Shyness and Introversion

Shyness and Introversion

By Crystal Tsui

We all know someone who prefers to stay in rather than go out and party or someone who barely talk in a group setting. We may call them shy, quiet, or maybe socially awkward. But they may just be an introvert. Introversion and shyness are often times used together. However, shyness revolves around the fear of negative judgment while introversion is the preference for quiet, minimally stimulating environments. So it is possible for a person to be a shy extrovert, where the individual is afraid to speak up, fearing negative judgment, more so than exhausted in a certain social situation.

Despite the difference, there is also an overlap between shyness and introversion, e.i. many shy people are introverted. Some people are born with “high-reactive” temperaments that predispose them to both shyness and introversion. A shy person may become more introverted over time, motivated to discover the pleasures of solitude, other minimally stimulating social environments, and to move away from judgments. On the other hand, an introvert may become shy after continually receiving the message that there’s something wrong with them.

There’s a shared bias in our society against both shyness and introversion. Neither trait is welcomed in our society because studies have shown that we rank the fast and frequent talkers as more competent, likeable, and even smarter than slow and quiet talkers.

Here are 5 ways introverts can spend time that is deeply fulfilling and socially connected:

  1. Reading. Books transcend time and place. Studies have shown that reading fiction increases empathy and social skills.
  2. Enter a state of “flow” by doing work or a hobby that you love. Flow is the transcendent state of being, in which you feel totally engaged in an activity. People in flow don’t tend to wear the broad smiles of enthusiasm. When you watch them in action, the words “joy” and “excitement” don’t come to mind. But the words “engagement,” “absorption,” and “curiosity” do.
  3. Keep an informal quota system of how many times per week/month/year you plan to go out to social events and how often you get to stay home. This way you can plan which parties or get-togethers you can truly enjoy and which you don’t. So you are less likely to drive yourself mad thinking you should’ve stayed home.
  4. Have meaningful conversations.
  5. Spend time and show affection to the ones you love, whose company is so dear and comfortable that you feel neither over-stimulated nor anxious in their presence.

If you or someone you know is dealing with social anxiety or suffering from a disruption of their social life, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources:

https://www.quietrev.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/QR_ebookMay8-2015.pdf

https://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/15/opinion/sunday/the-rise-of-the-new-groupthink.html?_r=0

https://live.staticflickr.com/627/21427437162_910d54e08e_b.jpg

Low Self Esteem: Imposter Syndrome

Low Self Esteem: Imposter Syndrome

Low Self Esteem: Imposter Syndrome

By: Julia Keys

        Do you ever feel like no matter how much you accomplish, you still are inadequate compared to others around you? Feeling fraudulent about one’s achievements is so common that psychologists have given it a name: Impostor Syndrome.  People with Impostor syndrome doubt their own accomplishments and have a fear of being exposed as a fraud among their colleagues.  Despite the fact that people with Impostor Syndrome have great external evidence for their accolades, they still cannot be convinced that they deserve what they have accomplished.Those with Impostor Syndrome often attribute their success to external factors such as luck or good timing.

Impostor Syndrome can be caused by perfectionism and fear of failure. However, if you are afraid you won’t be perfect or that you will fail, then you will be discouraged from going after new goals! The constant pressure found in those with Impostor Syndrome can cause feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment, and at its worst, depression and anxiety.

One group of people that are especially prone to Impostor Syndrome are highly successful women.  The discrepancy between external achievement and internalization of achievement within successful women may be caused by our society’s standards. Gender roles have greatly shaped what it looks like to be a successful man versus what it looks like to be a successful woman. Successful men are stereotypically in positions of power while successful women are stereotypically in caretaker’s positions.  The type of achievements that constitute success in our culture, such as obtaining a high degree, being financially successful, or being promoted to a leadership position are more aligned with the stereotypes of male achievement, which may explain why when women achieve such goals, they feel like frauds.

No one should have to feel like a fraud, especially if they prove to be very high achieving. If you or someone you know can relate to the information above, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200912/why-do-so-many-women-experience-the-imposter-syndrome?collection=59879

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200912/why-do-so-many-women-experience-the-imposter-syndrome?collection=59879

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Mental Health Awareness

Mental Health Awareness

By Lauren Hernandez

               It is important to recognize how mental illness affects many people’s lives. Mental health awareness promotes the understanding and respect towards those who suffer from mental illnesses. It is important that we make attempts to normalize and destigmatize those struggling with mental illness. If you know of someone struggling with mental health issues, there are a multitude of resources that can help.

Available resources:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): www.nami.org

NAMI StigmaBusters is “a network of dedicated advocates across the country and around the world who seek to fight inaccurate and hurtful representations of mental illness”. NAMI StigmaBusters

Suicide.org – Suicide prevention, awareness, and support: www.suicide.org

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): www.nimh.nih.gov

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): www.samhsa.gov

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD): www.chadd.org

Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation: www.bpkids.org

The Trevor Project (LGBT mental health/suicide prevention): www.trevorproject.org

Anxiety Disorders Association of America: www.adaa.org

National Eating Disorders Association: www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org

Narcotics Anonymous: www.na.org

Gamblers Anonymous: www.gamblersanonymous.org

Alzheimer’s Association: www.alz.org

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: www.dbsalliance.org

National Autism Association: www.nationalautismassociation.org

Veterans Crisis Line (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs): 1-800-273-8255 (press 1)

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs – Mental Health: www.mentalhealth.va.gov

Mental Health America: www.mentalhealthamerica.net

If you or someone you know is struggling with any type of mental illness, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

 

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201105/mental-health-awareness-month-resources

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-your-adult-child-breaks-your-heart/201705/mental-health-awareness-month

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