By Crystal Tsui

Persuasion is the action or fact of convincing someone to do or believe something. It is used every day by individuals and even big corporations, whether it’s big adverts or a friend trying to get you to go see a concert with them. Persuasion and deception are often blurred; however, deception is the intent to “trick” someone into doing or believing something.

Some ways people persuade others are:

  • The authority bias: influenced by opinion or actions of people in a position of power.
  • Social proof: decide on how to behave by looking to what others are doing
  • Door-in-the-face technique: persuader begins with a large request and they will expect to be rejected. The persuader will ask for a smaller request (their intended goal) and rely on guilt for the victim to accept

Persuasion is used daily even if you are not aware of it. Adverts and sales people use persuasion for their job. However, you are the one doing the persuading and want to improve your skills; all you have to do is listen. Listening to the other person and always be on their side is the most important aspect of persuasion. Here are other ways to improve your persuading techniques:

  1. Be open to the recipient of the person you are trying to persuade. You want them to be relaxed
  2. Mirror their response. This gives the impression that their viewpoint has been fully received
  3. Understand their viewpoint on the subject
  4. Like the previous step, be more agreeable. People like agreeable people and they will be more willing to be accepting.
  5. Don’t use the word “but.” It negates all the previous effort on trying to be agreeable and open to their viewpoint.



Lies, Lies, Lies

Lies, Lies, Lies

By Crystal Tsui

Lying is something that we are predisposed to do from the time we are born. Infants cry sometimes for no reason at all except for attention. Caregivers would see if the infant wants to eat or have its diaper changed, but in most cases, infants only want to get the caregiver’s attention. That is the earliest form of a lie and we don’t even recognize it.

As adults, we lie all the time and it’s usually conscious. If we want to get out of doing something, we lie to get ourselves out of the situation. For example, if we want to get out of going to work, we would make something up like we’re sick or our stomachs hurt. We also lie with friends and colleagues too. If we were asked “does this outfit make me look fat,” we would likely to say “no” in order for the other person to feel better and to keep the peace.

In the Merriam Webster Dictionary, lying is defined as “to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive.” However, when we speak, we can omit certain information that leaves the recipient an impression of something other than what we intended.

So, what constitutes a lie?

  • A statement must be made
  • The statement must be untrue or an inaccurate description of reality
  • Speaker has the intention to deceive
  • The recipient believes the false statement to be true

Types of people who lie the most are:

  • Psychopaths
  • Sociopaths
  • Young adults
  • Narcissists
  • Extroverts
  • Salesman

Although you may spot these people in your life, consider why they may be lying before making assumptions about the person.

If you or someone you know is a compulsive liar, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit .