Personality

Am I Too Sensitive?

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Am I Too Sensitive? 

Am I Too Sensitive?

By: Julia Keys

Has anyone ever said to you in passing, “you’re so sensitive”? Our society seems to shun sensitivity without truly understanding or appreciating it. Stereotypically, a “sensitive person” is portrayed as irrationally emotional or ready to cry at any moment. In reality, sensitivity is defined by psychologists as the amount someone reacts physically, emotionally, or mentally to external and internal stimuli. Researchers have actually coined a term for someone you may describe as “sensitive”: the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

Highly Sensitive People, (HSP), process their external and internal environments with more attention than typical people. About 20% of the population are estimated to be an HSP. Some evolutionary psychologists suggest that HSP evolved from people that needed to be hyper vigilant in their environments to survive. Nowadays, we do not need as much extra attention to survive, but HSP are still affected by their high level of sensitivity.

It is easy to think that HSP and introversion are interchangeable traits, however there are some key differences between the two that are important to understand. HSP are not always introverts, they may like being around other people, but certain social environments can be overwhelming to their senses. Also, introversion refers to one’s preference for spending time alone versus spending time with others while sensitivity is how one processes sensory input. Although some HSP are introverted, there are definitely a fair amount that are extroverted as well.

Signs of a Highly Sensitive Person

  • Easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby
  • Gets more anxious than typical people when there a lot to do in a short amount of time
  • Easily disturbed by violence or graphic images
  • Feels the need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where they can have relief from overstimulating environments
  • Makes it a high priority to arrange their life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations
  •  Notices or enjoys delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art
  • Has a rich and complex inner life
  • Was shy or sensitive as a small child

Being an HSP can sometimes cause distress. HSP can have feelings of anxiety or stress when they are in environments that are overstimulating. Certain environments that may be enjoyable for neurotypical people such as parties, outside markets, or concerts may present too much sensory input for an HSP to enjoy. As a result, some HSP may struggle with isolation or loneliness.

On the other hand, the Highly Sensitive Person can also benefit from their heightened sensitivities to stimuli. HSP tend to be observant and perceptive, picking up on small details that others would not. As a result, many HSP are highly creative and innovative. HSP are also naturally empathetic, making them sensitive to others’ emotions and needs. HSP that balance their attention between a healthy internal and external environment reach their highest potential.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the stress being a HSP may bring, and are seeking stress management, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

 

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/live-life-creatively/201906/the-creative-power-the-highly-sensitive-person

https://hsperson.com/

Source for Picture:

https://www.google.com/search?q=ripple+in+a+lake&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwibsYD2ztDiAhXymOAKHRgYCNoQ_AUIECgB&biw=1280&bih=561#imgrc=q1KPhEKi3gC5dM:

Bulimia Nervosa

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Bulimia Nervosa

By: Lauren Hernandez

Bulimia Nervosa is an eating disorder known for episodes of out of control eating and subsequent self-induced methods of purging in order to prevent weight gain. Binging is considered an irresistible compulsion and on average happens about once a week, but can also occur several times a week. Bulimia is most common in women and typically begins in their teens to early 20s. The cultural obsession with a perfect body image, fueled by social media models with unattainable body “goals”, is harmful to young people’s self-esteem and body image. Social media perpetuates a cultural and social expectation of women needing to be thin in order to be beautiful, and this negatively impacts our younger generations.

Signs of Bulimia include:

  • Yellow teeth, erosion of dental enamel
  • Gastrointestinal problems
  • Unexpected weight gain
  • Hair loss
  • Lack of bowel movements
  • Lack of energy
  • Dehydration
  • Red, blistered, or scabbed knuckles

Some typical purging methods include:

  • Vomiting
  • Taking laxatives or diuretics
  • Excessive exercise

Some typical restrictive eating symptoms include:

  • Fasting
  • Disordered Eating

Research has shown that people with Bulimia Nervosa have comorbid mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, or substance use disorder. Bulimia is also related to personality disorders which effect one’s social, personal, behavioral, and emotional interactions. Bulimia is best treated through a primary care physician, a nutritionist, and a mental health clinician. Cognitive behavioral therapy as well as antidepressants are extremely helpful for those recovering from Bulimia. It is important that schools address eating disorders at an early age in order to educate and bring awareness to young people.

 

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inside-out-outside-in/201703/what-is-bulimia-nervosa

Image source: https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&id=3DDA12C2C015D07EED4E8521F677C3692EB5A34B&thid=OIP.5ljFRAgr8tpAQ_TSuNjlVgHaE7&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.seasonsmedical.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FBulimia-Nervosa-100.jpg&exph=524&expw=788&q=bulimia+nervosa&selectedindex=53&ajaxhist=0&vt=0&eim=1,2,6

Lies, Lies, Lies

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Lies, Lies, Lies

By Crystal Tsui

Lying is something that we are predisposed to do from the time we are born. Infants cry sometimes for no reason at all except for attention. Caregivers would see if the infant wants to eat or have its diaper changed, but in most cases, infants only want to get the caregiver’s attention. That is the earliest form of a lie and we don’t even recognize it.

As adults, we lie all the time and it’s usually conscious. If we want to get out of doing something, we lie to get ourselves out of the situation. For example, if we want to get out of going to work, we would make something up like we’re sick or our stomachs hurt. We also lie with friends and colleagues too. If we were asked “does this outfit make me look fat,” we would likely to say “no” in order for the other person to feel better and to keep the peace.

In the Merriam Webster Dictionary, lying is defined as “to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive.” However, when we speak, we can omit certain information that leaves the recipient an impression of something other than what we intended.

So, what constitutes a lie?

  • A statement must be made
  • The statement must be untrue or an inaccurate description of reality
  • Speaker has the intention to deceive
  • The recipient believes the false statement to be true

Types of people who lie the most are:

  • Psychopaths
  • Sociopaths
  • Young adults
  • Narcissists
  • Extroverts
  • Salesman

Although you may spot these people in your life, consider why they may be lying before making assumptions about the person.

If you or someone you know is a compulsive liar, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Citations:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-nature-deception/201905/what-is-lie

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/the-truth-about-lying

https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/lying-definition/

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwiNh_WBuariAhXhRt8KHV97CZIQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.porticomagazine.ca%2F2015%2F10%2Flying-to-get-the-job%2F&psig=AOvVaw3au372DVa_mkb1rB9lTS66&ust=1558453235267372

Jealousy- A Universal Emotion

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By: Erika Dino

What is the level of jealousy a spouse can reach? Why do humans get jealous?

When it comes to jealousy in a relationship or marriage, everyone has a different opinion on what is right or wrong. Some believe jealousy springs from a lack of trust. Others think that jealousy comes from insecure people. This is not true. Jealousy can simply be a disagreement between two people who have a different perspective towards the issue. On Psychology today, it states how you should wait to see a pattern to comment about an incident, so it doesn’t seem like everything is being picked on. Speaking in a non-aggressive manner can help your feelings be louder. Jealousy can lead to violence or obsession.

Remember to never cheat to punish your partner. Focus on your present, not your past. Jealousy can be within friendships, relationships, siblings, coworkers, almost anyone. Sometimes, jealousy is a feeling of uncertainty and threat. There is often a sense of competition. You need to be compassionate with yourself and understand that you are a terrific person. Be confident and remember that you’re worth it. Control the feeling and try to minimize accusations. Some jealous conflicts end a relationship. The feelings of anger, anxiety and worry drive someone to make decisions they aren’t sure about. Jealousy is a universal emotion.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/shakespeares-love-lessons/201811/when-is-jealousy-unhealthy-three-signs-Shakespeare

If you or someone you know seems to be having severe feelings of jealousy, call the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&id=5CE04D0FBFEC2E42C78553A1D1BE6B36AA557A69&thid=OIP.C4VWPGU1rfQEOZhsOiyBhwHaE9&exph=857&expw=1280&q=jealousy+images&selectedindex=0&cbir=sbi&ajaxhist=0&vt=0&eim=1,2,6

 

Effects of Sexual Assault

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Effects of Sexual Assault

By Toniann Seals

Sexual assault is a tragedy that unfortunately happens to many victims. Statistics say that, “in the U.S., one in three women and one in six men experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime.” This number is far too high and the reality is that despite the movements created to end it, it continues to have a large impact on many people’s lives.

Facts:

  • “91% of victims of rape and sexual assault are female, and nine percent are male.”
  • “The lifetime cost of rape per victim is $122,461.”
  • “81% of women and 35% of men report significant short- or long-term impacts such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).”

Sexual assault affects both the victim and their family. A few of the mental health issues that the victims could develop are anxiety, depression, obsessive thoughts and paranoia. If sexual assault has affected your life, it is important to remember that it is never the victim’s fault and there are people here to help.

If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual assault speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources:

Click to access NISVS-StateReportBook.pdf

Click to access rsarp00.pdf

Click to access NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf

Click to access nsvrc_talking-points_lifetime-economic-burden_0.pdf

Image:

https://www.indiatoday.in/technology/features/story/hashtag-metoo-trending-on-twitter-facebook-what-is-it-and-why-is-everyone-talking-about-it-1066951-2017-10-18

Video Games – Advantages and Disadvantages

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By Dara Kushnir

Ever since its creation, people have debated whether video games are a help, a hindrance, or useful in moderation. Below presents evidence from the most disputed aspects of this argument as well as additional factors to consider:

Content. Countless studies show that violence in video games diminishes empathy and exacerbates behavioral problems. After playing even 30 minutes, less activation was found in the prefrontal portion of the brain (involved in concentration, inhibition, and self-control) and more in the amygdala (emotional arousal)1. People who play violent video games may expect others to be hostile, influencing how aggressively they themselves react in the future2.
Conversely, prosocial, nonviolent video games can promote empathy and helpful behaviors, even teaching empathy3, asthma management, rehabilitating stroke patients, learning resiliency from failures4, and being a therapy tool in moderating certain phobias5. Preschool children have also shown improved motor development and cognitive behavior5.  Children who play cooperative video games display fewer emotional problems and problems with peers whereas those who play solitary games do well academically6.

Time. Despite the noteworthy benefits, it is crucial to understand that these benefits apply to those who play for less than or equal to an hour. Excessive time is linked with behavioral problems, poorer social skills, and peer conflicts. A recent study revealed that playing for less than an hour reduces ADHD symptoms, has a calming effect, and is not associated with delinquency7 8. Less than one hour of gaming strengthens motor skills and leads to higher achievement scores. However, playing more than one hour increases ADHD symptoms and lowers grades, which means the difference between a “B” and an “A” grade9.

Motivation. One . One study argues that people play video games to meet their motivational needs rather than for the content itself10. Those who are more aggressive play violent video games rather than cause aggression. Violent video games were not associated with aggressive behavior. Those who play for enjoyment or catharsis (releasing anger) play violent video games, although it is unclear if playing actually helps. The researchers suggested that people seek out video games to meet their motivational needs rather than the violent content itself. More research is still needed.

Personality. People with certain personality traits can be predisposed to aggression after playing violent video games. One study states that the “perfect storm” of personality traits using the Five-Factor Model is high neuroticism (easily upset and angry), low agreeableness (little concern for others and their feelings), and low conscientiousness (act without thinking)11. These traits make individuals more susceptible to violent games and media.

Player abilities. Another study argues that regardless of video games’ content, frustration from failing sparks aggression12. When a person’s competency or ego is questioned, through a challenging game or failing to master the controls, they enjoy the game less and react with more aggression. This reaction is not limited to video games; people react with frustrated aggression playing sports and other activities, especially if they lose or play poorly.

 

Source:
(image) http://guides.library.ucla.edu/videogames
All articles are sourced in text.

If you or someone you know appears to be suffering from a video game addiction, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Self-Esteem and Shaming Parents

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By Stephanie Osuba

We have all felt, in one way or another, like we weren’t good enough or even felt embarrassed after making a mistake at work. This is healthy in that we are expressing sadness or just reflecting on a situation that could have been handled differently, but we move on and eventually feel valued and confident again. However, for some, that feeling of shame and guilt never goes away. Some believe they are inherently flawed, worthless, and inferior to everyone else. These negative emotions and lack of self-esteem are largely rooted in repeated childhood and adolescence trauma that is often left unprocessed. Internalization of this emotional abuse leads to a conditioning of sort, usually by the primary caregiver, that the negative emotions constantly felt reflect who one is as a person. This person comes to genuinely believe that he or she is a bad person, unlovable, never good enough, and deserves to be treated with disrespect.

The constant shame is also accompanied by a constant feeling of guilt. Everything is his or her fault, regardless of the context. There is a sense of unjust responsibility for other people’s emotions and the outcome of all situations. Its no wonder why low self-esteem can manifest itself in anxiety, self-harm or poor self-care, or on the other extreme, narcissism and antisocial tendencies. Here are some behaviors that can be a manifestation of low self-esteem:

  • Lack of healthy self-love: poor self-care, self-harm, lack of empathy, and inadequate social skills
  • Emptiness: loneliness, lack of motivation, and finding distractions from emotions
  • Perfectionism: this is often a behavior that manifests as adults because of the unrealistic standards these children were held to by their parents and were punished for not meeting
  • Narcissism: grandiose fantasies of who they want others to perceive them to be; even if they do succeed however, this protective personality doesn’t numb the negative emotions they truly feel.
  • Unhealthy relationships: people with low self-esteem are incapable of building and maintaining a relationship with others, largely because they don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. Both parties are usually extremely dependent.
  • Susceptibility to manipulation: the constant self-doubt, shame and guilt make it too easy to bend a person with low self-esteem to an experienced manipulator’s will.

Source: Cikanavicius, D. (2018, September 03). A Brief Guide to Unprocessed Childhood Toxic Shame. Retrieved from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/psychology-self/2018/09/childhood-toxic-shame/ 

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-esteem, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Self-esteem

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By: Charleene Polanco

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt that, “you weren’t good enough?” If you have, self-esteem is at the core of this feeling, because it involves perceptions one has of oneself. These perceptions eventually become beliefs about self-worth and value. That is why self-esteem is so important in a person’s life, because how people think of themselves, is what drives them towards or away from certain actions. High self-esteem is often associated with multiple accomplishments in life. This is because people with high self-esteem, believe that they are worthy of the opportunities they get, and, therefore, make the most out of them. One the other hand, those with low self-esteem, constantly believe that they are not good enough. When an opportunity presents itself to them, people with low self-esteem feel like they do not deserve it, and do not perform their best. This is why low self-esteem is associated with depression and anxiety. If you are suffering from low self-esteem, here are a couple of tips available to raise self-esteem:

  • Identify triggers of low self-esteem: if you are able to recognize the places or people that lower your self-esteem, you are able to avoid or prepare for them. This way, learning experiences come from each event.
  • Avoid negative self-talk: if you do not think negatively about yourself, you are able to feel better and attempt things you would normally avoid.
  • Connect with loved ones: family members and friends can be great emotional support because people who care about you, will also make you feel loved and wanted. Nurture these feelings so that eventually you are able to see yourself as they do, and will slowly learn how to love yourself a little more each day.

If you or someone you know is suffering from low self-esteem, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources:

Gross, S. J. (2016, July 17). How To Raise Your Self-Esteem. Retrieved October 8, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-raise-your-self-esteem/

Mind for Better Mental Health. (2013). How to increase your Self-esteem. Retrieved October 8, 2018, from https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/#.W9cKgY2WyM8

 

Perfectionism: How Striving to be the Best can Leave us at our Worst

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By: Sanjita Ekhelikar

We are commonly told that no one in the world is “perfect”, and that there is no such thing as “perfection”. Or so they say. Then why do so many people around the world still try to aim for this standard of “perfect” in what they do in life?

Perfectionists are individuals who strive for flawlessness. They set very high standards and expectations for themselves, have a set way of wanting to do things, and take time to be truly satisfied with their work. Aiming for perfectionism definitely has benefits. We all know that one person from school or work who would be the “perfectionist”: they would be the most successful, put out high quality work, and constantly keep pushing boundaries so that their final products are amazing.

However, being a perfectionist has its disadvantages and dangers. Individuals who seek to be “perfect” set extremely high standards for themselves, which results in their being very critical of themselves. Perfectionists tend to notice and fixate on all of their flaws, as they wish to not only produce “perfect” work but also to be “perfect” people. Whenever a perfectionist make mistakes, as does everyone in the world, he or she is unable to look past the “failure” and thus feel extreme guilt, shame, and sadness.

Perfectionistic thinking underlies several mental illnesses, such as depression, anxiety, OCD, and eating disorders. It can even lead to suicidal thoughts. Perfectionists’ inability to accept failure, constant self-criticism, and desire to act, be, and look perfect, drives them towards unhealthy behaviors and thinking. They are constantly hard on themselves for not achieving “perfect,” which is inevitable because there is no such thing as perfect! These patterns of thinking and negative behaviors need to be monitored for the risks they present in causing mental illness.

Instead of striving for “perfection,” we should be encouraging others and ourselves to be the best versions of who we are. Remind people that there is in fact a beauty in accepting yourself and your positive attributes, and in being kind to yourself. Encourage people to accept themselves, make mistakes, and to strive to not look perfect. We should truly appreciate ourselves and accept BOTH the good and the imperfect. By addressing and changing the perfectionist way of thinking, we can better prevent, understand, and heal many mental illnesses.

If you or someone you know is suffering from any of the aforementioned symptoms, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Communication Differences Between Genders

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By: Dianna Gomez

Where would the world be without communication? Whether it be conscious or unconscious, we communicate in one way or another with those around us every minute of every day. We communicate in the work place, in relationships, with our friends and family – sometimes even when passing by strangers walking down the street. You would think that with the amount of communicating we do as a human species on a daily basis, we would have it all down to a “ T ” by now but that is far from the truth. Every once in a while we experience miscommunication and other frustrations related to interacting with the people around us. In order to improve the quality of communication in one’s own life, it is important to begin by understanding the different methods of communication between each gender. There are so many fundamental differences regarding the way in which men and women behave and think when it comes to communication. On average, women tend to speak more than men and when each gender is communicating, they do so for different reasons and from different perspectives.

Here is a list of these differences:

  1. Reasons For Talking
  • Men believe that communication should always have a clear purpose. Whether there is a problem in need of a solution or a specific question needing an answer, men use communication to get to the bottom of any topic of conversation in the most efficient way possible. On the other hand, a woman views communication as a way to discover how she may feel about something. Women like to lay all the potential pros and cons out on the table and discuss each more thoroughly. When it comes to relationships, communication is a way in which women increase intimacy with their significant others. They share their thoughts to rid themselves of any negative feelings they may be having.

2. How Much Should Be Said

  • Similarly to the first point, men always put productivity and efficiency at the very top of their lists. When telling a story, men only share the details that are absolutely necessary to get to the point. Women tend to share as much detail as possible, even if it isn’t necessarily needed. This is often times why men may interrupt women half way through an explanation when they have already received the point that is ultimately trying to be made.

3. What Does It Mean To “Listen?”

  • When a woman first initiates a conversation with a man, she assumes they are doing so to obtain some type of advice or assistance. They automatically think to themselves “what can we actually do about this?” From the woman’s perspective, having the conversation all on it’s own is a way of finding a solution to any problem. Women just want to feel like they are being heard and understood, and if they feel this is happening any problem will already feel partially solved.

Communication is so important in every aspect of our lives. Especially when it comes to having relationships with significant others, if these fundamental differences aren’t already understood, there will be many disagreements and arguments about things that there wouldn’t be otherwise. Regardless of what gender you are, the next time you find yourself feeling frustrated when communicating with the opposite sex, take a step back and try to see the situation from their point of view. If this is done over a long enough period of time, you will find that life will soon go a lot smoother in all areas of your life.

 

If you or anybody you know may be having trouble with communication or may be having relationship problems they can’t seem to resolve, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit us at http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.