Addiction: Supporting My Adult Child Through Addiction

Addiction: Supporting My Adult Child Through Addiction
By Emma Yasukawa

Being a parent means that your children always come first and from a young age, you teach them to make good decisions because children form plenty of life decisions on their own. For example, there are plenty of adult children who make the decision on whether or not they will try drugs or alcohol; even after hearing all of the possible side-effects and risks of addiction. This decision ultimately has an effect on parents and may leave them second-guessing their parenting skills and whether or not they did something wrong as parents.

If you are a parent of an adult child who is not making good decisions and their future seems uncertain, this can be a heavy burden on you. You must take a deep breath and remind yourself that your child is no longer your responsibility legally, and that they inevitably chose this path. Though, there are a few ways that a parent can help their adult child dealing with addiction:

1. Adult children who are addicted to a substance tend to feel as if the whole world is against them and that they feel as if they ‘had no other choice.’ As a parent it is important to remind your child that it was their conscious decision that leads them to where they are. Ultimately, this can remind them that they always have a choice and that it is not too late to seek help.

2. As a parent, you will always want to support your child emotionally and financially if needed. It is a parent’s heart to want to always help, but sometimes you are causing more harm than good. It is important to offer assistance and support but only to the degree that you are able to, and knowing that it is actually bettering your child’s future.

3. Love your child. Love comes in many different forms and sometimes integrating tough love is the best kind of love. This means holding him/her accountable for their behavior, and possibly setting up an intervention if needed.

4. While it is easy for the addicted child to become the center of attention, it is important to not allow this to affect the rest of your family. Of course it will be on everyone’s mind but, it should not get to the point where it will split up a family.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

Resources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201410/7-tips-mothers-adult-addicts

Image Source: https://vertavahealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Addictioncampuses.com-Getting-Help-For-An-Adult-Child-Addicted-To-Drugs-And-Alcohol.jpg
 

Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, ADHD, Et al: How to Support a Friend with Mental Illness

By: Sarah Cohen

When helping a friend with a mental illness, the first step should be assessment of their symptoms. Sometimes they just might be going through a difficult time, but if certain common symptoms associated with mental health issues persist it is imperative to respond sensitively. Majority of the time, friends will just want to know they have your support and that you care about them. A good way to show your support is by talking to them. If you provide a non-judgmental space for them to speak about their issues it will help encourage them to be open with their problems. Let them lead the conversation and don’t pressure them to reveal information. It can be incredibly difficult and painful to speak about these issues and they might not be ready to share everything. If you aren’t their therapist do not diagnose them or make assumptions about how they are feeling, just listen and show you understand. If someone doesn’t want to speak with you, don’t take it personally, just continue to show them you care about their wellbeing and want to help as much as possible. Just knowing they have support can give them the strength they need to contact someone who can help them.

If a friend is having a crisis, such as a panic attack or suicidal thoughts, you must stay calm. Try not to overwhelm them by asking a lot of questions and confronting them in a public setting. Ask them gently what would be helpful to them right now or reassure them. If they hurt themselves, get first aid as soon as possible. If someone is suicidal, contact the suicide hotline at 800-237-8255 immediately.

The best way to help someone is by connecting them to professional help. By expressing your concern and support you can show them that they can get help and their mental health problems can be treated.

If you or someone you know needs support with their mental illness, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/supporting-someone-mental-health-problem

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/talk/friends-family-members

Addiction: How to Support a Spouse with Addiction

Addiction: How to Support a Spouse with Addiction
By: Isabelle Siegel

One hallmark sign of addiction is continued substance use despite interference with one’s interpersonal relationships. Addiction can take an immense toll on romantic relationships in particular, causing pain and suffering for both parties. The partners/spouses of people with addiction may feel as though they are helpless, unable to provide the support that is needed. However, there are steps that partners/spouses can take to support their partner/spouse and themselves.

Develop an understanding of addiction and how it manifests in your partner/spouse. Research “Substance Use Disorder” and its symptoms, taking note of which symptoms apply to your partner/spouse. It may be helpful to create a list of warning signs that your partner/spouse is using substances, as well as to learn what to do in the case of an overdose.

Support, but avoid enabling. Enabling entails making excuses for your partner’s/spouse’s addictive behavior, communicating to them that such behavior is acceptable and can be continued. Instead, stress the necessity of change while also practicing devotion and love.

Establish boundaries for your relationship. Many professionals suggest establishing a set of boundaries that must be respected. For example, you may want to tell your partner/spouse that he/she cannot use substances while in the house.

Be honest with your partner/spouse. Tell your partner/spouse how his/her behavior makes you feel. If your partner’s/spouse’s behavior is hurting you, tell him/her. It is normal to feel uncomfortable during these conversations, but they are important and even necessary for change.

Most importantly, take care of yourself and seek therapy. Understand that your partner/spouse is not the only one who needs support and never feel guilty for prioritizing your own needs. If you feel that the relationship is putting your physical or mental health at risk, it may be necessary to end the relationship. It can be beneficial to seek therapy or other support in order to take care of your own mental health and to work through difficult emotions.

If you or a loved one needs support, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/