Month: February 2026

Abusive Relationships: Recognizing The Signs And Knowing When To Ask For Help

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

Abusive relationships: recognizing the signs and knowing when to ask for help

By: Aricia Stefanakys

When we think of the word “abuse” we often think of the physical aspects of it. Many people assume that abuse is solely physical. Unfortunately, people don’t realize they are in an abusive relationship because of this misconception. More often than not, people are actually experiencing emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is the act of using words and non-physical actions to control, hurt, or scare you. This is a more subtle form of abuse that can be tricky to detect until the relationship grows deeper.

What are some signs of emotional abuse?

  • Love bombing
  • Insults / name calling
  • Possessiveness
  • Intimidation
  • Disrespecting boundaries
  • Yelling
  • Gaslighting

The abuser uses tactics like love bombing to trap and manipulate the victim into thinking that despite their actions, they still love and need them. Love bombing is the act of showering the victims with compliments and affection in the goals of manipulating them later. They often start with joking and teasing until it eventually progresses into mocking and insulting. Once the victim expresses they felt hurt by their actions the abuser gaslights the victim into thinking they are in the wrong and misinterpreted what happened. They attempt to make themselves look perfect in front of others, making it even harder for others to see the abuse that is going on within the relationship ultimately closing the victim off from friends and family. It can also be difficult for the victim to convince themselves to leave their abuser because they don’t want to see the worst in their partner. The abuser may even apologize for their actions and blame it on their past or simply having a “bad day”.  Eventually this can escalate into physical abuse with the abuser making threats to hurt themselves or others. Other forms of abuse can also be financial, sexual, and even spiritual.

If you suspect you are being abused here are some things you should do…

  • Reach out to a friend and ask them for advice
  • Keep the phone locked and by you at all times in case you need to call for help
  • Keep track of everything your partner does that may seem like subtle abuse
  • Visit Lila helpline to find support services near you
  • Visit the Safety Net project for safety and privacy tips to keep yourself safe online
  • Call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-7233

Remember that you are not alone and there is always support out there. If you notice any signs of worsening abuse it might be in your best interest to leave the relationship as soon as possible. It is always better to be safe than sorry. Always put your safety first.

Sources:

If you or someone you know may be struggling with loneliness, or their mental health, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/

ADHD and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

ADHD and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

By: Chrisleny Paula

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental syndrome that has drastically spiked since the pandemic in 2020. This condition was originally thought of as a childhood condition that only affected kids, more commonly, boys. It is now known to be a condition that greatly affects adults with its long list of symptoms. Some of these include: inattentiveness, distractions, difficulty with focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity (restlessness and fidgeting). These are all things that can worsen as you get older and can even reach a point where it causes impairment. The APA described ADHD as “a neurodevelopmental syndrome of impaired unfolding and execution of self-regulation skills”.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one of the more effective treatments used for the condition. The therapy is used with adults, not children, and has been proven to be very effective in improving many of the internal problems that patients were having as a result of ADHD. These results were gathered through surveys conducted on the patients and their personal feelings as well as scales conducted before and after therapy. CBT focuses on raising awareness to the patient of their own behaviors in a way that helps the patient realize how these behaviors may be abnormal and how they are affecting their daily life. Awareness of a condition is the first step to getting better. CBT can also be used to treat anxiety and depression, which some patients with ADHD may also have.

If you or someone you know may be struggling with loneliness, or their mental health, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

References

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2909688/

https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/adult-adhd

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Sleep Disturbance

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

By: Sophia O’Rourke

Have you ever woken up out of a nightmare and wondered why?  Sleep disturbance is something we have all experienced, but studies suggest that sleep disturbance is much higher in those that suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).“Changes in sleep, and particularly REM sleep, are symptoms of psychiatric disorders, especially PTSD.”When we are asleep, we enter a phase of REM or Rapid Eye Movement sleep which is associated with vivid dreams. During this sleep cycle, our body attempts to sort and reprocess memories and emotions in order to move on and be able to absorb more. When a traumatized individual enters REM sleep, the brain can struggle to calm itself during sleep which may explain why nightmares and frequent waking are so common. Evidence shows that those who suffer from PTSD have a higher heart rate on average which could be caused by the increased sense of fight or flight which is also associated with higher levels of norepinephrine. Disruptions during REM sleep may suggest that the trauma cannot be processed effectively and might explain why PTSD symptoms can become more persistent with time, especially without treatment.

People with PTSD also report often having nightmares which may be reoccurring, this leads to the fear of falling asleep for some and can lead to insomnia. Lack of sleep can interfere with your daytime feelings, attitude and productivity which can make matters worse. Research indicates that those who suffer from PTSD are more likely to turn to substances and alcohol in order to cope with the trauma. These substances further stress your body and can lead to more fragmented REM sleep. If you find yourself sleepless and feel the need to rely on certain substances to aid in sleep, seek help from your doctor as soon as possible. 

When discussing REM sleep, it is also important to discuss the ways that it is related to EMDR Therapy. In this kind of therapy, the client is told to follow a moving object which is most often the therapist’s finger and recount/think about their trauma or traumatic event. The role that eye movements play in this kind of therapy is pivotal in reprocessing traumatizing memories without re-traumatizing the patient. Patients say that they do not feel the emotions as intensely as usual when participating in this kind of therapy and report lower trauma scores afterward. If sleep disruption or trauma symptoms are affecting your quality of life, trauma-informed therapies like EMDR can help restore both emotional balance and restful sleep.

If you or someone you know may be struggling with loneliness, or their mental health, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/.

                                                                   

 Sources

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7170365/

https://www.jneurosci.org/content/43/3/433

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Therapy for PTSD

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

By: Jessica Much

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a complex disorder affecting those who have experienced single or repeated trauma. The most commonly-known symptom of PTSD is flashbacks. Flashbacks occur when a person is reminded of the traumatic event by an environmental cue, known as a trigger, which leads to an episode of feeling as if they are experiencing the trauma all over again in real time. For instance, if someone who has been hit by a red car sees a red car while they are driving, it may remind them of the incident and cause them to have a vivid flashback of the event.

          For those who experience flashbacks, it may be hard to feel in control of their emotions, and they may feel helpless to stop them. However, there is a lesser-known therapy that can help ease the severity of flashbacks. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR) was created by Francine Shapiro in the 1980s to address trauma through physical stimulation as well as talk therapy. EMDR believes that traumatic memories are stuck within an individual’s conscious (causing flashbacks), and must be reprocessed and unstuck by the patient to alleviate symptoms and their severity.

          During this therapy, patients are verbally guided through questions and feelings about their memories while bilateral brain activity in the patient is stimulated by the therapist through various methods (most commonly side-to-side eye movement). This encourages the reprocessing of memories from the emotional right brain hemisphere to the more logical left brain. Doing this can help reduce the emotional intensity of memories, as well as allow patients to change their beliefs about the memory (“My sexual assault is my fault” can be modified to “I am not to blame for what happened to me”). Additionally, reprocessing memories can help address symptoms of PTSD that are not directly attached to a memory, such as not sleeping well, being generally fearful, or lashing out at others.

          EMDR therapy shows significant results in the treatment of PTSD, especially when combined with other forms of therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy. Studies show that 84%-90% of single-trauma victims no longer met the criteria to be diagnosed with PTSD after three 90-minute sessions, and 77% of multiple trauma victims no longer meet the criteria after only six 50-minute sessions.

          EMDR is a quick, effective, and science-based treatment for PTSD. If you are suffering from recurring nightmares, flashbacks, have gone through single/repeated trauma, experience unidentified emotional outbursts, or want to reframe how you recall negative memories, this therapy might be right for you.

If you or someone you know may be struggling with loneliness, or their mental health, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/ .

Sources

“Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).” Ttuhsc.edu, 11 June 2024, http://www.ttuhsc.edu/medicine/psychiatry/counseling/emdr.aspx.

‌American Psychological Association. “What Is EMDR Therapy and Why Is It Used to Treat PTSD?” Apa.org, 2023, http://www.apa.org/topics/psychotherapy/emdr-therapy-ptsd.

Stoneridgecenters. “3 Ways EMDR Therapy Benefits the Brain and Helps It Heal.” StoneRidge Treatment & Recovery, 3 Oct. 2022, stoneridgecenters.com/2022/10/02/how-emdr-therapy-benefits-the-brain/. Accessed 27 Jan. 2026.

Marijuana and The Brain

GalleryJudy Gurfein Leave a comment

By: Tori Ling

            Today, Marijuana has grown tremendously in popularity, but as a relatively new drug, are we sure what it is doing to our brains? According to the CDC, short-term effects of cannabis (within 24 hours of usage) include immediate impact on thinking, attention, memory, coordination, movement, and time perception. Long-term effects of cannabis can affect memory, attention, and learning. Using Marijuana before the age of 18 is especially harmful for the developing brain and can lead to permanent deficits (as listed above).

            In contrast, Harvard’s MIND investigated a longitudinal observational study of individuals using medical cannabis for various conditions and symptoms. Participants chose their own cannabis product, and were evaluated performing tasks at 3, 6, 12, 15, 18 and 24 months after their treatment begun. The results found that the patients using medical marijuana actually had better performance on cognitive tasks requiring executive function over time. Patients also described their improved mood, energy, sleep, and reduced use of conventional medications. Patients included in this study were generally above the average recreational use age. There has been preclinical data suggesting that cannabis may help boost the body’s aging endocannabinoid system. (The endocannabinoid system (ECS) is a crucial, complex cell-signaling network in mammals that maintains homeostasis by regulating mood, sleep, appetite, pain, and immune responses. When activated, it helps manage stress and physiological balance. )

            The National Institute of Health (NIH) states: “Adult chronic cannabis users with healthy controls, neural activation was measured in paradigms including tests of attention, cognitive controls, memory, decision-making, motor performance, and affective processing. Most studies have found changes in brain function, often without notable performance deficits” the NIH found that Schizophrenia patients who reported abusing cannabis actually had a better memory than those who were not using cannabis from Marijuana potentially reducing negative symptoms.

            Overall, Cannabis is not recommended for anyone under the age of 21, as it can cause permanent harm to your brain and its functions, but studies have found no evidence that adolescent cannabis use or dependence are associated with IQ decline or neurocognitive performance . However, Marijuana can be beneficial to those suffering from some chronic conditions. THC can “promote neurogenesis, restore memory and prevent neurodegenerative processes and decline in animal models of Alzheimer’s disease.” (National Institute of Health). THC can modulate memory and cognition in an age-and-dose dependent manner. Marijuana should be used on a case by case basis after being evaluated by a medical professional.

If you or someone you know is considering using Marijuana please contact your healthcare provider for more information.If you or someone you know may be struggling with loneliness, or their mental health, please contact our psychotherapy offices in New York or New Jersey to talk to one of our licensed professional psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively, at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment. For more information, please visit http://www.counselingpsychotherapynjny.com/