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Relationships: The Impact of Attachment Styles

GalleryJudy Gurfein 1 Comment

Relationships: The Impact of Attachment Styles

Relationships: The Impact of Attachment Styles

By: Julia Keys

Did you know that the way one develops an attachment to their mother as an infant has a profound effect on their adult relationships? Attachment styles were first studied in detail by the developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth in her experiment called “the strange situation”. In the strange situation, Ainsworth had a mother and a child play together for about three minutes and then the mother left the room. Next, a stranger would enter the room and play with the child for about three minutes and then they would leave. Finally, the child’s mother would re-enter the room and resume playing with their child. Ainsworth was most interested in observing the child’s behavior when their mother re-entered the room.

Upon careful examination, Ainsworth found three distinct patterns of behavior in infants when their mothers re-entered the room. If the child was upset, but then easily soothed by their mother upon re-entry, Ainsworth deemed them as having a secure attachment style. If the child was indifferent to their mother upon re-entry, Ainsworth would label them with an insecure avoidant attachment style. Finally, if the infant shows conflicting behavior upon the mother’s re-entry such as clinginess and then subsequent rejections of affection, Ainsworth would say they had an insecure ambivalent attachment style. Insecure ambivalent children are unpredictable in terms of their parental reactivity.

Ainsworth hypothesized that children’s reactions were a result of how their parents responded to their needs. Hypothetically, infants with secure attachment styles have their basic needs met consistently by their parents. This leads the secure infant to show a healthy dependence on their parents. Infants with an insecure avoidant attachment have their needs minimally met by their parents, which leads them to be independent and self-soothing. Infants with insecure ambivalent attachment styles have their needs met inconsistently from their caregivers, which results in confusion and conflicting behaviors.

So how does this “strange situation” relate to people later on in life? Researchers have found that attachment styles follow infants into adulthood and impact their behavior in relationships. While the behavior infants exhibited in the experiment relied on whether or not basic needs such as food, water, or comfort were met, attachments styles in adults tend to manifest themselves in more complicated ways.  Secure adults tend to have healthy and satisfying relationships where they can receive and offer support as needed.  Avoidant adults seek independence in relationships and oftentimes can appear a bit callous to their own emotions. Avoidant adults aren’t likely to offer support to their partners because they rarely depend on it themselves. Finally, ambivalent adults fear being either too close or too far from their partner, causing them to feel confused by their feelings and act in unpredictable ways in the relationship.

Although attachment styles are habits that people have probably been practicing subconsciously for all their lives, they are not permanent. Individual or couples therapy can help those struggling with their own emotions or communication skills.

If you or someone you know is struggling in a relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources:

https://www.simplypsychology.org/mary-ainsworth.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship

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Depression and Logotherapy

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Depression and Logotherapy

Depression and Logotherapy

By: Julia Keys

The struggle to find the meaning of life is a classic human dilemma. One may be content with their every day activities such as going to work, spending time at home, or eating, but they might still wonder “what is my real purpose?”.  People with psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance and alcohol abuse disorders are especially prone to being plagued with this kind of existential anxiety. A study by Alimujiang, et al. (2019) found that a sense of purpose greatly improves one’s physical, mental, and emotional health as well as overall life satisfaction. There is a specific type of psychotherapy called logotherapy (logo being derived from the Greek word for meaning), that is designed to help individuals find their true purpose in life.

Logotherapy was developed by a psychologist named Victor Frankl in the 1950s. Frankl drew upon his experiences during the Holocaust to develop logotherapy. Frankl was one of the millions of people that suffered the horrors of concentration camps. While imprisoned, Frankl noticed that those who mentally and physically survived the camp, usually found meaning in their lives there. After the camps were liberated, Frankl resumed his work with neurology and psychology and subsequently developed logotherapy.

There are three main principles of logotherapy:

  • every person has a healthy core
  • internal resources are more helpful in therapy than external resources
  • while life offers you meaning or purpose, it is one’s responsibility to explore that meaning to become happy or fulfilled

Frankl suggests that there are three main ways to reap the benefits of life:

  • by creating a work or accomplishing some task
  • by experiencing something fully or loving someone fully
  • by adopting an attitude that is at peace with the unavoidable suffering life may present

Logotherapy is used to treat depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance and alcohol abuse. Logotherapy is a great choice for patients that want to find their own personal meaning of life. Focusing on one’s purpose in life can help people live their most fulfilling and happy lives.

If you or someone you know is struggling to find a meaning in life or is suffering from anxiety, PTSD, depression or substance or alcohol abuse issues, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

 

Sources:

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/logotherapy

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flourish-and-thrive/201906/the-importance-having-sense-purpose

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Eating Disorders: Disordered Eating Habits

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

Eating Disorders: Disordered Eating Habits

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Eating Disorders: Disordered Eating Habits

By: Julia Keys

Our culture is obsessed with weight, thinness, exercise, and beauty. Studies show that women under the age of 19 are particularly vulnerable to the problematic effects of social media; about 60% of girls have a desire to lose weight even though they are within the healthy weight range ( Morris & Katzman, 2003). As a result, many people have developed unhealthy ways of eating and exercising for dealing with the pressure to look a certain way. These habits can seem minor at first, but can quickly develop into an eating disorder. While disordered eating habits do not meet the clinical criteria for an eating disorder, they are still unhealthy and potentially damaging.

Signs of Disordered Eating Habits:

  • Self-worth or self-esteem based highly or even exclusively on body shape and weight
  • A disturbance in the way one experiences their body i.e. a person who falls in a healthy weight range, but continues to feel that they are overweight
  • Excessive or rigid exercise routine
  • Obsessive calorie counting
  • Anxiety about certain foods or food groups
  • A rigid approach to eating, such as only eating certain foods, inflexible meal times, refusal to eat in restaurants or outside of one’s own home

It is important to recognize the signs of disordered eating and try to eradicate them before they become potentially harmful. Clinicians advise to quit fad diets because they are extremely restrictive and often result in binge eating. Obsessive exercise focused on “fat-burning” or “calorie-burning” should also be avoided and replaced with physical activity that is more focused on enjoyment. Another tip psychologists give is to avoid weighing yourself every single day. Weight can fluctuate about 2-5 lbs. a day, so fixating on a specific number in order to be healthy isn’t helpful. If disordered eating habits suddenly get worse, or start to impact one’s daily functioning, one should seek help.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201402/disordered-eating-or-eating-disorder-what-s-the

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2792687/

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Ever Feel Like a Fraud?

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

By: Stephanie Osuba

Despite your degrees, acclaims, and accomplishments, do you ever sometimes feel like you are an imposter? That you’ve been getting lucky or that you’re a fake in your profession and one day people are going to find you out? As it turns out, you aren’t alone. Many successful people feel this way and often have to step back and remember all the things they have achieved – Maya Angelou and Albert Einstein among these people! While there is no diagnosis or even proper name for this feeling in the DSM-5, there are countless of reports of this in psychology and psychotherapy literature. In fact, the first time the term “imposter syndrome” was used was in an article in 1978 by Drs Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes who – after studying 150 educated, established, and highly respected women – found that they didn’t have an internal sense of success and found themselves to be “imposters.”

So what causes this “imposter syndrome” that befalls so many successful people? One reason could be that there is no real measure to success. There is always something more that you can do and regardless of how much success you’ve already had and you think you are content with, self-doubt can always creep in and say you haven’t done enough. Another reason could be “pluralistic ignorance,” which is believing something to be true without being able to prove or disprove it – usually involving unspoken or false beliefs about other people. For example, research has shown that all college students feel anxiety about school but the actual students think they are the only ones who feel that way and other people are having no trouble adjusting to college life. And lastly, talent can make us believe that we haven’t worked hard enough and don’t deserve the praise or success of what comes naturally to us.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201811/do-you-ever-feel-fraud 

If you or someone you know appears to be having issues with self-esteem or is suffering from anxiety, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Low Self Esteem: 7 Steps to Start Loving Yourself

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By: Sanjita Ekhelikar

Self-esteem describes the way that we evaluate and judge ourselves. It is assessed on a continuum from high to low, with unfortunately many people who fall under the category of having low self-esteem. People who feel this way about themselves do not see themselves and their views as valuable, compare themselves to others, feel worthless, and lack self-confidence.

If you or anyone you know struggles with low self-esteem, you know how difficult it can be to bear the feelings that come with it. It can be draining, can impair overall functioning, can influence social interactions, and can cause one to be withdrawn from society. Although it is not easy to cope with low self-esteem, it can be improved through steps towards accepting and loving oneself. The capacity for change comes from within yourself!

Here are 7 Steps to Begin Loving Yourself and Boost your Self-Esteem:

1. Practice saying things you like about yourself in the mirror every morning when you wake up. Start your day taking the time to compliment yourself. This will begin to come naturally the more you do it.

2. Write out a list of your accomplishments. Accomplishments as big as landing the job you wanted or as small as getting the laundry done count. The more you applaud yourself, the more you will be able to boost your confidence.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and failures. It is easy to hold onto failures and consider yourself to be a failure. Learn to accept and forgive mistakes, recognizing that everyone in the world makes them.

4. Stop comparing. Remind yourself that you are different from the people around you, and that you are not them. The more you try to compare yourself with others, the more you lose sight of who you are.

5. Spend time with the people you love. It is easy to isolate when you are not feeling your best, but surrounding yourself with the family and friends who you feel closest to can boost your happiness and make you feel good about yourself, especially seeing how happy they are to be with you.

6. But also, spend time alone. Take yourself out somewhere nice, go on a long drive alone, or even travel by yourself. Giving yourself “me-time” is important in developing a better relationship with yourself.

7. Remind yourself that no on is perfect. It is easy for us to feel bad about ourselves when we think we need to be this “perfect” person. Remember, perfect does not exist, so you should just try to be you instead.

If you or someone you know is suffering from low self-esteem, please contact our psychotherapy/psychiatry offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.