Relationship

Relationships: How to Maintain Long Distance Relationships

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Relationships: How to Maintain Long Distance Relationships

By Colleen Susanto

Long distance relationships aren’t easy. We always want to be with the person we love, stay by their side, and spend time with them. Our emotional and mental well-being are very much important and relationships affect these.  A long distance relationship or LDR requires the proper attention for it to keep blooming. It’s easy to feel hopeless, but being in an LDR can bring out the best in partners.

As we all probably know, communication is the key. Whether in an LDR or not, it’s the backbone of a relationship and it becomes more crucial when miles apart. Set clear expectations on how to communicate with your partner. Another key is honesty. In an LDR, transparency matters even more. Talk about your feelings with your partner and open up about how you feel whether you feel sad, insecure, angry, or happy. Hiding emotions creates unnecessary tension between you and your partner.

Just because you are not next to each other, doesn’t mean you can’t share your world. Small gestures help create a sense of connection. You can talk about your daily experiences or send random pictures to make your partner included. Long distance relationships require patience, communication, and trust, but they can be deeply rewarding. When both partners put in the effort, distance can strengthen the bond rather than break it. Remember that it’s not the miles between you, but it’s the love between the two of you that does.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or relationships, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling and Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ, or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201)-368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

https://wellbeing.jhu.edu/blog/2022/07/22/how-to-have-a-healthy-long-distance-relationship/

https://bumble.com/en/the-buzz/longdistancetips

Relationships and Money: Money problems could be affecting your relationship

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Relationships and Money: Money problems could be affecting your relationship

By: Michelle Cocone

Money doesn’t usually get discussed in relationships until it becomes a hardship. When it does occur, you and your partner might find yourselves in a repetitive argument, leading to stress. According to Psychology Today, about 70% of the population in the U.S. is married; they might face money problems throughout their marriage. It’s not uncommon to have differences in handling money as people are raised differently. It’s never too late to discuss finances with your partner to improve your relationship moving forward. As well as it’s never too early to establish financial goals to promote a healthy relationship. There are three key questions to discuss with your partner about money problems.

  • What did your parents teach you about money?
  • What are your financial goals?
  • What are your fears about money?

Typically the information we have about managing money we learn from our parents. If your parents taught you how to keep track of bills, save money, and credit card management, then you have a good understanding of how to deal with money. Whereas some people had parents who were always late on bills, lost track, didn’t save money, and probably didn’t manage money well. Talk to your partner about financial goals and how you can combine them to fit both your needs. Remember you are a team with your partner and you are working together to improve your financial situation. Discuss the fears you have about money, which is where the money problems could be coming from. Set up a time to sit down and discuss creating a spending plan that works for both of you. Discuss how to divide the finances to help establish a baseline. Additionally, use any money left over to spend quality time as this will help relieve stress about money. Good communication about money problems will improve relationships and help avoid any anxiety/stress. When a couple suffers from anxiety or stress about financial hardship in their relationship, they may benefit from therapy to address the underlying psychological issues.

If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety or stress about financial hardship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling and Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ, or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) – 368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

References

Klontz, B., & Gresham, M. (2015). Happy couples: How to avoid money arguments. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/money/conflict

Langabeer, J. (2022, December 7). The psychological impact of money on relationships. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-make-better-choices/202212/the-psychological-impact-money-relationships

Domestic Violence and Sports

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment
Vector illustration

Domestic Violence and Sports
By: Camillia Ghavami


When we watch sports games many of us feel passionate about whether our teams win or lose. Many find excitement in watching their favorite teams battle it out for the win, others may be terrified.


Tubi’s famous Super Bowl commercial in 2023, that made it seem like someone was changing the channel, is an example of the fear many women live in while watching sports games. Some may have laughed the prank off with their families, while those in more aggressive households were met with terrifying outbursts of violence. One woman described her experience with her boyfriend violently screaming at her to find the remote and then punching a hole in a wall. Another woman who worked at a sports bar described the whole bar screaming profanities at her.

The reaction to this commercial is bringing to light a relationship few know about between sports and domestic violence. More and more studies are showing that there is a relationship between domestic violence and the wins and losses of professional football teams. Empirical analyses show that in the US, there are more domestic violence arrests on Sundays when there are NFL games than on Sundays when there are no games played. This relationship is not just found in the US. In England, domestic violence reports rose by 38% when the national soccer team lost. Even when the team won, domestic violence still rose by 26%. The biggest cause of this rise in domestic violence might have to do with whether the team wins or loses. One study found upset losses (a team loses when it was predicted to win by 4 or more points) led to a 10% increase in domestic violence by men while the rise in violence after other types of losses (like when the games were expected to be close) were small. This rise in violence is even larger when the games are more important.

The problem of domestic abuse is an epidemic that runs rampant in this country. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced any form of physical violence done by an intimate partner. Additionally, 1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner. While of course all these instances were not done in reaction to a sports game, imagine if during the next big sports game, famous athletes came together and denounced domestic violence. Maybe this would lead to a new turn in our culture, where the possibility of someone changing the channel during the Super Bowl is not met with violence.


If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic violence, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

References:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3712874/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/making-sense-chaos/202009/nfl-losses-are-associated-increased-domestic-violence
https://trinitonian.com/2023/03/02/how-sports-culture-is-connected-to-domestic-violence-and-abuse/#:~:text=According%20to%20a%20study%20conducted,when%20no%20games%20are%20played
https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS
https://www.themarysue.com/that-viral-tubi-superbowl-commercial-had-some-real-life-consequences-that-cant-be-ignored/


Relationships & Long Distance: Strategies to Succeed

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Relationships & Long Distance: Strategies to Succeed

By Caroline Buchanan

One of the ultimate tests for a romantic relationship is maintaining the relationship despite the distance. As a result, this could lead to distinct challenges and obstacles. While research from 2018 suggests that couples who live farther than an hour apart tend to break up, at least 60% of partnerships still make their long distance relationship succeed. What are these people probably doing to make it work? The best answer seems to be making the distance work for your relationship, and not working around it (Psych Central). There are strategies that can be implemented to help manage and avoid these common roadblocks.

Strategies:

  • Communication

Your communication method may be the key difference in whether your relationship lasts or falls apart. Phone calls or video calls should be used for heartfelt conversations or heavier discussions. Arguments in text based conversations can lead to misinterpreting the intention behind a message. Use texting mainly for casual contact such as “good morning” and “enjoy your day” type messages.           

  • Acknowledging Fear-based behaviors

 Long distance relationships tend to bring out fears: Fear that the other partner doesn’t care anymore or is going to leave you for someone else. While it’s not uncommon to feel these fears, it is important to recognize these negative thinking patterns. If you are open and clear in your communication with your partner, this may help prevent or subside fears. Let your partner clarify situations that may be bothersome to you.

  • Intimacy

 If you both are comfortable in your relationship, you could imitate the physical connection and enjoy pleasure together by trying erotic conversations, video sex, or phone sex. Make sure you are open and honest about your expectations in engaging in these activities.

While it requires intent and effort, maintaining love in a long-distance relationship is possible. Take the time to think about seeking the help of a mental health professional if you’re experiencing challenges or feeling anxiety in your relationship. This would help you develop specific skills to be able to establish secure bonds.

If you or someone you know is struggling in a long distance relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-make-long-distance-relationships-work

Healthy Romantic Relationships

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Healthy Romantic Relationships

By: Arya Patel

            Healthy romantic relationships have many characteristics to keep the relationship stable. Some important characteristics are mutual respect, good communication, self-confidence, shared responsibility, and problem solving. Mutual respect means that each person values who the other person is and understands the other person’s boundaries. Good communication means having honest conversations and being open to speak about difficult topics. Self-confidence in relationships means when dating partners have confidence in themselves; it can help their relationships with others. It shows that they are calm and comfortable enough to allow others to express their feeling without judgement.

            Shared responsibility means taking turns doing the different tasks around the house and in any other matter. Some examples are arranging for meals whether for restaurant reservations, take-out, or cooking, making social arrangements with family and friends, plan weekend activities and vacations, walk the dog, take out the trash, clean the house, pay bills, etc. The last characteristic is problem solving. Dating partners can learn to solve problems and identify new solutions by breaking a problem into smaller parts or by talking through the situation.

These are some characteristics which can help to keep relationships stable.

If you or someone you know is struggling with unhealthy romantic relationships, contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Psychotherapy & Psychiatric Services. Contact our Manhattan, NY or Paramus, NJ offices respectively at (201)368-3700 or (212)722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

References:

https://youth.gov/youth-topics/teen-dating-violence/characteristics

https://www.lyrahealth.com/blog/sharing-responsibilities-is-there-an-equitable-solution/

Toxic Relationships and their effects on Mental Health

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      Mental Health/ Toxic Relationships

By: Ingrid Guevara

A relationship where the behaviors of one person in the relationship are emotionally and, in some cases physically damaging to the other, is what is defined as a toxic relationship. In a toxic relationship you see behaviors like: constant belittlement, guilt-tripping, extreme jealousy, blaming and using manipulation to fulfill personal desires. Such behaviors take a tremendous toll on a person’s mental health. Toxic relationships lead to decline in self-esteem, energy levels and your overall happiness. Being in a toxic relationship creates feelings of insecurities and self -doubt which also leads the person to live in extreme caution while in the relationship. Realizing that a relationship is toxic is a crucial step in prioritizing and protecting your mental health. Then comes taking steps to setting boundaries, seeking support from loved ones or professionals and engaging in activities that bring you joy, all things that promote healing and personal growth. Always keep in mind that everyone deserves a nurturing and healthy relationship. It is okay to step away from relationships that negatively affect your mental health because your mental health is crucial and should always be put first.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

References:

https://primebehavioralhealth.com/how-toxic-relationships-affect-your-mental-health/#:~:text=Toxic%20relationships%20can%20severely%20affect,navigate%20the%20relationship%20with%20caution.

Depression: How Does it Affect Relationships

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment
Depression: How Does it Affect Relationships

By: Jasmyn Cuate

Depression is one of the most common types of mental illness that Americans struggle with each day affecting approximately 1 in 6 Americans. Depression is characterized by feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness, irritability, angry outbursts, or low frustration tolerance, loss of interest in or ability to enjoy usual activities, sleep disturbance, fatigue and lack of energy, appetite disturbance, agitation, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, difficulty concentrating, remembering things, making decisions, recurring thoughts of death, and thoughts of suicide.

Many individuals struggling with depression describe it as living in a heavy fog where you lose clarity about your life, start to have self-doubt, changing the way you view friends, family, and partners as well as how you think they view you.

Although many relationships experience problems, a partner dealing with depression or trying to help their partner overcome depression, may find themselves having more challenges to their relationship. Depression can cause overwhelming emotions such as detachment, distrust, and vulnerability. It can cause the partner to pay little attention to the other partner, be less involved, more irritable, start arguments, and have trouble enjoying time together. Factors such as high levels of conflict, lack of communication, difficulty resolving problems, and withdrawal can lead to depression.

Untreated depression can cause a cycle of self-destructive behaviors that can tear relationships apart. Research has shown that when one member of a couple has depression, there is an impact on the well-being of the other partner as well. In fact, BMC Public Health has found that partners of those with mental illnesses, show signs of anxiety and depression themselves.

If you or someone you know is seeking therapy for depression or experiencing relationship problems due to depression, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/depression/signs-depression

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/mind-guest-blog/the-warning-signs-that-depression-is-affecting-your-relationship/

Low Maintenance Might be a Bad Thing

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By Katie Weinstein

In our society low maintenance is always seen as a good or neutral thing. People who are low maintenance are seen as flexible, nice, and easy going. If you are low maintenance meaning you can walk out the door without spending an hour doing your hair and makeup that is great, but if you are a low maintenance friend or partner out of fear of asking people to meet your needs, it is time to set boundaries and begin advocating for yourself.

Some people become high maintenance because their parents downplayed their feelings or were not able to meet the needs of their child for reasons such as working multiple jobs, having another child who was high-need, or suffering from an addiction problem. Other people become high need because peers labeled them as dramatic or they were excluded in school so learned to become an easy friend so they shut down their needs. As a result, people learn to be low maintenance so that they take up as little space as possible. In reality, if you’re low maintenance as a result of fear of asking people to meet your emotional needs and coming across as needy, it can take a toll on you.

It is important to first start with identifying what your needs are and what makes you happy. You also need to remind yourself that your needs are valid and it is normal to ask things of people. You are not being overly sensitive or dramatic. While it might seem horrifying to ask people for things, build up the confidence to set boundaries and tell people how you feel. True friends or partners will stick around even if it takes some getting used to. It is also important to tell yourself a new narrative about your needs. Instead of telling yourself that you are dramatic, tell yourself you are advocating for yourself. Once you stop being so low maintenance your confidence will improve, you will build better relationships, and people will stop using you. It is important to get as much in a relationship as you give. If you need help identifying your needs, building your confidence, or advocating for yourself, therapy might be a great option for you.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-generations/202101/are-you-too-low-maintenance?collection=1151944

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-self/202104/why-some-people-feel-sad-after-sex

If you or someone you know is low maintenance and seeking therapy, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Bipolar Disorder: Loving someone with bipolar disorder, the ups and downs

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Bipolar Disorder: Loving someone with bipolar disorder, the ups and downs
By Zoe Alekel

Loving someone with bipolar disorder can be a challenge if you don’t have the right tools and knowledge to help both you and your loved one. The first step in loving someone with bipolar disorder would be to understand what it means to be bipolar. Although you may never know exactly how your loved one feels, it is important to understand and educate yourself about their behaviors and emotions. According to the Mayo Clinic, bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). To understand what your loved one is going through, it is key to remind yourself that your loved one can’t always control these emotional mood swings—and more importantly it is not a reflection of you or how they feel about you.

It is understandable that it can be difficult to understand these seemingly sudden and intense mood swings, and your loved one struggling with bipolar disorder may already know this and feel bad about how it affects you. Make sure you approach them with kindness, and always ask them what you can do to help them. Sometimes space and understanding that the mood swing will pass is enough support for your loved one. No matter how involved or uninvolved they want you to be with their mental health, always respect their wishes.

One thing you can do to help you cope with your loved one’s bipolar disorder is to find others that have loved ones with bipolar disorder as well. Additionally, you can reach out to a therapist to share your feelings and the struggles that you experience as someone who has a loved one diagnosed with bipolar disorder. A way you can further educate yourself on bipolar disorder is to visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website. NAMI provides credible information for those with loved ones diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and suggests you can try the following to help a family member or friend with bipolar disorder:

  • Recognizing and preventing serious mood episodes/ mood swings
  • Being able to recognize the warning signs of mania and depression
  • Making sure your loved one is taking their medication regularly and consistently (as directed)
  • Communicating and making time to talk to your loved one about their feelings when they feel ready
  • Remaining calm and rational with your loved one
  • Keeping a positive attitude and a clear mind to help your loved one the best you can
  • Reaching out for psychological support for you and your loved one

If you or someone you know is struggling with bipolar disorder, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources: https://nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Bipolar-Disorder/Support#:~:text=NAMI%20and%20NAMI%20Affiliates%20are%20there%20to%20provide,about%20bipolar%20disorder%20or%20finding%20support%20and%20resources.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201206/bipolar-disorder-loving-someone-who-is-manic-depressive

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355955#:~:text=Both%20a%20manic%20and%20a%20hypomanic%20episode%20include,sprees%2C%20taking%20sexual%20risks%20or%20making%20foolish%20investments

Image Source: https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=Yu1OAouO&id=1B4D516A8A17EF4EE248CCCBAD2EC46DA7E6585F&thid=OIP.Yu1OAouOT_6cQM6Ql4oDYQHaLW&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fi.pinimg.com%2foriginals%2f13%2fbb%2f82%2f13bb82bf3d3c1b28a560d610c2d17fad.jpg&exph=1128&expw=736&q=loving+someone+with+bipolar+disorder&simid=608040637685434558&ck=DC1BFB40548A0FA375883D67352A1C1F&selectedIndex=21&FORM=IRPRST&ajaxhist=0

Marriage During Covid-19

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

    By: Sarah Cohen

    During Coronavirus, a lot of extra strain and anxiety have been placed on marriages. While research has shown that disasters uncover strengths in relationships it can also reveal issues. Even in the best relationships, we still always need a little bit of space from each other. 

    Since Coronavirus has begun, applications for divorce have risen greatly in the Chinese city of Xi’an. While divorce rates do increase during times of stress, this is unprecedented. There aren’t just changes in routine and close contact without breaks, there are many other factors influencing marital stress during these times. An increased amount of new anxiety about health and keeping safe from Covid-19, unemployment and therefore financial insecurity, caring for elderly relatives with reduced strength immune systems, lacking social connection outside of the spouse, dealing with childcare and school issues, or simply managing chores and uncertainty about what will be in the future are just a few of the issues that could be causing marital stress. In addition, couples may be using different coping mechanisms during stressful times which clash with the other spouse. One might be active and attempt to be cheerful while the other might be hopeless and passive.

    There are many ways to fight against this marital strain, here are a couple ways to combat it. By picking your battles you can limit the amount of arguments and issues you create in the home. Even further, you can put a time limit on your arguments in order for them not to affect every moment of the day, when the time limit is up you can put it all behind you. Create some alone time, when you make boundaries stick to them. Another way to get some alone time and be active is to exercise, even just by taking a walk. Speaking to other people over the phone or video chat so your spouse isn’t the only person you talk to is another good way to make sure you can have a little break. Lastly, focus on survival during these difficult times not creating issues and rifts between you and your partner.

    If you or someone you know needs support with their marriage, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-discomfort-zone/202004/will-coronavirus-infect-your-marriage

    https://time.com/5811146/coronavirus-married-relationship/