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Self-Love: Learning to Love YourSELF

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Self-Love: Learning to Love YourSELF

By: Michelle Cocone

February is known to be the month of love, spreading love to our loved ones. We spend a lot of time trying to share that love that we often forget about ourselves. It’s important to learn how to love yourself. It helps us lead a healthier life and have better mental health. When we don’t love ourselves, it takes a toll on us, possibly leading to depression, anxiety, or an eating disorder. There are many ways to show love to ourselves, here are a couple ways.

Shift Your Perspective

  • Focusing on the bad aspects of ourselves won’t lead to anywhere good
  • Shift your perspective towards a more positive outlook
  • Don’t always see the cons, recognize the pros as well, they need love too

Affirmations

  • Write out a list of what you like + love about yourself
  • Tell yourself that you appreciate all parts of  your body/personality
  • Embrace the beauty of it all
  • Remember your body does plenty of work to keep you going every day
  • Keep telling yourself all these affirmations throughout the low points you may have

Practice Self-Love

  • Focus on the hobbies that you enjoy
  • Pour yourself  into becoming better at your hobbies
  • Be kind to yourself, you only have one body, so take care of it
  • Learn to forgive yourself when you haven’t accomplished everything you hoped for
  • Learn to forgive yourself when you aren’t kind to yourself
  • It’s okay to say “No.” You don’t have to please others all the time.

The most important relationship you can have is with yourself.  You may have heard this saying once or twice but it’s true, “Learn to love yourself first so you can spread love to others.”  Make time to focus and nourish your own self. It doesn’t all get done in one day. As long as you work on yourself a little bit every day that’s all that matters.

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-love, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling and Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) – 368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

References

Improving every area of your life starts with self-love. Improving Every Area of Your Life Starts with Self-Love | Tony Robbins. (n.d.). https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ultimate-relationship-guide/how-to-fall-in-love-with-yourself?srsltid=AfmBOoq4CvACby5hWenBdEGAH5zBgxAPOtKzEvtobHDRZ6cGfT9MaFtn


Pomlett, M. (2020, December 21). Learn how to self-love. Psychological Health Care. https://www.psychologicalhealthcare.com.au/blog/learn-how-to-self-love/

Anxiety about starting College: Getting over Anxiety as a Freshman in College

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Anxiety about starting College: Getting over Anxiety as a Freshman in College

By: Michelle Cocone

Every young adult pursuing a higher education will go through college. Starting college can be scary; you become a freshman all over again. Young adults tend to get anxious when thinking of the process. It’s very normal to experience this feeling. This anxiety stems from the uncertainty of college, not knowing what or who to expect. They will question whether they will be accepted, make friends, balance their workload, and hopefully not get lost. These are useful tips to help ease the adaptation of college.

Every College Student Was Once a freshman                                                                        

  • You aren’t alone in this experience as every freshman feels anxiety
  • Use the anxiety and fear to your advantage, this can be a topic of conversation to make friends
  • Embrace “I am a freshman who can start from zero”, a clean slate
  • It’s okay if you don’t have a best friend right away
  • Take the time to build connections, these can be important for networking after college

Have a Support System

  • Talk to friends or family about your college experience
  • They can share advice if they have gone to college

Use a Planner

  • Balancing schoolwork can be easier if you have a planner
  • When you get your course assignment schedule, jot it down in your planner to stay ahead of assignment due dates
  • Highlight exam and midterm dates to accommodate studying time

Utilize Your Resources

  • Colleges have many resources to help the transition from high school to college
  • Colleges have academic support, such as tutors and study centers
  • Colleges have well-being support and someone to talk to about your anxiety or anything else you want to share
  • Look up your campus map to find directions to your classes
  • Talk to your professors. They are there to help you succeed.

Remember college isn’t only about getting a higher education; it’s a place where you can prepare yourself for your career. Allow yourself to be independent and make your own choices. Everything you do will help you grow as a person, not just academically. It can absolutely be terrifying starting college if you feel anxious or scared; seeking counseling can be a good first step to feeling secure.

If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety about starting college, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling and Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ, or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) – 368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

References

University of Fear and anxiety: How to pass your freshman year of college. Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA. (2018, July 6). https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/university-fear-and-anxiety

Relationships and Money: Money problems could be affecting your relationship

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Relationships and Money: Money problems could be affecting your relationship

By: Michelle Cocone

Money doesn’t usually get discussed in relationships until it becomes a hardship. When it does occur, you and your partner might find yourselves in a repetitive argument, leading to stress. According to Psychology Today, about 70% of the population in the U.S. is married; they might face money problems throughout their marriage. It’s not uncommon to have differences in handling money as people are raised differently. It’s never too late to discuss finances with your partner to improve your relationship moving forward. As well as it’s never too early to establish financial goals to promote a healthy relationship. There are three key questions to discuss with your partner about money problems.

  • What did your parents teach you about money?
  • What are your financial goals?
  • What are your fears about money?

Typically the information we have about managing money we learn from our parents. If your parents taught you how to keep track of bills, save money, and credit card management, then you have a good understanding of how to deal with money. Whereas some people had parents who were always late on bills, lost track, didn’t save money, and probably didn’t manage money well. Talk to your partner about financial goals and how you can combine them to fit both your needs. Remember you are a team with your partner and you are working together to improve your financial situation. Discuss the fears you have about money, which is where the money problems could be coming from. Set up a time to sit down and discuss creating a spending plan that works for both of you. Discuss how to divide the finances to help establish a baseline. Additionally, use any money left over to spend quality time as this will help relieve stress about money. Good communication about money problems will improve relationships and help avoid any anxiety/stress. When a couple suffers from anxiety or stress about financial hardship in their relationship, they may benefit from therapy to address the underlying psychological issues.

If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety or stress about financial hardship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling and Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ, or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) – 368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

References

Klontz, B., & Gresham, M. (2015). Happy couples: How to avoid money arguments. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/money/conflict

Langabeer, J. (2022, December 7). The psychological impact of money on relationships. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-make-better-choices/202212/the-psychological-impact-money-relationships

Toxic Relationships and their effects on Mental Health

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      Mental Health/ Toxic Relationships

By: Ingrid Guevara

A relationship where the behaviors of one person in the relationship are emotionally and, in some cases physically damaging to the other, is what is defined as a toxic relationship. In a toxic relationship you see behaviors like: constant belittlement, guilt-tripping, extreme jealousy, blaming and using manipulation to fulfill personal desires. Such behaviors take a tremendous toll on a person’s mental health. Toxic relationships lead to decline in self-esteem, energy levels and your overall happiness. Being in a toxic relationship creates feelings of insecurities and self -doubt which also leads the person to live in extreme caution while in the relationship. Realizing that a relationship is toxic is a crucial step in prioritizing and protecting your mental health. Then comes taking steps to setting boundaries, seeking support from loved ones or professionals and engaging in activities that bring you joy, all things that promote healing and personal growth. Always keep in mind that everyone deserves a nurturing and healthy relationship. It is okay to step away from relationships that negatively affect your mental health because your mental health is crucial and should always be put first.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

References:

https://primebehavioralhealth.com/how-toxic-relationships-affect-your-mental-health/#:~:text=Toxic%20relationships%20can%20severely%20affect,navigate%20the%20relationship%20with%20caution.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

What is CBT?

                Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on modifying and changing dysfunctional and intrusive thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. CBT is influenced by the idea that thoughts influence behavior; therefore, the job of the psychotherapist is to talk to the patient and help uproot negative and irrational beliefs, and then change them into newer and more positive ones. CBT is distinct from other therapies because it focuses on the present, rather than the past. What are you thinking right now? Are there any harmful thought patterns that usually emerge? What are you thinking when you begin to feel anxious?

                This form of psychotherapy is appropriate for all ages including children, adolescents and adults. A clinician or therapist will likely practice CBT with a patient when the patient is demonstrating severe symptoms of anxiety, stress, and negative and disturbing thoughts or beliefs about their lives. A patient who engages in severe negative self-talk or low self-esteem due to negative beliefs about themselves or about life can tremendously benefit from CBT. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can also treat patients with conditions such as depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, phobias, and substance use disorder. CBT is also beneficial for people looking to improve their relationships and overall wanting to engage in a happier, healthier lifestyle.

Grief: Grieving Around the Holidays

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Grief: Grieving Around the Holidays

By Emily Ferrer

As the weather gets colder, the colorful leaves fall off the trees, and the holiday decorations start to light up the night, the feeling of the best time of the year starts to kick in. As merry and cozy as these holidays seem to be, they do not always have the same effect on everyone. Grieving around the holidays can feel extremely lonely, sad, and overwhelming. The first holiday season is always the hardest for individuals and families who have just lost someone close to them, such as a grandparent, parent, sibling, child, or other close relative that they would usually see during the holidays. The empty chair at the dining table during Thanksgiving, or the wonder of who is going to make the Christmas cookies this year can be extremely heartbreaking. Even after you feel as if you have started to feel better through your grieving process, the holidays can dig up more emotion than you have felt since losing your loved one. You may start to feel more down, tired, unmotivated, sluggish, and lonely. You may also start to get flashbacks of your loved one when they passed that may also make you feel as if you are grieving from the beginning all over again. As hard as the holiday season may be for grieving individuals and families, here are some tips to help make your holiday season a bit brighter this year[1]:

  • Surround yourself with people you love and care about. Being with a big group of people during the holidays after losing a loved one can help you feel less lonely and can also be a great opportunity to share stories about your loved one with your family.
  • Do not “cancel” the holiday. As tempting as it may be to forget about the holidays after losing your loved one it is important to keep it going and grieve along the way. Experiencing the holiday season after the death of a loved one is part of the grieving process from which you should not run away.
  • Create new traditions. Finding new traditions can also be a create way to cope during the holiday season. This can include changing the location of where holiday dinner is hosted, picking new family members to carve the turkey or make the Christmas cookies, or even coming up with a new holiday game to play to fill the emptiness that everyone may feel.
  • Practice self-care. Try not to indulge in alcohol or drugs during the holiday season to cope with your grief; instead, try journaling, spending time with friends, or physical activity to boost your mood. It is also important to let yourself feel any emotions that arise and to not fight the conflicting feelings of anger, sadness, joy, and happiness.
  • Seek professional help. It is important to be aware of your feelings during such a difficult time and recognize that if the holiday season is too much for you to handle to seek professional help to assist you during this challenging period.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief this holiday season and wants help, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

Sources:

[1] https://www.vitas.com/family-and-caregiver-support/grief-and-bereavement/holidays-and-grief/coping-with-grief-during-the-holidays

Mental Health: What can Family Members do to Promote Positive Mental Health?

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Mental Health: What can Family Members do to Promote Positive Mental Health?

By: Julissa Acebo

People often look to their family to find comfort and security. Family members affect the habits we develop, who we are, and who we become. Often families do not realize how they significantly contribute to the mental wellness of a person struggling from a mental disorder.


Below are some tips family members can do which promote mental well-being:

  1. Extend a Listening Ear
    • Provide an environment where every member is free to share their worries, problems, and even good things that life offers.
    • This alone can dramatically improve a person’s well-being
  2. Celebrate Small Wins
    • Motivates and boosts a person’s confidence
    • Shows that family members are proud and makes the person feel good about their achievements
  3. Attend Psychotherapy Sessions (family and/or individual sessions)
    • Enables all members to learn effective communication
  4. Make Everyone Feel Valued
    • Avoid behaviors that will make members feel sidelined (i.e. being overly harsh with one person. Be fair in the distribution of roles within the household, etc.)
  5. Eat Dinner Together
    • Eating dinner together at least once a week is a prime opportunity to talk, listen, and enjoy time together.

If you or someone you know is struggling with Mental Health please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

Sources:
https://www.mikeveny.com/blog/six-things-family-members-can-do-to-promote-mental-well-be.ing
https://www.mha-em.org/im-looking-for/mental-health-knowledge-base/wellness/86-improve-family-mental-health

Eating Disorders: How To Catch Them in Your Loved Ones

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

Eating Disorders: How To Catch Them in Your Loved Ones

By Emily Ferrer

Eating disorders are characterized by severe and persistent troubles related to eating behaviors, food, and weight[1]. There are many different types of eating disorders; however, the most common are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder. Nine percent of the entire population suffers from an eating disorder and 10,200 deaths are recorded each year due to an eating disorder[2]. After reading about how common they are, I am sure you are wondering, “How do I know if I or someone I know has an eating disorder?” There are many signs and symptoms associated with eating disorders[3]:

Anorexia Nervosa:

  • Extreme weight loss
  • Muscle weakness
  • Bone weakness
  • Amenorrhea
  • Brittle hair/nails
  • Always feeling cold
  • Obsession with food
  • Depression

Bulimia Nervosa:

  • Frequent trips to the bathroom after a meal
  • Chronic sore throat
  • Dental decay
  • Laxative/diuretic misuse
  • Large amounts of food disappearing
  • Fainting from excessive purging

Binge-Eating Disorder:

  • Weight gain
  • Eating very rapidly
  • Eating until very full
  • Eating even when not hungry
  • Hiding large amounts of food
  • Eating alone on purpose
  • Feeling guilty after eating large amounts of food

Eating disorders can be extremely serious if not treated. It is important to stay informed about the signs and symptoms of different eating disorders so you can find help for you or someone you know as soon as possible. Other general signs of eating disorders to look out for are a sudden obsession with food (cooking it, eating it, watching cooking shows/videos), social withdrawal, drastic changes in mood, new attitudes towards food, new dieting habits, self-harm, excessive exercise, obsession with calorie and step count, repeatedly weighing themselves, and body dysmorphia[4]

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

Sources:

[1] https://psychiatry.org/patients-families/eating-disorders/what-are-eating-disorders

[2] https://anad.org/eating-disorders-statistics/

[3] https://psychiatry.org/patients-families/eating-disorders/what-are-eating-disorders

[4] https://www.lifeworkscommunity.com/eating-disorders-treatment/how-to-recognise-the-early-signs-of-an-eating-disorder

Deep Brain Stimulation and Electroconvulsive Therapy: What are they?

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Deep Brain Stimulation and Electroconvulsive Therapy: What are they?

By Emily Ferrer

Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) is a brain surgery involving the implantation of electrodes in certain areas of the brain to treat different movement disorders such as OCD, dystonia, Parkinson’s disease, and epilepsy as well as other disorders such as depression and drug addiction[1]. These electrodes produce electrical impulses to regulate certain brain functions[2] and are controlled by a pacemaker-like device. This pacemaker is placed in your chest with a wire that runs from the pacemaker to the electrodes that were inserted into your brain[3]. The parts of the brain that the electrodes are inserted into are specific to the patient and their specific symptoms. For example, for a patient who suffers from severe OCD the electrodes would be placed in an area of the brain called the ventral capsule/ventral striatum, which has been found to be very effective for patients suffering from treatment resistant OCD at about a 61.5% positive response rate[4].

Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) is a medical treatment usually preformed on patients who suffer from severe clinical depression and are treatment resistant to other options to help their condition[5]. The treatment involves small electric currents being passed externally through the patient’s skull between the voltage ranges of 180 to 460 volts. While there is still much controversy and incorrectly portrayed media about this procedure, it is significantly safer today than it was almost 100 years ago. The patient is put under general anesthesia at a hospital during the entire treatment and wakes up after not feeling anything from the procedure. The only thing patients feel after the completion of the treatment is an increase in positive mood. A study done in 2007 revealed that out of the patients who did and did not receive ECT for their treatment resistant depression, 71% of the participants in the experimental group, that received ECT,  found they had a positive response. This is significant when compared to the control group, who did not receive ECT, where only 28% of the participants found they had a positive response to just antidepressant medication[6].  ECT has gained a lot of popularity recently because of how quickly and effectively you feel the effects after a few treatments. The positive effects increase even more quickly when combined with psychotherapy in between the ECT treatments.

If you or someone you know is experiencing OCD or major depressive disorder and are interesting in pursuing these treatments, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

Sources:

[1] https://atm.amegroups.com/article/view/16268/html

[2] https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/deep-brain-stimulation/about/pac-20384562

[3] https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/deep-brain-stimulation/about/pac-20384562

[4] https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-dbs/#:~:text=Another%20important%20development%20for%20treatment,targeted%20areas%20of%20the%20brain.

[5] https://www.webmd.com/depression/electroconvulsive-therapy

[6] https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1600-0447.1997.tb09926.x

Parasomnia: Nightmares in Adults

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Parasomnia: Nightmares in Adults

By Lynette Rivas

Nightmares are supposed to diminish as you grow up, right? While this is true for most of the population, it is not the case for some individuals. Research shows that between 2% and 8% of the adult population experiences frequent and distressing nightmares, otherwise known as parasomnia.

Nightmares are realistic and vividly disturbing dreams that awaken you from sleep. They most often occur during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, which is when most dreaming takes place, and occur closer to morning hours. Nightmares may include:

  • Vivid and upsetting dreams
  • Dreams involving threats to safety
  • Being awoken from the dream
  • Feeling anxious, scared, or sad as a result from the dream
  • Not being able to fall back to sleep due to the dream

For adults, nightmares are often spontaneous, but for some, there may be an underlying issue that can be used to explain these dreams. Nightmares can be triggered by stress, trauma, sleep deprivation, substance abuse, medications, or by simply watching a scary movie. Although nightmares occur occasionally compared to normal dreams, they are considered a disorder if they:

  • Occur frequently
  • Cause major distress throughout the day, such as anxiety or fear
  • Cause problems with concentration or memory
  • Cause daytime sleepiness

If these symptoms are occurring, then it is time to consult a doctor about possible treatments. The doctor will determine if the solution is through treatments and medication, or will give a referral to a psychologist or psychotherapist. Debilitating and frequent nightmares, or parasomnia, is a serious condition that can alter an individual’s life, so it is important to seek help if they occur.

If you or someone you know is experiencing debilitating/frequent nightmares please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/nightmare-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353515

https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/nightmares-in-adults#:~:text=Nightmares%20in%20adults%20can%20be,to%20have%20the%20condition%20themselves.

https://iconscout.com/illustration/nocturnal-panic-attack-5222908