Relationships: Toxic and Unhealthy

Relationships: Toxic and Unhealthy

By Toniann Seals

There are numerous signs of a toxic relationship that can help you identify the problem area. Here we focus on romantic relationships. Hopefully these signs will help anyone reading come to the realization that they may be in an unhealthy relationship and know there is a way out.

1. Your partner never compromises:

They seem to disregard your opinion or not allow your input in decision making as a couple.

2. Your partner is overly competitive:

They always try to go one step ahead of you to become more successful or they do not celebrate your accomplishments out of jealousy.

3. You are uncomfortable being yourself:

They make you feel like you have to act differently in front of them and throw away your old self.

4. Bullying is involved:

They embarrass you in front of your peers, tell you that you are never going to be good enough, or yell and fight anytime they are unhappy with you.

5. Your partner isolates you from family and friends:

They convince you that your family and/or friends are bad for you, feed you lies about them, or do not allow any interaction outside of the relationship.

6. Jealousy

They check your phone, track your location, and question your relationships with other people.

Although ending a toxic or abusive relationship is sometimes hard, it is necessary. Take note of these types of relationships and never settle for something that causes discomfort or unhappiness. Seek help when needed whether it is from friends and family or a professional.

If you or someone you know is suffering in an unhealthy relationship, contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources:

https://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20976691,00.html?slide=117654#117654

(Image) https://www.wilsoncc.edu/domestic-violence-awareness-event/love-shouldnt-hurt-thumb-72/

Anxiety: Test Taking

Anxiety: Test Taking

By Toniann Seals

Many students are exceptional in class, but find themselves below average on tests (both in class and standardized). How can the student who is continuously participating, going to extra tutoring sessions and always asking questions failing tests? There is a chance they are suffering from test taking anxiety.

Symptoms of test anxiety

While testing:

  • Shaking
  • Nausea
  • Forgetfulness
  • Hot flashes

Effects of test anxiety

  • Feelings of not being good enough
  • Feeling as though you are a failure
  • Negative thoughts
  • Lack of self esteem

Overcoming test anxiety is something that can be handled with a professional, however there are ways you can help yourself in the meantime.

Coping mechanisms

  • Begin studying early so you feel more confident and less anxious
  • Have open communication with your teacher so they understand what you are going through
  • Get enough sleep the night before
  • Meditation can help anxiety
  • Create affirmations and positive thoughts where you picture yourself doing well

If you or someone you know is dealing with anxiety speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Source:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/generalized-anxiety-disorder/expert-answers/test-anxiety/faq-20058195

(Image) https://www.psycom.net/test-anxiety-quiz-assessment/

Social Anxiety: Phone Calls

Social Anxiety: Phone Calls

By Toniann Seals

Does calling a restaurant to order food make you sick to your stomach? Do you have a fear of jobs whose expectations include answering phones? There is a good chance that you may have some form of social anxiety in relation to phone call phobias.

While you are on the phone do you:

  • Shake?
  • Feel your heart racing?
  • Feel anxious?

Ways to handle a call and address issues when you suffer from social anxiety disorder:

  • Practice your call in a mirror
    • Talk to yourself before you talk to someone else.
  • Write a script
    • It is okay to have exactly what you want to say right in front of you. This can alleviate your social anxiety.
  • Post it notes
    • If you are doing a phone interview or at work, write a cheat sheet with common phone numbers, email addresses, resume details and facts that will come up frequently.
  • Speak slowly and calmly
    • Remind yourself that you do not need to rush. Take your time!
  • Let an incoming call go to voicemail
    • Voicemail is an option for a reason. If you are feeling exceptionally worried, take a moment and let it go to voicemail. You can always call back when you are ready.

If you or someone you know suffers from social anxiety speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/afraid-making-phone-calls-tips-3024317

(Image) https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2016/04/the-life-and-death-of-the-prank-phone-call/476340/

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

By: Erika Dino

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

What are the winter blues? During the winter, a portion of individuals start to become aware of their feelings of sadness or hopelessness, which can lead them to being unable to function in their daily lives. Seasonal affective disorder is a depression that occurs during particiular season. Not only can it happen in the winter, but during the summer as well. Most common ages for SAD to happen involve the ages 20 to 50.

Symptoms:

  • Feelings of depression
  • Craving more hours of sleep due to reduced energy
  • Weight gain
  • Feeling drowsy

Is there a treatment?

  • Medication
  • Psychotherapy
  • Maintaining a regular schedule
  • Exercising
  • Exposure to light (light therapy)
  • Healthy number hours of sleep

Seasonal Affective Disorder is more common in women. According to John M. Grohol, “With a little effort, the winter blues can be beaten.” Psychotherapy can help as a mental health professional can evaluate you and ask about your behavioral patterns. Talking about your feelings and emotions can help because identifying your negative thoughts can lead to learning positive approaches to change the winter blues feelings. Make your lifestyle brighter.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20364722

https://psychcentral.com/lib/seasonal-affective-disorder/

Image: https://comps.canstockphoto.com/seasonal-affective-disorder-drawing_cp11824144.jpg

If you or someone you know is suffering from seasonal affective disorder please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to speak with our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists to get a free phone consultation at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Bulimia Nervosa-Learning About Eating Disorders

By: Erika Dino

Bulimia Nervosa

Bulimia Nervosa is an eating disorder that leads you to eating an unusual large amount of food in a repetitive matter. After you do this, there is a behavior done such as vomiting or fasting due to the fact that eating large amounts of food makes you purge secretly. Purging also involves taking laxatives or excessive exercising. Individuals who have Bulimia Nervosa want to lose weight, or are often feeling fear towards gaining weight. They aren’t happy with their weight, because they have feelings of shame. They binge eat, and then purge, usually a few times a week.

Usually this is coexisting with another psychological illness. Examples of this can be anxiety or depression. Bulimia can be caused by stress, dieting, or mixed emotions that can make you feel uncomfortable. Traumatic life events and genetics can also have a part in bulimia nervosa.

Symptoms:

▪Dehydration

▪Laxative abuse causing irritation

▪Inflamed throat

▪ Dental problems

Treatment

▪Psychotherapy

▪Prescribed Medication

▪Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

We can help. We can make the difference. You are a strong individual and there is no reason to doubt it. We will work together, and we will get the best results.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bulimia-nervosa

Eating Disorders- National Institute of Mental Health

Image: https://comps.canstockphoto.com/bullimia-nervosa-drawing_csp11371809.jpg

If you or someone you know appears to be suffering from Bulimia Nervosa, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sleep Difficulties? Here are 5 questions that will Help You Figure Out Why.

By Sally Santos

We all have gone through this. We have had a long day and we can’t wait to get in to bed to rest. But the moment you rest your head on the pillow you find yourself wide awake and staring at the ceiling. So then you ask yourself “why can’t I fall asleep?” Consider these 5 questions:

Do you take your phone to bed?

  • We spend all day with our phones tending to every notification that we receive. That can become a habit. So when you bring your phone to bed and you see your phones light up you are going to want to see what it is. So every night before you go to bed try to keep your phone away from your bed or at least set it on Do Not Disturb Mode. This ensures that your phone won’t ring for every notification

How much caffeine are you drinking?

  • If you are someone who consumes a lot of caffeine during the day and find yourself not being able to sleep at night consider consuming less caffeine or stop completely.

What do you do during the evening?

  • Avoid having a late meal. If you eat right before you go to bed that might keep you awake because your body is working on digesting your food.
  • If you are someone who works out try working out earlier because after you work out you may have increased energy and that may prevent you from sleeping at night.
  • If possible try avoiding difficult conversations before bed.

How are you using your bed?

  • If you are someone who works or studies in bed, you may be confusing your body. Instead of your body associating your bed as a place for rest it is associating it as a place of work.

Is there something specific that you are worried about?

  • Maybe you are going through a stressful situation and the thought of it is keeping you up at night. Try learning a relaxation method such as breathing gently or meditation.
  • If the situation is serious seek professional help you problem-solve the situation. You might be helped by relaxation techniques, hypnosis or sleep medication.

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prescriptions-life/201901/how-calm-your-racing-mind-so-you-can-sleep

Image:

https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/no-sleep

If you or someone you know is having sleep issues, speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Tourette Syndrome

By: Dianna Gomez

Tourette Syndrome is a type of tic disorder. A tic can be classified as an involuntary, repetitive movement or vocalization. Those diagnosed with this disorder will either suffer from vocal/phonic tics or motor tics. In general, vocal/phonic tics produce a sound. Examples of vocal/phonic tics include things such as sniffing, throat clearing, grunting, and shouting. Examples of more complex vocal/phonic tics include full words or phrases. These words or phrases are always out of context and may or may not be recognizable. In 10-15% of cases, words blurted out may be inappropriate such as curse words, ethnic slurs, or other words or phrases that are not viewed as socially acceptable.

Motor tics, generally, are movements. Examples of motor tics include eye blinking, shoulder shrugging, head jerking/bobbing, facial grimacing, etc. More complex motor tics include movements that involve multiple muscle groups at once. Examples of these movements are things such as hopping, jumping, twirling, etc.

While the exact cause of Tourette Syndrome is unknown, it has been confirmed that it is hereditary so genetics may play a role. There are, however, some treatment options that are available to help ease the symptoms. Medications for tics include Haloperidol, Pimozide, and Aripiprazole. Speech therapy is also another form of treatment for those with tics. Lastly, Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) is another method of treatment for tics. DBS is a relatively new procedure that utilizes an implantable electrode to alter the activity of brain circuitry.

If you or someone you know is suffering from Tourette Syndrome, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can help you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201)-368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit us at https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Bipolar Disorder

By: Dianna Gomez

Bipolar Disorder, also known as “Manic-Depressive,” is a disorder of the brain that causes a person to experience sudden shifts in mood, energy/activity levels, and disrupts their ability to function fully each day. The changes in mood range from a person feeling extremely “up” and energized which are known as manic episodes to feeling extremely “down” and sad which is known as depressive episodes. There are multiple forms of Bipolar Disorder, however, the two main types of the disorder are Bipolar I and Bipolar II. Regardless of the type a person has, he or she still suffers from very similar symptoms. Bipolar I Disorder is defined by manic episodes/symptoms that are either so severe the individual needs to be hospitalized immediately or the episode itself has lasted for at least 7 days. Depressive episodes occur in people with this type of Bipolar as well and these episodes can last up to at least 2 weeks at a time. Bipolar II Disorder is defined by a certain pattern of depressive episodes followed by some hypo-manic episodes. The only difference between manic and hypo-manic is that hypo-manic episodes are not as intense as full on manic ones. More specifically, when a person is having a manic episode they can experience the following symptoms:

  • Feeling “jumpy” or “weird”
  • Having trouble sleeping
  • Talk really fast about a lot of different things
  • Racing thoughts
  • Participating in risky behaviors (ex: spending all your money)

On the other hand, when a person is going through a depressive episode, he or she can experience the following symptoms:

  • Sleeping too much or not enough
  • Not being able to enjoy things
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Eating too much or not enough
  • Thinking about death and/or suicide

Luckily, there are several forms of treatment that a person suffering from Bipolar Disorder can seek out to help them live a more normal and stable lifestyle. Methods of treatment include: medications (mood stabilizers, sleep medications, antidepressants, and atypical anti-psychotics), psychotherapy (cognitive behavioral therapy, family-focused therapy, and interpersonal therapy), or a combination of both. Even while taking medications some mood swings may still occur. This makes it especially important that there is a close and honest patient-doctor relationship in order to manage the disorder in the most efficient way possible. In addition to these, there is also electroconvulsive therapy or “ECT,” and keeping a lifestyle chart. When keeping the lifestyle chart, the patient records their daily symptoms, sleep patterns, and other important life events.

 

If you or anyone you know may suffer from either Bipolar I Disorder or Bipolar II Disorder, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit us at http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Panic Attacks and Anxiety

By: Dianna Gomez

Panic. Worry. Fear. Helplessness. What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling like this? Why is my heart beating out of my chest? Am I dying? Why can’t I make it stop?!

For some of us, these emotions are all too familiar. Anxiety can be a scary thing, especially when you’re not totally up-to-date on what exactly it is. What are you to do when you feel like your whole world is crashing down around you and there’s nothing you can do to stop it? Well, have no fear because I have a few helpful tips to share!

 

Here are 5 things that you can do to calm yourself down when suffering from an anxiety attack:

  • Take Deep Breathes

Inhale. Exhale. Tell yourself that although it may not feel like it right now, everything will be okay.

  •  Talk Yourself Down

Repeat a calming/kind phrase to yourself OUT LOUD. Remind yourself that you are safe, loved, and never alone.

  • Seek Help

Sometimes we tend to insist that we can get through tough times all on our own, but there is no shame in asking for help. Whether it be a neutral professional, a loved one or someone you trust, find someone with whom you can talk out your troubles.

  • Use Music and Visuals

Never underestimate the power of calming music and visuals. Whether it be classical music, peaceful nature videos/sounds, or your favorite John Mayer song – let the music play and your worries float away!

  • Put Your Anxiety on Ice

Create sensory stimulation by gently sticking both of your hands into a bowl of very cold water with ice. The more ice the better.

 

If either you or anybody you know suffers from anxiety, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can help you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201)-368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit us at https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

 

 

 

 

Communication Differences Between Genders

 

By: Dianna Gomez

Where would the world be without communication? Whether it be conscious or unconscious, we communicate in one way or another with those around us every minute of every day. We communicate in the work place, in relationships, with our friends and family – sometimes even when passing by strangers walking down the street. You would think that with the amount of communicating we do as a human species on a daily basis, we would have it all down to a “ T ” by now but that is far from the truth. Every once in a while we experience miscommunication and other frustrations related to interacting with the people around us. In order to improve the quality of communication in one’s own life, it is important to begin by understanding the different methods of communication between each gender. There are so many fundamental differences regarding the way in which men and women behave and think when it comes to communication. On average, women tend to speak more than men and when each gender is communicating, they do so for different reasons and from different perspectives.

Here is a list of these differences:

  1. Reasons For Talking
  • Men believe that communication should always have a clear purpose. Whether there is a problem in need of a solution or a specific question needing an answer, men use communication to get to the bottom of any topic of conversation in the most efficient way possible. On the other hand, a woman views communication as a way to discover how she may feel about something. Women like to lay all the potential pros and cons out on the table and discuss each more thoroughly. When it comes to relationships, communication is a way in which women increase intimacy with their significant others. They share their thoughts to rid themselves of any negative feelings they may be having.

2. How Much Should Be Said

  • Similarly to the first point, men always put productivity and efficiency at the very top of their lists. When telling a story, men only share the details that are absolutely necessary to get to the point. Women tend to share as much detail as possible, even if it isn’t necessarily needed. This is often times why men may interrupt women half way through an explanation when they have already received the point that is ultimately trying to be made.

3. What Does It Mean To “Listen?

  • When a woman first initiates a conversation with a man, she assumes they are doing so to obtain some type of advice or assistance. They automatically think to themselves “what can we actually do about this?” From the woman’s perspective, having the conversation all on it’s own is a way of finding a solution to any problem. Women just want to feel like they are being heard and understood, and if they feel this is happening any problem will already feel partially solved.

Communication is so important in every aspect of our lives. Especially when it comes to having relationships with significant others, if these fundamental differences aren’t already understood, there will be many disagreements and arguments about things that there wouldn’t be otherwise. Regardless of what gender you are, the next time you find yourself feeling frustrated when communicating with the opposite sex, take a step back and try to see the situation from their point of view. If this is done over a long enough period of time, you will find that life will soon go a lot smoother in all areas of your life.

 

If you or anybody you know may be having trouble with communication or may be having relationship problems they can’t seem to resolve, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit us at http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.