Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Understanding BPD and how to Appropriately Respond to Provocations as a Loved One

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) not only affects the individual, but those with whom they have formed a relationship. Relationships are present and strong, but experience more turbulence due to key symptoms of BPD such as: intense reactions, self- doubt, extreme idolization or devaluation, fear of abandonment, mood swings, risky behaviors, etc. There is no one “cause” of a personality disorder like BPD, but studies show that patients with BPD come from families of severe pathology leading to their provocative behavior patterns.

People with BPD engage in provocative behaviors like making wild accusations, over- the- top demands, threatening suicide, etc., all with the intention of being invalidated by their counterparts as they have been their whole life. They feel invalidated (which fuels self- doubts) when they evoke one of three reactions from their counterpart: anxious helplessness, anxious guilt, or overt hostility. If these reactions are displayed, their poor behavior is rewarded and will continue, and feelings of self- doubt are reaffirmed.

When someone with BPD makes a wild accusation, resist invalidating them while disagreeing with the accusation. If they say, for example, “I can tell you hate me,” you can reply with, “I’m sorry you feel that way. I wish there was something I could do that would convince you I love you.” Here, you are disagreeing with the accusation while validating their feelings, and not showing one of the craved reactions. Their poor behaviors are thus not rewarded and feelings of self- doubt are not reaffirmed. Further, simply listen and be attentive. People with BPD most likely grew up being invalidated so they want to feel cared about. When talking to someone with BPD, incorporate the counseling technique “reflection of feelings”. This is defined by interpreting one’s feelings based on their verbal and nonverbal cues. When you’re able to interpret someone’s feelings, it demonstrates that you are paying attention and care, which is of utmost importance to someone with BPD.

If you or someone you know is seeking therapy for a codependent relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources:

https://www.nami.org/Personal-Stories/What-Is-BPD

https://www.psycom.net/personality-disorders/bpd-and-relationships/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201401/responding-borderline-provocations-part-iii

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201403/responding-borderline-provocations-part-iv

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201403/responding-borderline-provocations-part-v

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/matter-personality/201405/responding-borderline-provocations-part-vi

Psychosomatic Disorders

Psychosomatic Disorders

By Crystal Tsui

Psychosomatic disorder affects both mind and body and it occurs when a physical disease is exacerbated or caused by mental factors or vice versa. Psychological factors can cause physical symptoms when there is no physical disease. There are many factors that are involved with psychosomatic disorders, such as

  • Biological traits
  • Genetic and environmental factors
  • Family influences
  • Learned behavior

Some symptoms of psychosomatic disorders include:

  • Generalized pain
  • Weakness
  • Fatigue
  • Shortness of breath

There are many physical diseases and conditions that are prone to be exacerbated by psychological factors. Some conditions include:

  • Hypertension
  • Constipation
  • Diarrhea
  • Dyspnea
  • Tachypnea
  • Tachycardia

Cognitive behavioral therapy is often the treatment for psychosomatic disorders and it helps individuals cope with their problems (eg. stress, anxiety, depression) and understand that their mental health is connected to their physical health. Most healthcare professionals try to treat the individual, taking into account the mental, social, and physical factors that may contribute to a disease.

 If you or someone you know has psychosomatic disorder, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources:

https://centerforanxietydisorders.com/treatment-programs/psychosomatic-disorders/

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwib8_iSpLTiAhWtTd8KHQaAC_cQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.abc.net.au%2Fradionational%2Fprograms%2Fallinthemind%2Fhypochondria-and-psychosomatic-illness%2F6866448&psig=AOvVaw1o8-BXYZWCSksnlzsZPuSV&ust=1558791237650609

Self-Harm

Self-harm is a way of expressing feelings that can’t be put into words by deliberately harming the surface of your own body, such as cutting or burning yourself. It’s the release of pain and tension one feels inside. It’s a distraction from overwhelming feelings and emotions, from no emotion at all, and can be used as a way to punish oneself.  It’s a way to feel control.

Dear readers that self-injure,             
            Maybe you feel ashamed, maybe you think no one would understand, maybe you think you won’t be left alone again, and quite honestly you might be scared of hearing that you’re crazy. But hiding who you are and what you feel is a heavy burden. We have all been there in one way or another. Truthfully, the secrecy and guilt of self-harm affects your relationships with your friends and family members and the way you feel about yourself. It can make you feel even more lonely, worthless, and trapped. But you are not crazy, and you are definitely not alone.

Why You Should Stop:

  • The relief is short lived.
  • Keeping the secret is a lonely and a difficult journey.
  • You can hurt yourself badly, on purpose or not, and misjudge the damage you’ll do.
  • Those who care for you, even those who are unaware of the situation, would be broken to know it.

How to Rid Yourself of the Mechanism:

  • Communicate with somebody you can confide in. A friend, a family member, a teacher, etc.
  • Give yourself time to heal.
  • Seek out professional help and begin to both work with and understand your emotions.
  • Sprint, draw, paint, sing, scream, run, cry, and do whatever you can to make your impulse go away in that moment.

How to Help Someone that Does Self-harm:

  • Don’t judge.
  • Respect the person’s time needed to heal.
  • Offer support, even if you might not completely understand.
  • Help find therapy, and offer to help reach out to more adults and professionals.

By Isabelle Kreydin

 If you or someone you know is self-harming and needs help, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm