Communication

Relationships & Long Distance: Strategies to Succeed

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

Relationships & Long Distance: Strategies to Succeed

By Caroline Buchanan

One of the ultimate tests for a romantic relationship is maintaining the relationship despite the distance. As a result, this could lead to distinct challenges and obstacles. While research from 2018 suggests that couples who live farther than an hour apart tend to break up, at least 60% of partnerships still make their long distance relationship succeed. What are these people probably doing to make it work? The best answer seems to be making the distance work for your relationship, and not working around it (Psych Central). There are strategies that can be implemented to help manage and avoid these common roadblocks.

Strategies:

  • Communication

Your communication method may be the key difference in whether your relationship lasts or falls apart. Phone calls or video calls should be used for heartfelt conversations or heavier discussions. Arguments in text based conversations can lead to misinterpreting the intention behind a message. Use texting mainly for casual contact such as “good morning” and “enjoy your day” type messages.           

  • Acknowledging Fear-based behaviors

 Long distance relationships tend to bring out fears: Fear that the other partner doesn’t care anymore or is going to leave you for someone else. While it’s not uncommon to feel these fears, it is important to recognize these negative thinking patterns. If you are open and clear in your communication with your partner, this may help prevent or subside fears. Let your partner clarify situations that may be bothersome to you.

  • Intimacy

 If you both are comfortable in your relationship, you could imitate the physical connection and enjoy pleasure together by trying erotic conversations, video sex, or phone sex. Make sure you are open and honest about your expectations in engaging in these activities.

While it requires intent and effort, maintaining love in a long-distance relationship is possible. Take the time to think about seeking the help of a mental health professional if you’re experiencing challenges or feeling anxiety in your relationship. This would help you develop specific skills to be able to establish secure bonds.

If you or someone you know is struggling in a long distance relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-make-long-distance-relationships-work

Listening: Three Ways to Become a Better Listener

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

listening

By: Tamar Asayan

All anyone ever wants is to be listened to when they are going through a difficult time in their life. An act as simple as listening can be the biggest help anyone can ask for. However, it can also be the hardest thing to do because listeners have a habit of relating issues back to themselves. The aim of listening is not to try to fix them or tell them what to do; instead it is to show them that you care and feel for them as they are struggling. Oftentimes, it is better to not relate issues back to yourself. People feel the need to be listened to because they want to make sure their thoughts are rational, and do not want to overthink. When we listen it reassures the person that we care and that they are not alone.

Three easy steps to becoming a better listener is to listen, understand, and respond appropriately.

  1. Listen
    • Pay attention to not only what the speaker is saying but body language as well.
    • Do not interrupt the speaker.
  2. Understand
    • This is the time to process everything the person has told you so you know how to respond appropriately.
    • Ask questions; the best types of questions to ask are open ended and reflective questions.
    • This allows the speaker to open up even more and explain what they are going through.
  3. Response
    • Address the speaker’s points.
    • Restate what they have told you.
    • Don’t complete the speaker’s sentences. This can come off rude, and interrupts your time to listen and for them to speak. Interrupting and assuming what the speaker is feeling will make them think you do not want to listen.

Sources:

https://blog.udemy.com/importance-of-listening/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-generosity-of-listening/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening/

Image: http://throwthediceandplaynice.com/2017/12/listening-up-in-2018.html

If you or someone you know may be having trouble with communication speak with one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists. Contact us at our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 respectively to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.