also available and can be beneficial if you need support.

If you and your partner are seeking couple’s counseling, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/when-to-go-to-couples-therapy-and-how-long-it-takes-to-work

https://zencare.co/therapy-type/couples-counseling

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Parental Alienation Syndrome

By: Elyse Ganss

Parental alienation syndrome occurs when a child’s parent unconsciously works to turn the child against the other parent. This commonly occurs during divorce or custody battles. When saying negative things about the other parent, like blaming the other parent for their breakup, alienation turns the child against the other parent. Strategies can include brainwashing, alienating, and programming to cause distance between a child and parent. This behavior has negative effects for the relationship of the child and the other parent and can cause permanent damage.

The parent who unconsciously tries to turn the child against the other parent often exhibits narcissistic characteristics or tendencies in line with borderline personality disorder and are more concerned with their own feelings rather than the child’s well-being. Feelings that may be driving the parent’s behavior are anger and jealousy. Children benefit from the presence of both parents, unless a parent is abusive, and through parental alienation syndrome, children may become estranged from a parent.

If you have been experiencing anger about your co-parenting relationship and have been consciously or unconsciously taking it out on your child, you may be causing parental alienation syndrome. Children being alienated may experience anger, feelings of neglect, exhibit destructive behavior, and lack empathy. It is important to remember that no matter what you are feeling toward your former spouse, your child should not be brought into your separation, divorce, or custody battle. Supporting a child is the most important thing to do during a breakup and it may be helpful to bring the child to therapy to work through their emotions to prevent psychological damage.

If you or someone you know needs support, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201802/parental-alienation-syndrome-what-is-it-and-who-does-it

https://www.healthline.com/health/childrens-health/parental-alienation-syndrome#effects-on-child

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https://www.healthline.com/health/childrens-health/parental-alienation-syndrome

COVID-19: Divorce Rates

COVID-19: Divorce Rates

By: Alexa Greenbaum

Quarantined married couples are causing an increase in divorce rates during the coronavirus crisis. While accesses to courts are limited at this time, many professionals believe that there will be a rush to the courthouse when operations resume. For example, New York divorce attorney Marcy Katz stated, “when restrictions are lifted, I do not doubt that there will be an overwhelming number of filings.” This has been consistent with recent data. According to reports from a multitude of cities, husbands and wives have begun filing for divorce since emerging from government-mandated lockdowns.  

People, including spouses, are not accustomed to spending so much one-on-one time together. Through daily struggles, increases in fear, poor coping skills, and emotional and financial stress, these factors can take a toll on marriages, increase tensions, and ultimately negatively affect a relationship. Katz has also suggested that increases in divorce rates may also be because people are coming to terms with their mortality and want to make positive changes in their lives. Higher rates of domestic violence have also been reported from numerous sources during this time, which she explained is an additional component in many relationship breakups. This is because this time of uncertainty is causing conditions such as extreme stress and threaten the status quo, therefore encouraging many to make major life-changing decisions.

In response to an increase in divorce predictions, the AAML is conducting a nationwide survey to yield figures on just how widespread the lockdown breakdown of marriages.

If you or someone you know is experiencing conflict with their partner from COVID-19 or another crisis, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources:

https://abcnews.go.com/US/surge-divorces-anticipated-wake-covid-19-quarantine/story?id=70170902

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-31/divorces-spike-in-china-after-coronavirus-quarantines

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/singletons/202004/more-babies-or-more-divorces-after-covid-19

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https://lawlawfirm.com/rising-divorce-rates-during-the-coronavirus

COVID-19: Co-Parenting in a Stressful Time

COVID-19: Co-Parenting in a Stressful Time

By: Alexa Greenbaum

Co-parenting is challenging even during normal times. The crisis of COVID-19 can add to the stress of co-parenting. There are many aspects that make co-parenting even more difficult now than before. Some parents may have to work longer hours during the pandemic, whereas others may have reduced hours and are therefore struggling with finances; these are just a few extra stressors that parents are facing during this pandemic. Adding to the difficulty, different states handle custody arrangements differently, which adds confusion to the process.

Regarding custody, parents have to work together to ensure the safety of their children. Unlike before the pandemic, if they do not see eye to eye, they now have limited means of settling the matter in the justice system. State Supreme Courts such as in California, Maryland, and Texas, have issued that parents should follow their court-ordered processioning schedule during COVID-19. However, there are some exceptions including the event of a “lockdown” or a “shelter in place.” In other states, such as New York, the administrative judge has ordered to “act reasonably.” This uncertainty can spark conflict between co-parents as well.

To accommodate in this challenging time, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts released a joint statement of guidelines on March 19 to help separated parents create a plan during the health crisis. The statement says, “Family law judges expect reasonable accommodations when they can be made and will take serious concerns raised in later filings about parents who are inflexible in highly unusual circumstances.” Nonetheless, the major issue that co-parents are facing, concerning their children, is that many parents are losing the ability to have daily or normal interactions with their kids.

Healthy co-parenting through COVID-19 requires parents to put aside their differences and put their children first. Parents need to know that although this time is confusing for children, kids are generally resilient. Both parents should talk to their kids, whether it be in-person, from 6-feet apart, or virtually about the pandemic. Communication during this time is the best way for a child to have a sense of normality. Thus, this is a time for parents to embrace technology and do their best to work together as co-parents.

Kids are feeling overwhelmed too. Therefore, as a co-parent, focus on doing everything they can do to emotionally support their kids. Reassuring their child that we will get through this, that some changes are only temporary, and most importantly, they are loved is the best way to be there for their child during this time.

If you or someone you know is looking for support, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources:

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/articles/2020-04-27/americans-struggle-with-co-parenting-during-covid-19

https://www.paleyrothman.com/legal-blog/co-parenting-during-covid-a-practical-guide

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/Co-Parenting-through-COVID-19.aspx

https://www.thecenterforfamilylaw.com/afcc-aaml

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https://nyulangone.org/news/divorce-co-parenting-covid-19-challenges-opportunities

The Effects of Divorce on Children

By: Estephani Diaz 

In today’s world, about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. But what about the children? Whether the break up is about money, infidelity, or other causes, divorces have an effect on children no matter how old they are.

In most situations, children blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. They believe that it is their fault, and many times attempt to get mom and dad back together. Other times, children get emotional, confused, and/or angry. They might cry themselves to sleep or misbehave for attention. Also, they might put the blame on one parent causing them to pick sides. Children might believe that their parents don’t love them anymore or will stop loving them.

The child’s living situation changes completely as well. They have to adjust to spending time with one parent one day and the other parent the next day. After a divorce, the child now has two homes to consider home. The new lifestyle can confuse a child completely.

If you or someone you know is going through a divorce, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Couples Counseling: The Benefits

By Stephanie Osuba

According to PsychCentral.com, there are many reasons why people chose to participate in couples therapy, as well as many reasons they don’t. The common reason couples usually don’t consider counseling is out of embarrassment or the stigma that surrounds the intimate details of one’s personal relationship. The stigma dictates that only people who are in a very broken state in their relationship can benefit from couples counseling. However, no relationship is perfect and sometimes even the most socially competent of us need the help of a professional. Psychologists can help couples identify key problems in the relationship in a structured way that acknowledges the feelings of both parties. Although it’s never easy to reopen past wounds, it is the only way to push through to a place of understanding with a partner. Sessions can also determine whether the relationship needs some fine-tuning, a complete rebuilding, or a separation of ways.

Here are some benefits of couples counseling:

  • Improved communication skills
  • Increase in emotional and physical connection
  • Life plan development
  • Resolving conflicts in a structured way
  • Building a healthy relationship ­– ultimately leading to individual growth as well

Common issues couples hope to resolve in therapy: infidelity, poor communication, financial issues, parenting or co-parenting, work and career, emotional and physical intimacy, separation or divorce, abuse, grief and loss, and life transitions.

If you or someone you know appears to be having marital problems, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/