Maybe It May Be

By: Dariana Taveras

Is it indecision or obsessive doubting?

Should we have sent that text because we really wanted to make things right… or should we have waited for that individual to be the bigger person and apologize? Should we have wasted 45 minutes mindlessly scrolling through our News Feed, liking every picture and sharing that relevant blog post or… should we have gone to the gym instead? Should we search for a new job opportunity? Should we have saved some more money each week to someday buy the home of our dreams or should we continue to foolishly spend our money at the local bar? Should we apply to our dream university or perhaps chose a different career path? Should we have married our spouse or should we have waited for a better partner? Time and time again, the answer seems to be maybe. Maybe we should do this… or maybe we should have done that.

Occasionally, uncertainty revolves around the choices we make. We yearn to know what is coming next, leaving the unexpected quite unwelcome. We seem to have an overarching desire to know that the results we hope for will take effect.  In turn, we often tend to associate uncertainty with fear and hopelessness. We quickly begin to dread the unanticipated instead of embracing the potentially positive opportunities that may arise. Instead of merely being a matter of indecision, it may quickly turn out to be a form of obsessive doubting.

It is important to remember that within the unknown there may be an incredibly rich sea of options that allows a freedom of choices beyond our immediate recognition. The idea of “maybe” suggests that every single experience and situation may render endless possibilities. It is also possible that whatever circumstance we face will work out in our favor or bring new solutions. The key is to expand our minds so that we may truly embrace all that is or may be.

If you are concerned that you or anyone you care about may feel conflicted or riddled with indecisiveness or obsessive doubting, the licensed professionals at Arista Counseling&Psychotherapy can assist you.  Contact our Bergen County, NJ or Manhattan offices of psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment.  Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

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Relationships-Dating-Commitment: Missing the Game While Playing the Field

By: Dariana Taveras

How Your Dating Behavior May Be a Sign of Commitment Issues

Heart and kissy-face Emojis are mindlessly sent and delivered to several potential romantic interests through text messages. Regardless of who they are sent to, there is only one reply that you are really hoping for. It is from the person that you are attracted to far beyond their physical attributes. It is the individual whose face immediately brightens your day through an inviting glance. It is the one who has the charming laugh that replays most beautifully in your thoughts. It is the person who is able to solace your silence with comfort, somehow understanding your lack of self-disclosure.

In an ideal world, you would be with them. The only problem is…you cannot. But why?

Your dating behavior may be hurting your potential to find a long-term relationship due to any of the following personal commitment issues:

  • Struggling with being open about your emotions
  • Not knowing how to effectively verbalize your feelings to others
  • Experiencing fears about ending up emotionally hurt
  • Low feelings of self-worth or low self-esteem
  • Lack of self-confidence
  • Not wanting to be restricted by being in a monogamous relationship

Romantic relationships are not an easy feat. If you or anyone you care about may be struggling with commitment issues or if you are currently in a relationship that is lacking commitment, the licensed professionals at Arista Counseling&Psychotherapy can assist you.  Contact our Bergen County, NJ or Manhattan offices of psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment.  Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

How Heavy is Your Emotional Baggage?

By: Dariana Taveras

4 Steps to Help You Unload Damaging Feelings

If we were to unload our baggage, what would we find? Yes, we may find toiletries, pre-coordinated outfits, a pair of trendy sunglasses, a few pairs of shoes, and maybe even some jewelry to match… But, what about the nonmaterial items we stuff beneath the surface of our belongings?

For instance, some of us carry the weight of missed birthdays, unreturned phone calls, lost friendships, failed relationships, or even missed opportunities because of procrastination. Others carry challenges passed over because of low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. We may carry regrets that prevent us from moving forward with our lives. There may be nostalgia about particular broken friendships with people we have known for years on end. We go back and forth trying to figure out how to most effectively make sense of relationships, responsibilities, expectations, resentments, and frustration that exist day to day. Before we know it, we slip further and further down a slope of suffering until our hearts are heavy with sorrow and our minds are cluttered with distress. Often times we do not realize how quickly this may escalate and hinder our ability to find happiness.

If you feel affected by a heavy load of unresolved feelings and emotions, it may be helpful to consider the following:

1. Tune into what triggers you to hold on to your distress. This requires self-reflection and insight that will help you move towards identifying the source of your problems!

2. Once the source has been identified, take small steps to move forward towards something more beneficial and personally purposeful.

3. Do not allow the triggers of your emotional turmoil to influence the way you view the world. Change the way you view your circumstances into more proactive and positive perceptions.

4. Be patient with your endeavors. Things do not magically transform overnight. The best things in life take time!

If you are concerned that you or anyone you care about may be negatively affected by stress or anxiety, the licensed professionals at Arista Counseling&Psychotherapy can assist you.  Contact our Bergen County, NJ or Manhattan offices of psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment.  Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

New Year’s Resolution or Dissolution

By: Dariana Taveras

The clock was ticking as billions across the globe anxiously anticipated the magical strike signaling a new year filled with endless opportunities. Friends, families, acquaintances, lovers, and partners alike gathered around to warmly welcome 2015 with remarkable hopes, aspirations, and goals to be achieved. The New Year provides a clean slate of novel opportunities that reflect a potential for change that may foster personal growth and a perceived sense of stability. In other words, everyone’s favorite phrase has returned…..”I made a New Year’s Resolution.”

Typically, individuals speak of yearning for weight loss, a grander bank account, a lasting relationship, career success, and even happiness. Although January 1st can serve as the propeller of motivation and conviction, some individuals find it increasingly difficult to accomplish their goals. Perhaps explanations for this may be setting unrealistic goals for oneself, lack of faith in one’s abilities, becoming discouraged due to failure, a lack of focus, or even simply hoping for change instead of taking action. All of these explanations may certainly cause heavy distress and feelings of guilt, remorse, sadness, or anxiety.

Consequently, it may be incredibly beneficial to take these easy steps to ensure that your New Year’s Resolution does not fall short of your wishes.

  1. Believe that you can achieve
    your goal.
  2. Strive for goals that are meaningful to you and which are attainable based on your skills, talents, education, and experience.
  3. Celebrate your small steps forward instead of immediately bashing any mishaps.
  4. Appreciate your achievements one day at a time. Be patient. Success takes time.
  5. Be proactive, have a plan, do not procrastinate!

If you are concerned that you or anyone you care about may need someone to compassionately listen to your concerns, the licensed professionals at Arista Counseling&Psychotherapy can assist you.  Contact our Bergen County, NJ or Manhattan offices of psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to set up an appointment.  Visit http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.