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Bipolar Disorder: Loving someone with bipolar disorder, the ups and downs

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Bipolar Disorder: Loving someone with bipolar disorder, the ups and downs
By Zoe Alekel

Loving someone with bipolar disorder can be a challenge if you don’t have the right tools and knowledge to help both you and your loved one. The first step in loving someone with bipolar disorder would be to understand what it means to be bipolar. Although you may never know exactly how your loved one feels, it is important to understand and educate yourself about their behaviors and emotions. According to the Mayo Clinic, bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). To understand what your loved one is going through, it is key to remind yourself that your loved one can’t always control these emotional mood swings—and more importantly it is not a reflection of you or how they feel about you.

It is understandable that it can be difficult to understand these seemingly sudden and intense mood swings, and your loved one struggling with bipolar disorder may already know this and feel bad about how it affects you. Make sure you approach them with kindness, and always ask them what you can do to help them. Sometimes space and understanding that the mood swing will pass is enough support for your loved one. No matter how involved or uninvolved they want you to be with their mental health, always respect their wishes.

One thing you can do to help you cope with your loved one’s bipolar disorder is to find others that have loved ones with bipolar disorder as well. Additionally, you can reach out to a therapist to share your feelings and the struggles that you experience as someone who has a loved one diagnosed with bipolar disorder. A way you can further educate yourself on bipolar disorder is to visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website. NAMI provides credible information for those with loved ones diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and suggests you can try the following to help a family member or friend with bipolar disorder:

  • Recognizing and preventing serious mood episodes/ mood swings
  • Being able to recognize the warning signs of mania and depression
  • Making sure your loved one is taking their medication regularly and consistently (as directed)
  • Communicating and making time to talk to your loved one about their feelings when they feel ready
  • Remaining calm and rational with your loved one
  • Keeping a positive attitude and a clear mind to help your loved one the best you can
  • Reaching out for psychological support for you and your loved one

If you or someone you know is struggling with bipolar disorder, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources: https://nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Bipolar-Disorder/Support#:~:text=NAMI%20and%20NAMI%20Affiliates%20are%20there%20to%20provide,about%20bipolar%20disorder%20or%20finding%20support%20and%20resources.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201206/bipolar-disorder-loving-someone-who-is-manic-depressive

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355955#:~:text=Both%20a%20manic%20and%20a%20hypomanic%20episode%20include,sprees%2C%20taking%20sexual%20risks%20or%20making%20foolish%20investments

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Anxiety: Going Back to School during a Pandemic

GalleryJudy Gurfein 1 Comment

By Mizuki Wada

You know it’s time to get ready for school or work when you see the pumpkin displays and school supplies in stores. However, with the global pandemic going on this year there is far more tension and nervousness besides the first day jitters. From parents sending their kids, faculty going back to classrooms or students getting ready for in-person sessions, many of those could be feeling high pressure and anxiety. However, here are a few ways that could help you steer clear from overwhelming anxiousness.

  • Acknowledge– It is crucial to acknowledge your feelings and stress. Understanding the reason why you’re feeling a certain way is the key to finding a solution.
  • Attitude– Try to look at the big picture and find some positive factors of returning to school. Only looking at the negative aspects can cause the situation to be a lot scarier than it actually is.
  • Support– Find a support group! Whether it be your family or friends, having people that would listen to you talk is very beneficial. Try talking about how you’re feeling to those who understand you.
  • Knowledge– Educate yourself on the situation. People can tell you one thing, but are they really true? Limit your news intake and check whether these sources are trustworthy or not. There’s a difference between educating yourself and filling yourself with information.
  • Physical Health– Although it may sound irrelevant, mental health and physical health go hand in hand. Even if it’s a simple walk or a yoga session, moving your body physically can help alleviate stress. It’s important to keep a healthy body for a healthy mind.

If you or someone you know is struggling with Anxiety or any other mental illnesses, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

Reference:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-the-doubt/202003/respond-instead-react-managing-covid-19-anxiety

https://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/stress/manage-back-to-school-stress-coronavirus

Telehealth and Teletherapy

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

By: Isabelle Siegel

“Teletherapy” describes the delivery of therapy sessions via video or phone conferencing. Even before the age of COVID-19, teletherapy was quickly rising to popularity. However, COVID-19 has forced those who were on the fence about teletherapy to begin engaging in video- or phone-delivered sessions. This begs the question: Is teletherapy as effective as in-person therapy? If so, what are the benefits of teletherapy?

Is Teletherapy as Effective as In-Person Therapy?

Therapy has historically been referred to as “the talking cure,” and therefore one would presume that the therapeutic process would easily translate to talking via video or phone. Is this the case? The overall consensus of scientific research is that teletherapy is equally as effective as in-person therapy. More specifically, scientific studies support the use of teletherapy for depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, anxiety disorders, and other psychological disorders.

Benefits of Teletherapy

Teletherapy may even have numerous advantages over in-person therapy, as it generally makes therapy much more accessible to the average person. Some benefits of teletherapy include:

Greater Flexibility and Efficiency: Teletherapy can enable patients to easily engage in therapy sessions while simultaneously working from home, taking care of children, etc. Patients can schedule sessions during their lunch breaks, while their children nap, or whenever else is most convenient for them. With reduced wait times and travel times, teletherapy sessions almost always occupy less time than in-person sessions and, thus, afford more flexibility and efficiency for the average busy patient.

Increased Accessibility: Teletherapy allows more people access to highly-qualified therapists, regardless of where they live or their ability to travel. This can be especially helpful for people who live in rural areas, college students, and people with disabilities or lack of access to transportation.

Comfortable Environment: Teletherapy allows patients to engage in therapy sessions where they are most comfortable: in their own homes. Rather than having to travel to an unfamiliar office, patients can feel free to open up while staying within their comfort zone.

Overall, teletherapy represents a promising future direction in the field of psychology. With the potential to eliminate barriers to therapy, teletherapy may ultimately serve to render psychotherapy more accessible to the average individual.

If you or a loved one is interested in teletherapy, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources:
https://positivepsychology.com/teletherapy/
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/02/online-therapy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/millennial-media/201901/14-benefits-teletherapy-clients
Image Source:
http://www.brownedhi.org/the-cultural-revolution-of-teletherapy/

    The Less Talked-About Side of OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    By: Isabelle Siegel

    When thinking about OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), most people instinctively think of those who care about cleanliness and tidiness. In fact, it is not uncommon to use the phrase “I’m so OCD” to imply that one agonizes over neatness and order. This perception of OCD is not without reason, as many people with OCD do obsess over germs, contamination, and order and engage in excessive hand washing, cleaning, and ordering.

    However, it is important to note that this is not the reality for many other sufferers of OCD. OCD is a wide-ranging disorder involving the presence of obsessions—“repeated thoughts, urges, or mental images that cause anxiety”—and compulsions—repetitive behaviors performed to relieve the anxiety. These obsessions can take nearly any form, with contamination and order being only two of them. Some other common obsessions include thoughts about: losing control or going insane, harming oneself or others, unwanted sexual ideas or images, and/or religion. For example, it is well-documented that people with OCD may experience intrusive thoughts about homosexuality, pedophilia, violence and aggression, and/or suicide.

    Many people with these less talked-about OCD “themes” take longer to realize that they have OCD because their symptoms are not in line with the stereotypical hand washing and tidying. These individuals often engage in different compulsive behaviors to alleviate anxiety. These behaviors may include mental compulsions such as repeated checking and rumination (that is, repetitively reviewing and evaluating one’s thoughts and their meanings). For example, the individual who obsesses about violence and aggression may repeatedly check that he/she has not unintentionally harmed those around him/her.

    It is ultimately important to acknowledge this less talked-about side of OCD in order to encourage sufferers to acknowledge their symptoms and to guide them to get the treatment and help that they need. 

    If you or a loved one appears to be suffering from OCD, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

    Sources:
    https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/index.shtml
    https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-self-sabotage/201002/rumination-problem-solving-gone-wrong
    Image Source:
    https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/obssessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd.htm

    Depression: Have a Case of the Winter Blues? Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder

    GalleryJudy Gurfein 1 Comment

     

    By: Keely Fell

    Can’t seem to shake the winter blues? Nearly five percent of adults are experiencing symptoms that align with major depressive disorder with recurring seasonal pattern, which is more commonly known as Seasonal Affective Disorder. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V), an individual who is experiencing “two major depressive episodes in the last two years” that show relations to the time of year, and experience full remissions at other times they may be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

    It is also important to understand what is happening in the body and why an individual is experiencing such symptoms. When an individual is experiencing these symptoms, often it can be as a result of the lack of natural light due to the shorter periods of daylight during the winter season. With the lack of light, the human brain slows down the production of serotonin, and increases the production of melatonin which leaves individuals feeling drowsy. Melatonin production increase is caused by darkness, which is why we get sleepy when the sun goes down. The regulation of these chemicals is what helps create your body’s specific circadian rhythm. When this system is affected it can cause a feeling of lethargy and or restlessness.

    Here are some tips and tricks to shaking those winter blues:

    1. Take a few minutes during your day to get outside Whether that’s during your lunch break or walking to pick up the mail, going outside during daylight will increase the serotonin production in your brain.
    2. Light Therapy During the dark winter months, if these symptoms are taking over you can try light therapy. Light therapy allows for the brain to think it’s being exposed to sunlight. People who use light therapy typically invest in a light box (if interested Harvard Health has many they recommend) which delivers around 10,000 lux, compared to a standard sunny day that ranges 50,000 lux or above. They recommend that, you sit in front of the light box for no more than 30 minutes a day. This allows for the brain to regulate its circadian rhythms by allowing the retinas to be stimulated. Light therapy does not work for everyone.
    3. Talk Therapy If these symptoms persist and are affecting your day talk therapy is also affective. Reaching out to a psychologist, psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, or psychotherapist to come up with symptom relief is another big way to combat these symptoms. Symptom relief may include the use of antidepressants, or various therapeutic methods.

     

    If you or someone you know has Seasonal Affective Disorder or seems to have the symptoms of SAD, and needs help, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    Sources:

    https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/seasonal-affective-disorder/index.shtml

    https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/seasonal-affective-disorder-bring-on-the-light-201212215663

    https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/seasonal-affective-disorder

     

    Social Anxiety Disorder

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    Social Anxiety Disorder

    Social Anxiety Disorder

    By: Julia Keys

    It is typical to feel a bit nervous before public speaking or maybe a little anxious before a performance, however, for those with Social Anxiety Disorder, or SAD, even the smallest interactions with others can provoke feelings of extreme anxiety. Social Anxiety Disorder is characterized by a strong and persistent fear of humiliation and embarrassment that could be caused by social situations. People with Social Anxiety Disorder struggle with feelings of self-consciousness that are produced by the possibility of judgement in social interactions. Oftentimes the distress caused by social situations can become so overwhelming for those with SAD that they begin to avoid everyday activities and responsibilities such as going to work, going to school, or picking up the phone.

    Signs of Social Anxiety Disorder:

    • Anxiety about being with other people
    • Difficult time interacting with others, stuttering, trailing off, and reserved behavior are common
    • Self-consciousness in front of other people and feelings of embarrassment
    • Fear of being judged
    • Difficulty making and keeping friends
    • Blushing, sweating or trembling around other people
    • Other physical symptoms such as disorientation, shallow breath, diarrhea, muscle tension and upset stomach

    Social Anxiety Disorder can be treated with psychotherapy, medication, or both. A common affliction for those with SAD is the rumination that follows social interactions. New types of therapy are being developed to help those with SAD deal with this common symptom: post-event processing or PEP Mindfulness based therapies are aiming to target the feelings of shame, worry, and embarrassment that are caused by overanalyzing personal performance in social situations. Cognitive-Behavioral therapy helps people with SAD change unhealthy thought patterns that may be contributing to their anxiety. Medications such as antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds are often used in conjunction with psychotherapy. Social Anxiety Disorder affects over 19 million people across the US; however 35% of those suffering with social anxiety waited over ten years to seek treatment. Don’t hesitate to reach out and get the help you need.

    If you or a loved one is struggling with social anxiety, do not hesitate to seek help by contacting Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy, located in New York and New Jersey to speak to licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners or psychotherapists. To contact the office in Paramus NJ, call (201) 368-3700. To contact the office in Manhattan, call (212) 722-1920. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    Sources:

    https://www.anxiety.org/social-anxiety-disorder-sad

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201904/the-one-dose-approach-help-social-anxiety-disorder

    Source for Picture:

    https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&id=1DCB8A68F1C1E13F5FC8DB9E2A8A155D5018D398&thid=OIP.S96UZQjJADokE5fdhVCocAHaHa&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fsocialanxietyinstitute.org%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2FFemale3_0.jpg&exph=360&expw=360&q=social+anxiety&selectedindex=414&ajaxhist=0&vt=0&eim=1,2,6

    Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

    Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

    By: Julia Keys

    Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has been normalized and trivialized in society as a need for everything to be meticulously clean and organized when in reality it is a serious psychological disorder that can cause significant distress for those who have it. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is characterized by a pattern of uncontrollable reoccurring thoughts, known as obsessions, which can only be remedied by certain behaviors, known as compulsions. People with OCD are commonly depicted as being ultra-neat or afraid of germs, which is true for some people, but the way OCD expresses itself is unique to the individual.

    There are several common themes that psychologists have determined when treating patients with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. One common theme is contamination. This may take on the literal meaning in which an object or place can be perceived as dirty, but it can also mean that contact with a person, place, or object will cause great harm. Checking is another typical behavior. One may check if something is safe or turned off over and over again. Checking can also express itself in the need for constant verbal reassurance, so a person with OCD may ask the same question over and over. People with OCD may be worried that they will suddenly lose control and hurt themselves or someone else. In efforts to qualm these obsessions, one may avoid certain places or people or have plans set in place that could prevent them from acting out these thoughts.

    Common obsessions may include, but are not limited to:

    • Fear of germs or contamination
    • Unwanted forbidden or taboo thoughts involving sex, religion, and harm
    • Aggressive thoughts towards others or self
    • Having things symmetrical or in a perfect order

    Common compulsions may include, but are not limited to:

    • Excessive cleaning and/or handwashing
    • Ordering and arranging things in a particular, precise way
    • Repeatedly checking on things, such as repeatedly checking to see if the door is locked or that the oven is off
    • Compulsive counting

    When reading these lists one might think that these behaviors are relatively typical, however people with OCD spend an excessive amount of time and effort thinking about obsessive thoughts and preforming rituals to control them. A person with OCD may feel brief relief after preforming a compulsion, but they do not feel pleasure from such acts. Obsessions and compulsions are very difficult to control and may result in significant problems in one’s daily life or relationships.

    If you or someone you know is struggling OCD, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    Sources:

    https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/index.shtml

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-ocd/201107/the-many-flavors-ocd

    Source for Picture:

    https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&id=47C5DD3F1D65AD247FE6091E7A61190FA00E0683&thid=OIP.X50wPNnUfEvJHrY8IH6VyQHaFj&mediaurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.belmarrahealth.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2016%2F01%2FObsessive-compulsive-disorder-OCD-questionnaire-can-also-help-determine-the-risk-of-depression-and-anxiety.jpg&exph=2475&expw=3300&q=ocd&selectedindex=57&ajaxhist=0&vt=0&eim=1,2,6

     

     

     

    Antidepressants: What Happens When You Stop Taking Your Medication

    GalleryJudy Gurfein 10 Comments

    Antidepressants: What Happens When You Stop Taking Your Medication

    Antidepressants: What Happens When You Stop Taking Your Medication

    By: Julia Keys

    Anti-depressant discontinuation syndrome occurs when a person suddenly stops taking their anti-depressants. Sometimes individuals decide to go off of their medication because of side effects such as weight gain, nausea, or sexual dysfunction. Another common reason why individuals stop their medication “cold turkey” is because they may feel as if the medication has changed their personality. Anti-depressants are not meant to change one’s personality, but sometimes they can cause fogginess or fatigue which can make the patient feel “not like themselves” or “out of it”. However, abruptly going off medication can cause symptoms that are more painful and severe than the side effects one might feel on an anti-depressant that is not right for them.

    The effects of anti-depressant discontinuation can be felt as early as a couple hours to as late as a couple days after missing a dose depending on the type of anti-depressant. Symptoms are typically ameliorated within six to twenty four hours after taking the missed dose.

    Symptoms of Anti-depressant discontinuation syndrome:

    • Nausea
    • Chills
    • Headache
    • Vomiting
    • Problems with balance
    • “brain zaps” or “brain shocks”, the sensation of a jolt of electricity running through the head, neck or limbs
    • Anxiety

    Unlike illegal drugs, phasing out of anti-depressants can be a painless process if done correctly. In order to go off of anti-depressants successfully, one must slowly wean themselves off the medication with the help of a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner.

    Tips to prevent or minimize anti-depressant discontinuation syndrome:

    • NEVER stop taking medication without talking to your doctor
    • Follow your doctor’s directions exactly when going off your meds. If you start to feel any of the symptoms of anti-depressant discontinuation syndrome contact your doctor as soon as possible
    • Set a reminder on your phone or computer to take your medication each day
    • Always keep your medication in the same place
    • Make sure to keep on top of your doctor’s appointments by putting them in a calendar so that you will never run out of medication by accident

    If you are struggling with mental health issues and are in need of treatment, do not hesitate to seek help by contacting Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy, located in New York and New Jersey to speak to licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners or psychotherapists. To contact the office in Paramus NJ, call (201) 368-3700. To contact the office in Manhattan, call (212) 722-1920. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    Sources:

    https://www.aafp.org/afp/2006/0801/p449.html

    https://www.aafp.org/afp/2006/0801/p449.html

    Source for picture:

    https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailv2&iss=sbi&form=SBIIRP&sbisrc=ImgDropper&q=imgurl:https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.w1jYI-8qe7WzoyGlc18DmQHaFj%26w%3D259%26h%3D194%26c%3D7%26o%3D5%26dpr%3D1.15%26pid%3D1.7&idpbck=1&selectedindex=0&id=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.w1jYI-8qe7WzoyGlc18DmQHaFj%26amp%3Bw%3D259%26amp%3Bh%3D194%26amp%3Bc%3D7%26amp%3Bo%3D5%26amp%3Bdpr%3D1.15%26amp%3Bpid%3D1.7&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.w1jYI-8qe7WzoyGlc18DmQHaFj%26w%3D259%26h%3D194%26c%3D7%26o%3D5%26dpr%3D1.15%26pid%3D1.7&exph=0&expw=0&vt=2&sim=0

     

    Self Esteem: Low Self Esteem and Comparison

    GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    Self Esteem: Low Self Esteem and Comparison

    Self Esteem: Low Self Esteem and Comparison

    By: Julia Keys

    It is easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. We compare ourselves to others so often that they rarely even notice it. A social psychologist named Leon Festinger first proposed the social comparison theory in 1954 stating that humans look to others in order to evaluate their own self-image. Comparison is a necessary part of human cognition. We need to compare things in order to make choices. For example, imagine you are choosing between two different new cars to buy. One must compare the different traits of each car in order to make a well-rounded decision. Unlike cars, humans have unique and complex sets of experiences and genes, so comparing yourself to others isn’t logical. Unfairly comparing yourself to others is an unhealthy habit that can lead to low self-esteem, feelings of anxiety, and feelings of depression. Everyone has compared themselves to someone else at some point, but some people seem unusually preoccupied with it.

    Here are some reasons why certain people tend to compare themselves to others frequently:

    • They feel like they have a lack of control over their life
    • Low self-esteem, low self-confidence, or low self-worth
    • History of being compared to a family member
    • Lack of self-knowledge/self-reflective skills

    Ways to stop comparing yourself to others:

    • Limit social media use and when using, seek connection, not comparison
    • Take note of how often you compare yourself to others and mentally tell yourself to stop
    • Keep a journal with your own goals, aspirations, and self-reflections. Many times, people become so attached to certain ideals that they adopt from others that they forget to develop their own ideals. For example, if a child was told by his mother all his life that he must pursue a certain profession, they may be ignoring other career paths that they want to pursue. It is important to self-reflect so one can align their goals and behaviors to the wants and needs of their true selves.
    • If you do compare yourself, try to compare yourself to someone/something that is just slightly out of reach and well defined. When comparisons are general, one can get stuck in a rut of constant unfair comparisons instead of taking action and being able to achieve specific goals. Additionally, comparing yourself to something that is so out of reach can be discouraging. For example, if a woman compares body to an Olympic athlete, she is not setting a defined goal in order to be more like the athlete. In this case, it would be more helpful for the woman to aspire to be like her active friend who walks every day and schedule daily walks so she can exercise more.
    • Practice gratitude for your mind, body, spirit, and relationships
    • Only compare yourself to yourself, which is also known as internal validation. Internal validation is beneficial to your well-being and self-esteem.

    If you or someone you know is struggling with low self-esteem or confidence issues, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

     Sources:

    https://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2019/05/5-reasons-you-compare-yourself-to-others-and-how-to-stop-it/

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201711/the-comparison-trap

    Source for Picture:

    https://www.google.com/search?q=apples+and+oranges&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjE6d6ButfiAhXypVkKHRElCIUQ_AUIECgB&biw=1280&bih=610#imgrc=aoygGAqHovpj6M:

    Relationships: The Impact of Attachment Styles

    GalleryJudy Gurfein 1 Comment

    Relationships: The Impact of Attachment Styles

    Relationships: The Impact of Attachment Styles

    By: Julia Keys

    Did you know that the way one develops an attachment to their mother as an infant has a profound effect on their adult relationships? Attachment styles were first studied in detail by the developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth in her experiment called “the strange situation”. In the strange situation, Ainsworth had a mother and a child play together for about three minutes and then the mother left the room. Next, a stranger would enter the room and play with the child for about three minutes and then they would leave. Finally, the child’s mother would re-enter the room and resume playing with their child. Ainsworth was most interested in observing the child’s behavior when their mother re-entered the room.

    Upon careful examination, Ainsworth found three distinct patterns of behavior in infants when their mothers re-entered the room. If the child was upset, but then easily soothed by their mother upon re-entry, Ainsworth deemed them as having a secure attachment style. If the child was indifferent to their mother upon re-entry, Ainsworth would label them with an insecure avoidant attachment style. Finally, if the infant shows conflicting behavior upon the mother’s re-entry such as clinginess and then subsequent rejections of affection, Ainsworth would say they had an insecure ambivalent attachment style. Insecure ambivalent children are unpredictable in terms of their parental reactivity.

    Ainsworth hypothesized that children’s reactions were a result of how their parents responded to their needs. Hypothetically, infants with secure attachment styles have their basic needs met consistently by their parents. This leads the secure infant to show a healthy dependence on their parents. Infants with an insecure avoidant attachment have their needs minimally met by their parents, which leads them to be independent and self-soothing. Infants with insecure ambivalent attachment styles have their needs met inconsistently from their caregivers, which results in confusion and conflicting behaviors.

    So how does this “strange situation” relate to people later on in life? Researchers have found that attachment styles follow infants into adulthood and impact their behavior in relationships. While the behavior infants exhibited in the experiment relied on whether or not basic needs such as food, water, or comfort were met, attachments styles in adults tend to manifest themselves in more complicated ways.  Secure adults tend to have healthy and satisfying relationships where they can receive and offer support as needed.  Avoidant adults seek independence in relationships and oftentimes can appear a bit callous to their own emotions. Avoidant adults aren’t likely to offer support to their partners because they rarely depend on it themselves. Finally, ambivalent adults fear being either too close or too far from their partner, causing them to feel confused by their feelings and act in unpredictable ways in the relationship.

    Although attachment styles are habits that people have probably been practicing subconsciously for all their lives, they are not permanent. Individual or couples therapy can help those struggling with their own emotions or communication skills.

    If you or someone you know is struggling in a relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    Sources:

    https://www.simplypsychology.org/mary-ainsworth.html

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship

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