Shopping Addiction? Can’t Save Money? That May Be A Real Issue

Shopping Addiction? Can’t Save Money? That May Be A Real Issue

By Erika Ortiz

             Most people like to spend and buy things, but some take that splurging a bit to the max and do it any opportunity possible. Shopping makes some feel good, however; some get this “high” feeling since the brain releases endorphins and dopamine as they shop. It’s one thing to shop while on a budget, while it’s another to shop with no budget in mind. All of the spending, unnecessary buying, and accumulation of debt is an actual issue called shopping addiction. It is imperative to break down shopping addiction and the different types. First, there is impulse buying which is buying something you did not plan on purchasing in the first place. It can range from buying a chocolate bar from the grocery store while waiting in line or buying your 50th pair of shoes. Compulsive buying is when you plan your shopping, but to an extreme and on unnecessary items. Compulsive buying is usually where the shopping addiction behavior occurs most. For example, say you did not do so well on an exam or had a bad day at work, your immediate solution is to go shopping afterward to make yourself feel better. Another type is bargain shoppers who think they are getting a steal price or great deal. They are still spending a lot instead of saving. Finally, there is bulimic shopping or circular shopping. These people buy and return just for fun; even though they are staying within their budget, they are wasting a lot of time and energy.

           Shopping addiction can be due to stress, loneliness, sadness, the need to fill a void, lack of control, avoidance of reality, depression, anxiety, etc. Nonetheless, this is a severe problem that needs an urgent solution because shopping addiction can lead to issues in relationships, growing debt, constant overspending, and even lying about spending. One way to help with this issue is to create a budget and try sticking with it. There are many resources online that can be great budgeting tools. It is critical to immediately get help if you have a very severe case of shopping addiction. Seek a mental health professional who can help you get to the root of the issue and understand what you are going through. Remember that there is hope and you can get through this.

If you or someone you know is struggling with a shopping addiction please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

Sources

https://www.ramseysolutions.com/budgeting/shopping-addiction

Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Spot the Signs

Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Spot the Signs

By Erika Ortiz

Abuse of any kind must never be tolerated. Whether it is from your boss, spouse, family member, or friend, it should not be taken lightly and must be acted upon quickly before it can escalate to serious issues. However, some forms of abuse are difficult to distinguish and can be especially hard to come to terms with when the abuser is a significant other such as a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. Physical abuse is a well-known form of abuse; however, emotional abuse has a subtle component, making it very tricky to catch. Here are some signs that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship:

Controlling and manipulative- Your partner may make you feel bad for going out or give you a curfew when you’re out with friends.

Gaslighting- Your partner can make you believe points in their arguments or things you have “said” that never happened.

Humiliation and embarrassment- They may insult you, make fun, and make you feel bad about yourself in front of others.

Silent treatment/Stonewalling- After an argument, they may “shut down” to make you feel abandoned and cut communication.

Threats- They may flat-out threaten you in any way, shape, or form possible.

There is quite a lengthy list of signs of emotional abuse. However, it is crucial to be proactive and seek help. These issues can cause or result in depression, anxiety, suicide, and PTSD. It can even lead to physical abuse if it hasn’t already occurred. Please seek professional help immediately if you see any signs of abuse or feel unsafe or unwell.

If you or someone you know is experiencing an emotionally abusive relationship or signs of it, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

 Sources

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/signs-emotionally-abusive-relationship

https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse#control-and-shame

Intergenerational Trauma: What is it?

Intergenerational Trauma: What is it?

By Erika Ortiz

            Intergenerational trauma is a term used to describe the difficulties or challenges a family has experienced for generations. Intergenerational trauma can inflict negative feelings and experiences through either an individual or the family as a whole. It usually starts with one family member who has had a traumatic experience. The family members then goes on to either repeat the action that traumatized them or project their feelings onto family members, continuing the cycle of trauma. Historical trauma can catalyze intergenerational trauma. For example, a great-grandmother survived the Holocaust; however, she now behaves in a very reserved and cold manner, so she struggles to express emotions such as love and compassion. Since she raised her children in such a manner, they may grow and have children and display that same type of avoidant relationship. Another example can be that a mother was sexually abused when she was younger, her daughter was also sexually abused, and her granddaughter suffered from that experience. The individual who suffers the trauma can pass down and then project the feelings that were felt at the time of the incident. Since they most likely did not receive the proper care and treatment to manage the mental health issues that they were experiencing, they relayed that same traumatic feeling to the next generation of their family. Hence, it is critical to seek professional help. Here are some ways to cope/deal with inter-generational trauma:

  • Break the cycle- interrupt and prevent the repetition of trauma
  • Hear each other out- although this can be difficult, listening is key to fixing
  • Get the professionals involved- the best way to cope with any mental health issue or fragmented relationship is to get a qualified professional’s help


Source:

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/intergenerational-trauma/

If you or someone you know is experiencing intergenerational trauma or other traumas, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com

Low Maintenance Might be a Bad Thing

By Katie Weinstein

In our society low maintenance is always seen as a good or neutral thing. People who are low maintenance are seen as flexible, nice, and easy going. If you are low maintenance meaning you can walk out the door without spending an hour doing your hair and makeup that is great, but if you are a low maintenance friend or partner out of fear of asking people to meet your needs, it is time to set boundaries and begin advocating for yourself.

Some people become high maintenance because their parents downplayed their feelings or were not able to meet the needs of their child for reasons such as working multiple jobs, having another child who was high-need, or suffering from an addiction problem. Other people become high need because peers labeled them as dramatic or they were excluded in school so learned to become an easy friend so they shut down their needs. As a result, people learn to be low maintenance so that they take up as little space as possible. In reality, if you’re low maintenance as a result of fear of asking people to meet your emotional needs and coming across as needy, it can take a toll on you.

It is important to first start with identifying what your needs are and what makes you happy. You also need to remind yourself that your needs are valid and it is normal to ask things of people. You are not being overly sensitive or dramatic. While it might seem horrifying to ask people for things, build up the confidence to set boundaries and tell people how you feel. True friends or partners will stick around even if it takes some getting used to. It is also important to tell yourself a new narrative about your needs. Instead of telling yourself that you are dramatic, tell yourself you are advocating for yourself. Once you stop being so low maintenance your confidence will improve, you will build better relationships, and people will stop using you. It is important to get as much in a relationship as you give. If you need help identifying your needs, building your confidence, or advocating for yourself, therapy might be a great option for you.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-generations/202101/are-you-too-low-maintenance?collection=1151944

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-self/202104/why-some-people-feel-sad-after-sex

If you or someone you know is low maintenance and seeking therapy, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Marriage During Covid-19

By: Sarah Cohen

During Coronavirus, a lot of extra strain and anxiety have been placed on marriages. While research has shown that disasters uncover strengths in relationships it can also reveal issues. Even in the best relationships, we still always need a little bit of space from each other. 

Since Coronavirus has begun, applications for divorce have risen greatly in the Chinese city of Xi’an. While divorce rates do increase during times of stress, this is unprecedented. There aren’t just changes in routine and close contact without breaks, there are many other factors influencing marital stress during these times. An increased amount of new anxiety about health and keeping safe from Covid-19, unemployment and therefore financial insecurity, caring for elderly relatives with reduced strength immune systems, lacking social connection outside of the spouse, dealing with childcare and school issues, or simply managing chores and uncertainty about what will be in the future are just a few of the issues that could be causing marital stress. In addition, couples may be using different coping mechanisms during stressful times which clash with the other spouse. One might be active and attempt to be cheerful while the other might be hopeless and passive.

There are many ways to fight against this marital strain, here are a couple ways to combat it. By picking your battles you can limit the amount of arguments and issues you create in the home. Even further, you can put a time limit on your arguments in order for them not to affect every moment of the day, when the time limit is up you can put it all behind you. Create some alone time, when you make boundaries stick to them. Another way to get some alone time and be active is to exercise, even just by taking a walk. Speaking to other people over the phone or video chat so your spouse isn’t the only person you talk to is another good way to make sure you can have a little break. Lastly, focus on survival during these difficult times not creating issues and rifts between you and your partner.

If you or someone you know needs support with their marriage, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-discomfort-zone/202004/will-coronavirus-infect-your-marriage

https://time.com/5811146/coronavirus-married-relationship/

Child Abuse and Its Effects

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Child Abuse and Its Effects

By: Vanessa Munera

 

Child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, acts upon or fails to act, causing injury, death, emotional harm, or risk of serious harm to a child. There are many different forms of child maltreatment which include physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, exploitation, and emotional abuse. In fact, many research studies have demonstrated over and over again that child abuse and neglect can result in permanent changes to the developing brain of a child. These changes in the brain structure can appear to be significant enough to potentially cause psychological and emotional problems later in adulthood. Changes can even result in physiological disorders and/or substance abuse.

The negative effects in the brain structure due to abuse and neglect are:

  1. Size in hippocampus is decreased. This is very important for learning and memory.

2. Size of the corpus callosum is decreased. This affects for emotion, impulses, and arousal, as well as communicating between the right and left hemispheres.

3. Size of the cerebellum is decreased. This can affect motor skills and coordination.

4.Decreased volume in the prefrontal cortex. This can affect behavior, balancing emotions and perception.

5. Too much activity in the amygdala, which is responsible for processing emotions and determining reactions to potentially stressful or dangerous situations.

6. Cortisol levels are either too high or too low, which can harm and cause negative effects to the body.

Child abuse can affect brain structure and disrupt chemical functions. However, child maltreatment can also affect the way a child behaves, socially interacts, and emotion regulation. These effects include:

  1. Feeling fearful most or all of the time
  2. Learning Deficits
  3. Unable to relax and constantly on alert, no matter the situation
  4. Can develop depression or an anxiety disorder, and/or both
  5. Social situations are more challenging
  6. Weak ability to process positive feedback
  7. Delay of developmental milestones in a timely fashion

 

If you or someone you love is struggling with the effects of child abuse, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling and Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/. 

References:

 

https://www.verywellmind.com/childhood-abuse-changes-the-brain-2330401

 

 

 

Abuse: Men in Abusive Relationships

By: Toni Wright

A relationship is supposed to be a union between two people where both parties feel safe and comfortable with one another. They are supposed to feel loved, accepted, and appreciated by one another. However, sometimes that is not the case. Oftentimes people talk about how the woman in the relationship is being abused by the man. However, we should not overlook the fact that men are often being abused in relationships. Though it may not be widely spoken about, the man can be and sometimes is the victim in the relationship.

Abuse is not always domestic; it can be verbal and/or emotional.

Your partner may show signs of:

Possessiveness:

  • They are constantly keeping track of your whereabouts i.e. wanting to know what you’re doing, where you are, and who you’re with most if not all of the time.
  • They try to control where you spend your time and who you spend it with and if you don’t listen to them, they get angry.

Jealousy:

  • They isolate you from your loved ones, family and friends
  • They accuse you of being disloyal to them or flirting with others.

Threats:

  • They threaten to leave you or threaten to hurt themselves if you leave.
  • They threaten to use violence against you or your loved ones.

 

Physical/Sexual Violence:

  • They hurt you or your loved ones.
  • They push, shove or punch you, or make you have sex with them or do something that you don’t want to do.

Humiliation:

  • They belittle you in front of family, friends, or even on social media by attacking your looks, intelligence, abilities, or mental health.
  • They blame you for the issues in your relationship and for their violent blowups.
  • They say hurtful things to you, such as, “No one else is ever going to love you.”

Men, it may be hard to leave an abusive relationship for numerous reasons such as you may feel as though they actually do love you despite their behavior, you feel ashamed, you want to protect your partner, have a lack of resources, the list goes on. However, help from your family, friends, and a therapist can aid you through this trying time. Being a battered partner is nothing to be embarrassed about. Please don’t ever be afraid to reach out to any/all of your resources for assistance.

If you or a male you know is suffering from any type of abuse in a relationship, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit https://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

Sources:

Help for Men Who Are Being Abused

https://psychcentral.com/blog/21-warning-signs-of-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship/

https://au.reachout.com/articles/signs-of-an-abusive-relationship

Image Source:

Battered Men – The other side of Domestic Violence

 

Anxiety: Social Media Anxiety Disorder

Anxiety: Social Media Anxiety Disorder

Tatyana A. Reed

Social media is very prominent in today’s society and nearly everyone has a social media account; whether it be Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. Although social media can be great for promoting things, it is also negatively promoting an Anxiety Disorder which is also known as Social Media Anxiety Disorder. According to ePainassist.com, “Social Media Anxiety Disorder is a mental illness that is related to generalized social anxiety, which is acquired when social media interferes with the mental and physical health of a human being.” This can mean that the idea of not being able to check your social media can cause you extreme anxiety. Your anxiety may rise because of the number of likes you’re receiving on a picture, the number of repost on your tweet, or just not getting as many views on your story. Since this new form of anxiety is now increasing, ever climbing with more technology, most people have never heard of the disorder. In this article we will delve more deeply into the topic.

According to The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), below are some symptoms of Social Media Anxiety Disorder:

  • Lying to others about how much time you spend on social media
  • Unsuccessfully trying to stop or reduce your use of social media
  • Loss of interest in other activities
  • Neglecting work or school to comment on Facebook or Twitter
  • Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when you are unable to access social media
  • Overwhelming need to share things with others on social media sites
  • Having your phone with you 24 hours a day to check your social media sites
  • Severe nervousness or anxiety when you are not able to check your notifications
  • Negative impacts in your personal or professional life due to social media usage

At first glance, the symptoms probably seem like they would have no physical or mental effects on a person. That’s a false assumption. For starters, being on a phone constantly will affect your eyes by drying them out which then leads to headaches and vision issues. Furthermore, sitting on your phone all day, instead of being active, can cause issues with weight, lower back problems, and neck strain. Using social media constantly can also feed into OCD, depression, and feelings of loneliness, according to ADAA. We think social media is all about being able to connect and share happy things with others but many people subconsciously begin to compare their lives or physical selves to others.

 

If you or a loved one appears to be suffering from SMAD, the licensed psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy can assist you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

References:

ePainAssist, Team. “Social Media Anxiety Disorder: Causes: Symptoms: Treatment: Recovery Tips.” EPainAssist, 15 Apr. 2019, http://www.epainassist.com/mental-health/social-media-anxiety-disorder.

Fadar, Sarah. “Social Media Obsession and Anxiety.” Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA, Nov. 2018, adaa.org/social-media-obsession.

n/a, n/a. “Social Media Anxiety Disorder All Occasion.” Zazzle.com, 2009, rlv.zcache.co.uk/social_media_anxiety_disorder_all_occasion-re4d11e0809ba45fbbbf7a966b6e2f527_xvuak_

Burnout in College Students (Part 1)

Tatyana A. Reed

With school coming into full swing, before we can even get that deep, it’s time to look at burnout, particularly in students. Have you ever taken on way too many tasks and at the last minute realized it’s causing an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion and being stressed out? Or have you ever been so busy you feel like nothing is going to get done correctly or done at all? If you have felt like this, nine times out of ten you were experiencing burnout.

According to pyschologytoday.com burnout is “a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress.” Burnout is not a widely talked about topic unless the causes have been detrimental to an individual. In this article, we will talk about the symptoms, affects, and how to avoid burnout.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STRESS AND BURNOUT

Before we can talk about the signs of burnout, we first have to understand that there is a difference between burnout and stress. David Ballard, member of the American Psychological Association, describes burnout as “an extended period of time where someone experiences exhaustion and a lack of interest in things, resulting in a decline in their job [academic] performance.”

SIGNS OF BURNOUT

Here are just some of the early indicators of college burnout according to collegeinfogeek.com:

  • Constant exhaustion
  • Lack of motivation
  • Constant frustration
  • Grades beginning to decline
  • Struggling to pay attention
  • Disengagement from friends and colleagues

WHAT MAY BE CAUSING YOUR BURNOUT 

A study conducted by University of South Maine in 2006 had 354 students answer questions that helped look at why burnout may be happening to college students. Here are the four most prevalent answers:

  • 13% said it was due to lack of motivation on their personal part
  • 25% attributed it to issues caused by their part time job ( finance and lack of time) and due to family issues
  • 5% said it was caused by a professor
  • And the most prevalent answer was because of having too many assignments on their plate

 

If you or someone you know is dealing with burnout, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

 

References:

Harrison, Mike. “Avoid College Burnout.” Great Lakes Christian College, 22 Jan. 2018, http://www.glcc.edu/avoid-college-burnout/ (PHOTO)

Jerry, Lisa M. “10 Signs you’re Burning Out — And What To Do About It.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 3 Jan. 2018, http://www.forbes.com/sites/learnvest/2013/04/01/10-signs-youre-burning-out-and-what-to-do-about-it/.

Stephanie Cushman & Richard West (2006) Precursors to College Student Burnout: Developing a Typology of Understanding, Qualitative Research Reports in Communication, 7:1, 23-31, DOI: 10.1080/17459430600964638

Vaiana, Dominic. “Burnout in College: What Causes It and How to Avoid It.” College Info Geek, 5 Mar. 2019, collegeinfogeek.com/student-burnout/

Passive Aggressiveness: Origins and How to Respond

Passive Aggressiveness: Origins and How to Respond

By Crystal Tsui

At one point or another, we have all seen or engaged in passive aggressive behaviors, whether it’s giving the silent treatment, making subtle insults, or sending one of those “as per my last email” emails. We do this because we are suppressing our anger or frustration from someone or something. Fear and anger are controlled by a region in the brain called the amygdala. Passive aggressiveness stems from that basic emotion of anger.

Anger is neither good nor bad. It is a basic, spontaneous, neurophysiological part of human emotion. As children, we were often scolded or punished for expressing anger. For example, throwing a temper tantrum is considered unacceptable. So at a young age, we started to perceive anger as taboo. As a result, we learned to suppress our feelings and engage in an indirect expression of hostility through subtle acts.

Children are most likely to act in a passive aggressive manner. Nonetheless, children are the most susceptible to change. Teaching our children that anger is just like every other emotion and directing their anger towards a positive, productive activity will help the child grow into an adult knowing how to manage their emotions properly. Some positive activities may include writing, exercising, drawing, meditating, and listening to music. These activities provide a form of distraction that can alleviate one’s mood, by stimulating another part of the brain that is not associated with the amygdala.

However, adults act this way as well because it’s easier to be passive than to be assertive and emotionally open. When children are taught to suppress their anger and they mature into an adult, it’s harder for them to stand up for themselves and to confront their source of anger.

It is best to avoid raising your voice, lecturing, or knee-jerk consequences that can exacerbate the situation. If an individual is trying to express their anger through communication, it is best to listen instead of reprimanding them for being angry.

When someone is passive-aggressive towards you, fight the urge to mirror their behavior. Instead confront the behavior because when passive-aggressive behavior is confronted directly and assertively, the hidden anger is weakened. Assertive communication and being emotionally open, no matter how hard it is, is the most effective way to acknowledge and accept anger. This builds a foundation for lifelong emotional intelligence and strong, secure relationships.

If you or someone you know has difficulty managing their anger, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201712/the-angry-smile-responding-passive-aggressive-behavior

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201709/how-respond-effectively-young-persons-anger

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-passive-aggressive-behavior-2795481

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/pixar/images/7/7a/Io_Anger_standard2.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/2000?cb=20150425021210