Fighting With Your Spouse: How You Indirectly Effect Your Child

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Being in a relationship has its stresses, but what happens if those stresses are greatly affecting the people you love? Conflict is natural and should be discussed in private however sometimes we do not realize who is listening. It has been found that children who witness conflict between their parents experience more negative behaviors and emotions than that of the average child. These include: decrease in emotional security, feelings of defenselessness, increased aggression, increased distress, and hyperactivity. Parents are role models; their actions are closely observed and usually repeated by their child. There is a higher chance that the child will become easily upset and throw tantrums because that is what they consider to be a normal reaction. Fighting also relays the message to the child that intimacy involves conflict and turmoil, causing the child to stray away from future intimate relationships. Another lasting effect is misplaced guilt. If parents become hostile towards each other and coincidently the same day the child made a mistake or got in trouble, the child might blame him or herself for the altercation.

Interestingly, Brown University conducted a study involving 54 children and their sleep habits. This particular study also consisted of interviewing both parents and children about life at home and any conflicts that had occurred. Over a series of comparing family information and sleep habits, the team discovered that children witnessing moderate to severe conflict at home lost an average of 30 minutes of sleep per night. This loss of sleep can effect a child’s development especially at a young age.

Specialists highly recommend finding a solution by positively communicating with your partner in front of the child to teach that disagreement is normal and can be dealt with in a constructive way.

If you believe that you or a loved one has or may have conflicts with their spouse; the psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling can help you. Please contact our Bergen County, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201)-368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment, or visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information

 

Sources: http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/effect-parents-fighting-kids-development-1032.html

http://news.healingwell.com/index.php?p=news1&id=530961

 

By: Jennifer Oscherician

 

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Self-Sabotage: Getting In Our Own Way

Does it ever seem as if you’re working against yourself? Do you feel like your own actions are counterproductive? If so, you may be self-sabotaging without even realizing it. Below are 6 things you might believe or say which could be causing detriment to your everyday life.

  1. Diminishing your accomplishments and feeling that you are “beneath” others: This includes feeling like your successes are more from luck than personal accomplishment, and feeling inferior and incompetent in comparison to others.
  2. Constantly beating yourself up: Repetitively focusing on your weaknesses (no matter how trivial your shortcomings are) and wondering why anyone would truly like you as a person are red flags for self-sabotage.
  3. Believing that you don’t have the right to ask for what you want or need: Not standing up for yourself and/or denying gifts or help because you don’t feel worthy of them are only pernicious to yourself.
  4. Seeing yourself as an outcast: You might feel as if you don’t belong anywhere and that you are unable to fit in with any group. Though it’s true that you may not fit into your current environment, people with true self-sabotaging beliefs think of themselves as “abnormal” in any setting.
  5. Not being able to trust yourself: This includes thinking that your own perceptions and judgments cannot be trusted. You might tell others that your opinions don’t count.
  6. Believing that others’ wellbeing comes before your own: Catering to someone else’s needs and feeling responsible for their welfare more so than for your own is not a healthy way of living.

If any of these thought patterns, beliefs, or tendencies sound like ones you or a loved one do, it is important to break free of them so you are able to live a healthier and happier life. Consider reaching out to the psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, social workers, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment.

Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Source: Seltzer, Leon F. “9 Ways Your Old Programming May Be Holding You Hostage.” Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, LLC, 22 Jan. 2015. Web. 25 Mar. 2016.

By: Scout H

 

 

Oxytocin: D.I.Y. De-Stressing

You might have heard of the word “oxytocin” before but may not be familiar with what it is. This important hormone is found in our bodies and is responsible for things such as bonding, de-stressing, pleasure, and social behavior. It turns out that there exists a multitude of ways you can manipulate your own oxytocin levels to your benefit! Here are ten ways which you can increase your levels and have a better day.

  1. Give money away. Whether you donate a few dollars, or buy a small gift for a friend, giving money away has been shown to increase oxytocin levels.
  2. Touch someone. You can give someone a handshake, but if you really want to benefit, grab a loved one and give them a hug!
  3. Use social media. Connect with someone virtually on your favorite social media platform. Even “liking” a photo or retweeting a post will do.
  4. Laugh. Watch a funny show or movie or see a comedy show. Better yet, bring a friend along!
  5. Get some air. Go outside for half an hour, walk around, and enjoy the fresh air. Bask in the sun and let your mind relax.
  6. Visit a shooting range. If there is a shooting range near you, try your hand at firing a gun at targets. While it might seem strange, studies have found shooting guns releases oxytocin.
  7. Call a friend. Have a chat with someone you care about. It doesn’t have to be a long phone call, just a brief check-in.
  8. Be around someone that trusts you. While you can’t force anyone to trust you, being around those that do is beneficial to your mental and emotional wellbeing.
  9. Chill out with music. Put the Mozart Pandora channel on or some other soothing sounds.
  10. Practice deep breathing. Try some deep breathing exercises: hold your breath for 8 seconds, breathe out for 8 seconds, breathe in for 8 second, and repeat.

Utilize a handful of these simple tips daily to give your day a boost!

If you believe that yourself or a loved one has or may have issues with stress management, anxiety, or depression, the psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, social workers, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling can help you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment.

Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

 

Sources:

Altucher, James. “10 Unusual Ways to Release Oxytocin Into Your Life.” Altucher Confidential. N.p., 01 Aug. 2012. Web. 03 Mar. 2016.

Dvorsky, George. “10 Reasons Why Oxytocin Is The Most Amazing Molecule In The World.” Io9. Gimodo, 7 Dec. 2012. Web. 03 Mar. 2016.

Pappas, Stephanie. “Oxytocin: Facts About the ‘Cuddle Hormone'” LiveScience. TechMedia Network, 04 June 2015. Web. 03 Mar. 2016.

By: Scout H

 

 

 

 

How to Recognize a Sociopath

Sociopaths: devious, controlling, cunning. If you ever come across someone with this toxic antisocial personality disorder, it is important to know how to recognize the signs for your own personal safety. These people repeatedly disregard the feelings of others while seeking only to please themselves. They are unable to have the ability to organize their emotions and therefore have no shame about their actions, regardless of how it makes those around them feel. Often, they find internal gratification from hurting others. Below are some warning signs to help you identify a sociopath:

  • A discrepancy between what the person says, and what the person does
  • Making excuses for themselves when they are caught in a lie
  • Changing the subject when they are caught in a lie
  • Beating around the bush when asked questions about the lie you caught them in or not answering them directly
  • Knowing others’ vulnerabilities and manipulating them for personal gain
  • Ability to understand laws and rules, but being unable to understand emotionally why those rules are in place
  • No feelings of shame when they know they have hurt other people
  • Repeatedly putting themselves in situations which could get them arrested
  • Disregarding the safety of themselves or others
  • Constant irritability, hostility, and antagonism
  • Performing cruel and gruesome acts on animals

If these warning signs sound like they apply to yourself or someone you know, it is very important to start therapy. With the help of a medical professional, the combination of medication and psychotherapy can help people with this personality disorder.

The psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, social workers, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling can help you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722 1920 to set up an appointment.

Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Sources:

“Sociopath X – ALL ABOUT SOCIOPATHS – Sociopathic Personality Disorder and Types.” D for Depression Depressive Psychological Disorders. Depression D, 2010. Web. 04 Mar. 2016.

By: Scout H

Dyslexia: Learning Disability Uncovered

Dyslexia one of the most common learning disabilities and is usually diagnosed during childhood. It is characterized by the inability to accurately and fluently recognize, decode, and spell words. Usually, dyslexia is uncovered when children are in school learning to read and to perform mathematical skills. They become frustrated when they are unable to do these things at the same level as their peers. Often, this creates a dislike of school and/or low self-esteem. Therefore, it is important to be on the lookout for the “warning signs” so this learning disability can be addressed as soon as possibility. Below are the main “signs” that may indicate your child might be struggling with dyslexia

  • Slow learning of new vocabulary words
  • Difficulty reading, writing, and spelling
  • Having trouble copying words or numbers from a book or the board
  • Problems identifying the differences between similar sounds or words

If any of these are evident, it is important to make an appointment with your child’s school psychologist or the Child Study Team. Testing for dyslexia can be done by those professionals or by an independent child psychologist or learning consultant. After pinpointing the child’s “weak” areas such as cognition, communication, sensory/motor, etc., a plan can be made based on their individual needs.

If you suspect that you or your child might have a learning disability (not limited to just dyslexia), the psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, social workers, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling can help you. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722 1920 to set up an appointment.

Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Source:

Perlstein, David, and Melissa Conrad Stoppler. “Dyslexia Symptoms, Types, Tests, and Treatment Information.” MedicineNet. MedicineNet, Inc., 10 Dec. 2015. Web. 10 Mar. 2016.

By: Scout H

 

 

Breakups: The 5 Stages of Moving On

Often, the end of a relationship can feel like a loss. In a second, lovers can turn into strangers and it is only natural to grieve over someone who played a significant part in your life. Although the path of moving on is different for everyone, here are five common stages that you might experience after breaking up.

  1. Denial. Our hearts play a big role in this stage, as we struggle to come to terms with the fact that our lives are about to drastically change. When the breakup is fresh, no one wants to think of having to start over and adjust to a life without their significant other. We often think of ways to get the person back or convince ourselves this is only temporary. You might even tell yourself the situation is a mistake and you and your partner will get back together soon.
  2. Anger. Once the reality begins to set in, we become angry with the situation and usually at our ex. “How could (s)he do this to me?” “I bet s(he) was cheating on me all along!” We might also become mad at our friends once hearing their opinions on the breakup. Although they might say some valid things, you are in no mindset to hear anyone who disagrees with you.
  3. Bargaining. To start, you could begin to bargain with your ex. “I’ll change”, “I’ll start being nice to your friends” or “You’re hurting the kids by walking away!” are some common things to say. People sometimes turn to a higher power and beg for the situation to be different.
  4. Depression. Now the reality has sunk in completely. You may feel like you do not want to leave your bed in the morning. You feel hopeless as if nothing will work out in the future now that this person is gone.
  5. Acceptance. Over time, you will acknowledge the loss and realize that you are slowly moving forward with your life. You might fall back into one of the previous stages, but remember that this is a process and you are taking things a step at a time.

 

If you’re struggling with a breakup or are having relationship problems, consider reaching out to the psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, social workers, or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling. Contact our Paramus, NJ or Manhattan, NY offices respectively at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722 1920 to set up an appointment.

Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Source: Kromberg, Jennifer. “The 5 Stages of Grieving the End of a Relationship.” Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, LLC, 11 Sept. 2013. Web. 10 Mar. 2016.

By: Scout H

 

 

Effects of Sleep Deprivation: The Importance of Beauty Sleep

Sleep-Deprivation[2]

Regardless whether you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl, a good night’s rest is extremely important for everyone. With midterms around the corner, students often engage in all nighters to study and completely disregard their body’s need for sleep. When people get seven or less hours of sleep, the effects can be detrimental to both their body and mind. When you are sleep deprived, your overall cognitive abilities become impaired due to your brain becoming exhausted. When people become sleep deprived, they have a lot more difficulty learning new things and both their long and short term memory are negatively affected.

A common side effect of sleep deprivation is micro sleep—when a person falls asleep for a few seconds or minutes and does not realize it. Micro sleep is completely out of people’s control if they are sleep deprived, regardless of their caffeine consumption, and can result in life threatening outcomes when driving. If people’s sleep deprivation continues long enough they are at an increased risk of experiencing hallucinations. For those previously suffering from manic depression, sleep deprivation is also known to trigger mania. Other mental risks include depression, paranoia, and even suicidal thoughts.

Sleep is also necessary for a person’s immune systems to properly function. When people are sleep deprived their body will become more susceptible to catching viruses, developing respiratory problems, and will take longer to recover from illness. If you are sleep deprived for a long enough time, you are at a higher risk of developing chronic diseases, such as diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. Some studies have found that sleep deprivation is also associated with weight gain, and a higher risk for obesity. So before you decide to pull an all nighter for that exam, remember that your health and safety needs to come first!

If you believe that you or a loved one is suffering from chronic sleep deprivation, the psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling can help you. Contact our Bergen County, NJ or Manhattan offices respectively at (201)-368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment.

Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Sources: http://www.healthline.com/health/sleep-deprivation/effects-on-body

By: Margalit I. Herzfeld

 

Depression: What They Don’t Tell You About Life After Graduation

              Staying up until crack of dawn, waking up for an 8 AM class, sitting through boring three hour lectures, hanging with friends, partying, having dinner at the dining hall, and cramming for an exam are all key components of the college experience. Even though you can only choose to have two out of the three aspects successfully: sleep, academics, and a social life, college is certainly a memorable worthwhile experience. On the one hand during those four years, students can live a semi-carefree lifestyle with minimal worries and boundaries. On the other hand, after graduation, graduates face the harsh realities of the “adult world.” Not readily obtaining your dream career, paying bills, and paying off loans are a few of the downfalls of life after college. Many students have high hopes for their post-graduation life, and many find that these expectations are difficult to fulfill. In turn, a significant amount of students find themselves depressed after graduation.

                Post college depression can often leave people feeling lonely and confused. Without having your friend group always by your side and the constant words of encouragement from your advisors and professors, people may feel that they don’t know what to do with their life nor do they have the drive to take the next step. For most this next step can be looking for an apartment or finding a stable job. Graduates who put off graduate school for a year may end up pushing off applying to school for years at a time. Ultimately, the lack of ambition and failure to achieve one’s immediate goals leaves graduates feeling useless and saddened. Additionally, addiction is a common symptom of post college depression. The longing to relive thrilling party nights often taunts graduates who have not yet solidified their life plans.

                The transition from college life to adulthood is one that can be controversial for many graduates; however the psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling can help you transition smoothly. Contact our Bergen County, NJ or Manhattan offices respectively at (201)-368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment. Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Written by: Alexis F.

Sexual Aversion Disorder (Continued): What are the Causes?

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If you feel that your sex life is being avoided due to feelings of fear or disgust, you are not alone. A disorder known as sexual aversion disorder can be the reason you are feeling this way. The most common causes of this disorder are interpersonal problems and traumatic experiences. For interpersonal problems, people usually avoid sexual engagement with a specific partner due to underlying tension or discontent with the relationship they are in. These problems can include discovery of marital infidelity, domestic abuse, partner’s lack of hygiene, or major disagreements over topics such as children or money. The key to determining if sexual aversion disorder is due to interpersonal problems is whether someone with the disorder had previously enjoyed sexual engagement with their partner.

Traumatic experiences are also found to be the cause of sexual aversion disorder, but tend to be displayed in a more generalized way. Traumatic experiences can include incest, rape, molestation, or other forms of sexual abuse. In order to dissociate or forget about these painful memories, people suffering from sexual aversion disorder will distance themselves from any and all sexual interactions. This can also be viewed as a preventative measure for people suffering from the disorder, in order to avoid any future possibilities of sexual assault. More generalized sexual aversion disorder can also be due to religious or cultural teachings that look down upon sexual activity, and lead people to associate sex with excessive feelings of guilt. To learn more about sexual aversion disorder’s classifications, symptoms, diagnosis, and treatments please continue to follow our blog posts at CounselingRx.com Arista Psychological & Psychiatric Services.

If you believe that you or a loved one has or may have sexual aversion disorder, the psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling can help you. Contact our Bergen County, NJ or Manhattan offices respectively at (201)-368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment.

Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com  for more information.

Sources: http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Sexual-aversion-disorder.html

By: Margalit I. Herzfeld

 

Emotional Abuse: The 10 Common Signs

sibling-abuse[1]

When a person is being emotionally abused in a relationship, it is not always easy to tell. In some ways emotional abuse can be more devastating than physical abuse due to the victims’ tendency to blame him or herself. In an emotionally abusive relationship, the abuser systematically controls their partner by undermining their confidence, worthiness, growth, trust, or emotions by provoking feelings of fear, shame, or humiliation. There are 10 primary signs that distinguish an emotionally abusive relationship which are as follows:

  1. You feel as if you are walking on eggshells around your partner
    • You never know how your partner will react, so you have to be careful with anything you do or say
  2. Arguments tend to escalate quickly and have no end point
  3. There are intense moments of feeling good about the relationship, when your partner makes overly sincere apologies or attempts to make up for bad behavior.
    • The victim clings to hope for the relationship when these moments occur
  4. Your partner will let his/her anger out at you for something that is no fault of yours
  5. Your partner is possessive and jealous, and will speak badly about your friends—especially the ones who are of the opposite sex
    • Your partner tries to isolate you from friends and family.
  6. Your partner cripples your self-esteem through humiliation about anything you try to do or accomplish
  7. Your partner has a two-faced personality
    • Your partner’s personality confuses you by alternating between acting very caring and loving, and/or very hurtful and mean.
  8. Your partner emotionally manipulates you into sexual activities that you do not like.
  9. Your partner will bring up past mistakes as a reminder of all that you have done wrong in the relationship
  10. Your achievements are minimized, while his/her achievements are glorified

If you believe that you or a loved one is in an emotionally abusive relationship, the psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners or psychotherapists at Arista Counseling can help you. Contact our Bergen County, NJ or Manhattan offices respectively at (201)-368-3700 or (212)-722-1920 to set up an appointment.

Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201302/emotional-abuse

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/20/signs-of-emotional-abuse/

http://www.beliefnet.com/Wellness/Galleries/9-Signs-You-Are-in-an-Emotionally-Abusive-Relationship.aspx

By: Margalit I. Herzfeld