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Depression & Anxiety: Overcoming toxic positivity

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

By Veronica Oquendo

Have you ever been through a bad event, like a break-up or loss of a family member, and then have someone say “stay positive” or “everything happens for a reason?” These are both examples of toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is an attitude that focuses on staying only positive, and rejecting any negative thoughts or emotions. It is especially relevant during the pandemic, with people brushing off the negative realities of Covid-19, and say it’s “just extra time for you” or “it’ll be over before you know it.” These people are failing to recognize the emotional exhaustion Covid-19 has brought upon us, with death of loved ones, prolonged social isolation, and anxiety over health concerns. It is usually not helpful to be toxically positive, as it can be detrimental to mental health.

The individual fails to process their emotions healthily, is forced to stay quiet over their struggles, and not feel connected to others. It is important to feel a full range of emotions, including the unpleasant ones.  Toxic positivity can leave you feeling shame or guilt over your feelings. One should instead, give oneself permission to feel painful emotions and remember that your feelings are significant and valid. One can manage the negative emotions in a way that does not deny their existence.

Toxic positivity is not helpful to others going through a dilemma. People that are utilizing toxic positivity are most likely minimizing the feelings of the one going through pain for their own comfort. Telling someone “stay positive” when they are going through one of the darkest periods of their lives, invalidates their suffering. Most people need someone to show support by listening to them, without judgement or advice, and being told their feelings are valid.

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression and anxiety please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

Sources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-man-cave/201908/toxic-positivity-dont-always-look-the-bright-side

Marriage During Covid-19

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    By: Sarah Cohen

    During Coronavirus, a lot of extra strain and anxiety have been placed on marriages. While research has shown that disasters uncover strengths in relationships it can also reveal issues. Even in the best relationships, we still always need a little bit of space from each other. 

    Since Coronavirus has begun, applications for divorce have risen greatly in the Chinese city of Xi’an. While divorce rates do increase during times of stress, this is unprecedented. There aren’t just changes in routine and close contact without breaks, there are many other factors influencing marital stress during these times. An increased amount of new anxiety about health and keeping safe from Covid-19, unemployment and therefore financial insecurity, caring for elderly relatives with reduced strength immune systems, lacking social connection outside of the spouse, dealing with childcare and school issues, or simply managing chores and uncertainty about what will be in the future are just a few of the issues that could be causing marital stress. In addition, couples may be using different coping mechanisms during stressful times which clash with the other spouse. One might be active and attempt to be cheerful while the other might be hopeless and passive.

    There are many ways to fight against this marital strain, here are a couple ways to combat it. By picking your battles you can limit the amount of arguments and issues you create in the home. Even further, you can put a time limit on your arguments in order for them not to affect every moment of the day, when the time limit is up you can put it all behind you. Create some alone time, when you make boundaries stick to them. Another way to get some alone time and be active is to exercise, even just by taking a walk. Speaking to other people over the phone or video chat so your spouse isn’t the only person you talk to is another good way to make sure you can have a little break. Lastly, focus on survival during these difficult times not creating issues and rifts between you and your partner.

    If you or someone you know needs support with their marriage, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-discomfort-zone/202004/will-coronavirus-infect-your-marriage

    https://time.com/5811146/coronavirus-married-relationship/

    Perfectionism: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)

    GalleryJudy Gurfein 2 Comments

      Perfectionism: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)
      By: Isabelle Siegel

      Oftentimes when people say “I’m so OCD,” what they really mean is “I’m a perfectionist.” Perfectionism is a trait characterized by a rigid need to be perfect: that is, without flaws. Although perfectionism is often thought of as being a positive trait, it can be maladaptive in many ways. Perfectionists tend to have unrealistically high standards, to take longer to complete tasks, to struggle with collaboration, and to place immense pressure on themselves. When perfectionism is extreme, it may meet criteria for Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD).

      OCPD, not to be confused with OCD, is a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of inflexibility and a fixation with perfection. This fixation can interfere with one’s ability to complete tasks, one’s interpersonal relationships, and other aspects of one’s life. People with OCPD attempt to control life using details, rules, lists, order, organization, and/or schedules. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, OCPD is diagnosed when an individual demonstrates:

      • a fixation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules
      • perfectionism that interferes with task completion
      • overemphasis on work and productivity, leaving no time for leisure or relaxation
      • a fixation with morality and ethical responsibility
      • hoarding of objects and/or money
      • an inability to delegate tasks to others
      • an overall rigidity and/or stubbornness

      Like other psychological disorders, OCPD can be treated with therapy and medication. Therapies for OCPD emphasize identifying and modifying maladaptive behavioral patterns, as well as targeting triggers (such as stress) for overly perfectionistic behavior.

      If you or a loved one demonstrates symptoms of OCPD, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

      Sources:
      https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/perfectionism
      https://www.ocduk.org/related-disorders/obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder/clinical-classification-of-obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder/

      Image Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Signs_of_OCPD_1.png

      Mental Illness: Genetics or Environment?

      GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

        Mental Illness: Genetics or Environment?

        By: Isabelle Siegel

        The term “Nature vs. Nurture” describes an age-old scientific debate regarding whether behavior, personality, and other individual characteristics are the result of nature—one’s biology and genetics—or nurture—one’s environment and upbringing. The development of mental illness is a prime example of the Nature vs. Nurture debate, as scientists and others seek to understand: Is mental illness caused by genetics or environment?

        The Big Question. Is Nature or Nurture responsible for mental illness? This is essentially a trick question, as both Nature and Nurture contribute to the development of mental illness. In fact, it is ultimately the interaction between one’s genes and one’s experiences and environment that leads a person to develop a mental illness. According to the Diathesis-Stress Model, genetic predispositions develop into mental illnesses when they are met with stressful environments and/or experiences. For example, a person can be born with a genetic predisposition for depression, but that person may not develop depression unless they experience stressful environmental events such as abuse.

        Nature. What are the biological and genetic causes of mental illness? It is well-documented that mental illness can be hereditary, or passed on within families. For example, a person is four to six times more likely to develop Bipolar Disorder if someone in their family has or had Bipolar Disorder. Another potent biological factor contributing to the development of mental illness is brain anatomy and brain chemistry. Research suggests, for instance, that people with schizophrenia have less active prefrontal cortices (the area of the brain associated with decision-making, planning, and personality). Other biological factors implicated in the development of mental illness include exposure to infection or toxins, damage during pregnancy, and use of substances.

        Nurture. What are the environmental causes of mental illness? The development of mental illness can often be associated with one’s childhood experiences. Exposure to abuse is a potent example of an environmental factor that can lead to mental illness. Other experiences can also result in the onset of mental illness, including death, divorce, and/or other forms of grief or trauma.

        In conclusion, neither Nature nor Nurture is solely responsible for the development of mental illness. Rather, genetic and biological factors combine with environmental and experiential factors to result in the onset of mental illness. 

        If you or a loved one needs support for mental illness, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

        Sources: 

        https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/nature-versus-nurture

        https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-causes-mental-illness

        https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201112/nature-and-nurture

        https://dictionary.apa.org/diathesis-stress-model

        Image Source: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-nature-versus-nurture-2795392

        Parental Alienation Syndrome

        GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

          By: Elyse Ganss

          Parental alienation syndrome occurs when a child’s parent unconsciously works to turn the child against the other parent. This commonly occurs during divorce or custody battles. When saying negative things about the other parent, like blaming the other parent for their breakup, alienation turns the child against the other parent. Strategies can include brainwashing, alienating, and programming to cause distance between a child and parent. This behavior has negative effects for the relationship of the child and the other parent and can cause permanent damage.

          The parent who unconsciously tries to turn the child against the other parent often exhibits narcissistic characteristics or tendencies in line with borderline personality disorder and are more concerned with their own feelings rather than the child’s well-being. Feelings that may be driving the parent’s behavior are anger and jealousy. Children benefit from the presence of both parents, unless a parent is abusive, and through parental alienation syndrome, children may become estranged from a parent.

          If you have been experiencing anger about your co-parenting relationship and have been consciously or unconsciously taking it out on your child, you may be causing parental alienation syndrome. Children being alienated may experience anger, feelings of neglect, exhibit destructive behavior, and lack empathy. It is important to remember that no matter what you are feeling toward your former spouse, your child should not be brought into your separation, divorce, or custody battle. Supporting a child is the most important thing to do during a breakup and it may be helpful to bring the child to therapy to work through their emotions to prevent psychological damage.

          If you or someone you know needs support, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

          Sources:

          https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201802/parental-alienation-syndrome-what-is-it-and-who-does-it

          https://www.healthline.com/health/childrens-health/parental-alienation-syndrome#effects-on-child

          Image Source:

          https://www.healthline.com/health/childrens-health/parental-alienation-syndrome

          COVID-19: Why going outside can help with your mental health

          GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

            COVID-19: Why going outside can help with your mental health

            By: Alexa Greenbaum

            While social distancing during COVID-19, going outside has become one of the few activities to escape the house. In states that are in lockdown, governors such as in New York, Washington, and Montana have strongly encouraged people to go outdoors to run, walk, hike, and bike while practicing safe social distancing. Although it is not clear why, studies have found that spending time outside has a positive effect on our general well-being, including mental and physical health. In fact, doctors have been issuing “nature prescriptions” as a treatment for a range of conditions including chronic stress, depression, anxiety, PTSD, as well as others.

            Efforts around the world have been promoting the health benefits of time spent outside. Regardless of the level of physical activity, spending time outdoors for even just 20 minutes per day can lower stress hormone levels, boost self-esteem, and improve mood.

            Time in nature serves as an escape from daily pressures. The outdoors has been found to build resilience, hope, happiness, and optimism even before the added stressors of the COVID-19 pandemic. Additional research also suggests that going outside results in a lower risk of developing psychiatric disorders.

            Based on several existing literature, positive effects documented were often described as “psychological healing,” “increased sense of well-being,” and “restorative.” Thus, a form of healing to achieve, maintain or promote a positive mental health state. Nature is a critical component of overall health and a great place to start.

            If you or someone you know is struggling from COVID-19 or another crisis, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

            Sources:

            https://www.forbes.com/sites/cassidyrandall/2020/04/09/why-going-outside-is-good-for-your-health-especially-right-now/#4479a8bd2de9

            https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cravings/201909/nature-s-role-in-mental-illness-prevention-or-treatment

            https://time.com/5539942/green-space-health-wellness/

            https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/sour-mood-getting-you-down-get-back-to-nature

            Image Source:

            https://41nbc.com/2020/05/10/virus-outbreak

            https://41nbc.com/2020/05/10/virus-outbreak-georgia-6/

            Therapy: Reasons Not To Delay Mental Health Treatment

            GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

              Therapy: Reasons Not To Delay Mental Health Treatment
              By: Isabelle Siegel

              The median delay between onset of mental illness symptoms and treatment-seeking is a shocking ten years. In other words, people are suffering silently and without help for nearly a decade before they even speak to a professional. Before choosing to delay treatment, it is important to consider the many benefits of seeking therapy sooner rather than later.

              Seeking therapy earlier decreases the likelihood that symptoms will worsen. Among those who chose to delay treatment, 37% reported that their symptoms worsened. This can in turn make treatment more difficult when it is finally sought out and, overall, can complicate the therapeutic process.

              Seeking therapy earlier decreases the likelihood that physical symptoms will develop. Unaddressed mental illness symptoms can lead to physical consequences including obesity, heart attack, stroke, gastrointestinal issues, and general increased risk for disease.

              Seeking therapy earlier decreases the degree to which symptoms interfere with one’s life and relationships. A hallmark of mental illness is interference with quality of life and relationships. People who choose to delay mental health treatment are more likely to lose their jobs, drop out of school, experience financial troubles, and get divorced.

              Seeking therapy earlier decreases the risk of comorbid disorders. People with untreated mental illness are more likely to develop comorbid disorders. Comorbid substance use disorders are particularly likely to arise as a result of people self-medicating with alcohol and/or drugs. These comorbid disorders further complicate treatment when it is finally sought.

              Seeking therapy earlier decreases mortality rates. Neglecting mental health problems increases one’s risk for self-harm, suicide, and accidents (e.g., overdose, car accidents). In fact, the majority of suicide attempts are due to untreated mental illness.

              Seek treatment now. If you or a loved one needs support, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

              Sources:
              https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1361004/
              https://deserthopetreatment.com/co-occurring-disorders/going-untreated/
              https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/oct/09/mental-health-patients-waiting-nhs-treatment-delays

              Image Source: https://www.news-medical.net/health/Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy-for-Anxiety.aspx

              Siblings with Disabilities

              GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

              By: Isabelle Siegel

              People readily consider the struggles experienced by children with disabilities as well as by their parents, but siblings’ experiences and difficulties oftentimes go unnoticed. However, growing up with a sibling with a disability is not without consequences. Having a sibling with special needs is associated with numerous challenges, but also numerous opportunities.

              Challenges

              Growing up alongside a sibling with a disability can be associated with many negative emotions, some of which include anger, guilt, jealousy, embarrassment, and fear. Siblings of children with disabilities often report feeling neglected by their parents and feeling forced to hide their own problems for the sake of their family or brother/sister. They may also undergo “parentification,” meaning that they take on the role of a parent to themselves or even to their sibling. Although this parentification is associated with increased maturity, it is also associated with increased emotional vulnerability and distress. Taken together, these negative emotions and challenges render siblings of children with disabilities at higher risk for developing psychological adjustment difficulties: that is, they are more vulnerable than the average child to anxiety disorders, peer problems, academic struggles, and more.

              Opportunities

              People are quick to assume that having a sibling with a disability is a purely negative experience. However, growing up alongside a sibling with a disability is associated with many positive emotions and opportunities. Siblings of children with disabilities report feeling immense pride, gratitude, loyalty, and love. They tend to be more mature, responsible, empathetic, and tolerant than the average child. These positive experiences are equally as important as the negative ones, and must be acknowledged in order to fully comprehend what it is like to have a sibling with a disability.

              What Parents Can Do

              In order to best help the siblings of children with disabilities, parents can take several steps. These include:

              • Making sure to spend one-on-one time with each child
              • Keeping the siblings informed about their brother’s or sister’s disability and its implications
              • Understanding both the negative and positive emotions associated with being the sibling of a child with disabilities
              • Getting siblings involved in psychological services such as therapy

              If you or a loved one is the sibling or parent of a child with a disability, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

              Sources:
              https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/band-brothers-and-sisters/201406/siblings-children-disabilities
              https://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/home/topics/child-adolescent-psychiatry/emotional-problems-facing-siblings-of-children-with-disabilities/
              Image Source: https://raisingchildren.net.au/disability/family-life/siblings/supporting-siblings

              COVID-19: How to Cope with Stress During COVID-19

              GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

                COVID-19: How to Cope with Stress During COVID-19

                By: Alexa Greenbaum

                In crisis situations, it is normal to feel overwhelmed with emotions. The COVID-19 pandemic can feel threatening, as there are many unknowns. For example, published information from reputable sources, such as in the media, news, articles, journals, government officials, and specialists in relevant fields of work often contradict one another. It is important to note that everyone deals with stress differently, nonetheless, focusing on being resilient in response to COVID-19 will help minimize stressors and allow growth from traumatic experiences.

                In this time of many uncertainties and conflicting information, it can be difficult to be calm. Feeling a lack of control, fears, and ruminating on stressors can escalate undesirable emotions. These stressors can feel or be traumatic and as a result, especially in isolation, cause people to consciously think about how COVID-19 is stressful.

                It is difficult to stay calm but to subside unwanted stress, taking a step back and identifying your fears and putting emotions into perspective is a great way to start the process of becoming resilient to chaotic situations. It is important to understand and accept that there are a number of things that are out of control in life and emotions cannot prevent stressful situations. As a result, growth is associated with reflection and cognitive processing.

                In effort to overcome stress about COVID-19, some pathways to resilience include focusing on positive relationships, positive emotions, and hardiness. Connecting and not isolating yourself by supporting loved-ones, focusing on what is in your control, and connecting with larger social networks such as your communities can provide emotional and instrumental support. Communicating with others can also elicit positive emotions such as laughter and optimism and can influence the belief that one can grow from negative events.

                Taking care of yourself during a time of crisis is of upmost importance. To do so, take time to unwind and give yourself a break from looking at the news, create a routine, and take care of your body and mental health.

                If you or someone you know is experiencing uncontrollable stress from COVID-19 or another crisis, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

                Sources:

                https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html

                https://yalehealth.yale.edu/covid-19-managing-stress

                https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/05/13/6-ways-to-stop-stressing-about-things-you-cant-control/#7529342630db

                Image Source:

                https://www.nysut.org/news/2020/april/stress-management

                Habits: Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs)

                GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

                Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs)

                By Lauren Hernandez

                            Body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs) are a group of disorders composed of “self-grooming” behaviors in which a person might pull, pick, bite, or scrape one’s hair, skin, or nails. BFRBs can be considered “impulse disorders,” however; it is still undetermined whether they are either impulsive or compulsive behaviors. People suffering from BFRBs typically lack awareness towards engaging in the repetitive behavior. BFRBS are problematic when they occur repetitively and cause a person distress in their physical, social, and emotional lives. The cause of BFRBs is still being researched; however, for some, habitual behaviors such as biting nails, chewing on their cheeks, and pulling their hair may develop into an impairing pattern associated with other mental illnesses.

                Most BFRBs are associated with anxiety disorders, impulse control disorders, and obsessive compulsive disorders because they are difficult for individuals for control. BFRBs not only have an emotionally distressing impact, as an individual may experience high levels of shame, but BFRBs can also cause physical injuries such as scarring, skin infections, or bald spots.

                The most common BFRBs include:

                • Trichotillomania- compulsive hair pulling
                • Dermatillomania- Compulsive skin picking
                • Onychophagia- Compulsive nail biting

                Treatment of BFRBs include cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, and supplements, however, there are lower rates of treatment success due to lack of research on the disorders and effective treatment methods. Treatment for BFRBs should be discussed with a psychologist or psychiatric nurse practitioner in order to tailor treatment for an individual.

                If you or someone you know is struggling with a Body-focused repetitive behavior, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

                 

                Sources:

                https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/body-focused-repetitive-behaviors

                https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/touchy-subject/201805/habitual-behavior-or-bfrb-disorder

                Image Source:

                https://www.google.com/search?q=body+focused+repetitive+behavior&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjxvLyi6_DiAhUDA6wKHUvMC_AQ_AUIECgB&biw=990&bih=595#imgrc=VSq0qyAtsKNwDM: