Marriage Counseling – Love vs. Infatuation – Bergen County NJ

By: Davine Holness

Marriage: Knowing the difference between love and infatuation can help forge a healthy relationship

Marriage: Knowing the difference between love and infatuation can help forge a healthy relationship

One of the most beautiful feelings of the human experience is being in love.   However, many relationships have ended because people discovered that what they had thought was love was in fact merely its deceptive cousin: infatuation.  In any relationship, it’s important to know where you stand, and in amorous relationships this means finding out whether you’re truly in love or just infatuated with the other person.  While most people are infatuated with their love partners to an extent, it is important to understand which of the two forces is the basis of the relationship.  This knowledge can help you make wise decisions about commitments, and give you a better understanding of yourself and your partner.  Understanding the difference between love and infatuation will lead to a healthier, happier love life.

 

Infatuation is static: it is the passionate feeling when someone else is all you can think about.  It is when you are attracted to the person, and your priorities are built around them, but there is no shared growth or development.  When a relationship is based on infatuation, there is often little trust, loyalty, and commitment – the relationship isn’t a mutual give-and-take.  The key feature of infatuation is an unrealistic idea of who the other person is, and what the relationship will provide for your life.

 

Love, on the other hand is a dynamic process that involves shared emotion, trust and growth.  It’s constant consideration for the other person that leads to joint planning and decision making.   The important thing is knowing who the person really is, knowing that the relationship won’t be perfect, and loving them anyway. The relationship evolves as the individuals mature and needs change; the two parties work together in building a shared future.  Love is strong enough to outlast the ups and downs of life.

 

So how can you go about differentiating between love and infatuation?  Asking yourself the following questions can help you figure it out:

 

  • Are you truly happy?  Are you treated as a person of value?
  • Is there hope for a shared future?  Are the two of you thinking and planning as a couple rather than separately?
  • Is your life better because of your partner?
  • Are you foregoing your dreams for your partner, or are you restructuring your dreams to fit each other?
  • Does your partner’s mother know about you?
  • Most importantly: does the relationship bring out the best in each of you?

 

Telling the difference between true love and infatuation is not easy.  If you are working through this or other relationship/marriage issues, the Bergen County, New Jersey or Manhattan offices of Arista Counseling and Psychiatric Services can help.  Call us to arrange an appointment with one of our marriage counselors, psychotherapists, psychologists and psychiatrists.

 

Arista Counseling: (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920

Visit our website for more info: http://www.acenterfortherapy.com/

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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – Bergen County NJ

PTSD symbol design isolated on white background. Anxiety disorder symbol design

By: Michelle Dierna

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental disorder that follows experiencing or witnessing an extremely traumatic, life threatening event. Examples include; kidnapping, serious car accidents, natural disasters, violent attacks such as a mugging, rape, torture, being held captive, terrorist attacks, sudden death of a loved one, childhood neglect and sexual or physical abuse. People with PTSD usually have persistent startling thoughts and memories of the event that occurred then become emotionally withdrawn, especially with people they were once close to. PSTD was first seen in war veterans; however, it is not just a result of war. It can occur after any traumatic incident. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur in those who personally experience a disaster, witness it, or those who pick up the pieces later, including emergency workers and law enforcement officers. Certain events can lead to” trigger” thoughts that are linked to something that threatened the person’s life or the life of someone close to him or her.  Alternatively, it could be something observed, such as mass ruin after a car crash that can set off these” psychological triggers”. Most people associate PTSD with soldiers who have witnessed the death of friends (other soldiers) bombings and military combat while battling against the enemy. However, any overwhelming life experience can trigger PTSD, a disease which makes life very hard for the person suffering and their loved ones.

Thus, if you feel you are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and are constantly re-living the trauma through troubling memories during the day or nightmares that wake you up, it is important to get help. Usually, there is no way to tell whether a person suffering from PSTD will continue to experience these nightmares and reoccurring thoughts or whether the symptoms will eventually go away. The severity of the trauma and the sensitivity of the situation can influence the severity of the symptoms.

  • People diagnosed with PTSD usually have similar symptoms such as: sleeping difficulties, depression, feeling isolated or numb, and being easily startled /Paranoia. Some other behaviors that are noted in PTSD patients are loss of interest in things they used to enjoy, and having trouble feeling affectionate, warm and loving, instead, feeling short-tempered, more hostile and aggressive than before; or even violent. Seeing things that remind them of a particular incident that may be very distressing, which could lead to avoidance of certain places or situations that bring back frightening memories. As with any tragic event, the date of the incident is usually significant. Thus, anniversaries of the incident are usually very hard for someone suffering from PTSD.

PTSD manifests differently from person to person. While the symptoms of PTSD most commonly develop in the hours or days following the traumatic event, sometimes PTSD symptoms can take weeks, months, or even years to appear. Post-traumatic stress disorder can leave many feeling helpless confused and very depressed. It can cause strong behavioral changes that can disrupt your present life and the life you were nurturing before the incident occurred. Symptoms of PTSD can slowly start to control your present life strongly in a negative way if you don’t develop proper ways to cope.

If you or a loved one or one is experiencing any type of Post-Traumatic Stress symptoms, it may be beneficial to contact a mental health professional and receive therapy for your symptoms. If you are in Bergen County, New Jersey area or Manhattan, feel free to call our office to make an appointment with one of our own therapists, counselors, psychologists or psychiatrists.

Arista Counseling and Psychiatric Services (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920

More detailed information can be found at http://www.acenterfortherapy.com

Source:

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).”: Symptoms, Treatment and Self-Help. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 May2014.helpguide.org/mental/post_traumatic_stress_disorder_symptoms_treatment.html.

 

 

Memory: Mental exercises improve memory for seniors

By: Davine Holness

Memory becomes increasingly difficult with age

Memory becomes increasingly difficult with age

As people age, one of the most salient changes is difficulties in memory.  The older people get, the longer it takes for them to commit information to memory or recall it later.  This can be anything from a minor inconvenience to a huge challenge that threatens one’s independence.  Fortunately, a recent UCLA study has found that a brain training program they developed led to significant improvements in word recognition and recall.  The results provide encouraging evidence that the effects of age on memory can be slowed.

 

The experiment consisted of a six-week program, during which residents in senior-living communities participated in twelve separate sessions.  This program went beyond what traditional cognitive training programs offer: in addition to memory-training, the program provided education on everyday habits that might affect brain function.  The memory training included strategies for memorization as well as training on mental tools that aid memory (such as linking ideas and creating mental images).  At the end of the program, the senior citizens who had involved showed improved memory as compared with other residents of the communities who did not participate.  The promising results provide hope for treatments of memory-related concerns, and show that it’s never too late to improve your skills and enhance your life.

 

If you are coping with the aging or memory problems of yourself or a loved one, feel free to contact the Bergen County, New Jersey or Manhattan offices of psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists.

Arista Counseling and Psychiatric Services (201) 368-3700, (212) 722-1920

More detailed information can be found at http://www.acenterfortherapy.com

 

Source:

Nauert, R. (2011). Brain Fitness Training Improves Memory in Seniors.Psych Central. Retrieved on June 6, 2014

LGBT: Gender Identity Issues More Common Amongst Kids with ADHD or Autism

By: Davine Holness

LGBT: Gender variance is correlated with certain neurodevelopmental disorders

LGBT: Gender variance is correlated with certain neurodevelopmental disorders

A new study has found an unexpected correlation: children who have attention deficit and hyperactivity problems, as well as children with autism spectrum disorders, are more likely than their peers to experience gender variance. Gender variance is the wish to be another gender. Researcher John Strang found gender variance to be 7.59 times more common in children with autism spectrum disorders when compared with kids that had no neurodevelopmental disorder. Additionally, children with ADHD were 6.64 times more likely to wish to be another gender than the control group in this study.
While the study did not provide the reasons for the observed correlation, Strang has proposed a number of possible explanations. His theories are based on reasons why children with these mental disorders who have certain traits would be more likely to identify these traits as gender identity issues and mention them.  In the case of ADHD, the disorder is characterized by difficulties with impulse control. Thus, children with this disorder may be less likely than their peers to respond to pressures against cross-gender expression by restraining their gender impulses. With autism, the correlation may occur because these children are less aware of social norms that frown upon expressions of gender variance, so they would feel less compelled to hide their desires to be the other gender than their neurotypical peers. Additionally, children with autism spectrum disorders often have rigid thinking, seeing everything as either black or white. They may therefore be more likely to interpret mild or moderate gender nonconforming tendencies as definite gender variance.

If you or your child is struggling with gender identity issues, ADHD, or an autism spectrum disorder, talking to a mental health professional may be of great help. Feel free to contact Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy at (201) 368-3700or (212) 722-1920 for more information and/or to set up an appointment.

More detailed information can be found at http://www.acenterfortherapy.com

 

Source:

Wood, J. (2013, March 14). » Kids With ADHD, Autism More Likely to Have Gender Identity Issues – Psych Central News. Psych Central.com. Retrieved May 28, 2014

Anxiety and Communication-How to prepare for a difficult conversation- Bergen County, NJ

By: Michelle Dierna

art of communication pic

Communicating can be very difficult when you are preparing to have a difficult conversation with an individual or group of people who you know most likely will have mixed reactions and emotions regarding the subject. Most People find it easier to avoid communicating something that they think is going to be controversial or unpleasant, which results in halting the communication and letting the situation linger. It’s usually embedded in people to avoid confrontation conflict and stressful situations.

“Learning how to have difficult conversations at work or in personal relationship’s boosts one’s confidence, increases one’s self-awareness, and gives one the sense of being in control of one’s own life. What stops us from having that difficult conversation we should have?”

Fear is usually what stops a person from confronting a difficult situation.  Fear can arise when facing a difficult conversation because you may be afraid that you will hurt someone’s feelings, fear losing people you love, or fear of incurring in those we love or want to impress, “we fear the consequences of engaging in a difficult conversation”.

 Some tips on preparing for a difficult conversation:

  • Don’t delay the conversation any longer and provide reasons for why it needs to happen: Delaying conversations just makes the situation more dramatic and can even lead to failing to ever resolve the conflict. Being honest and confronting the person/ group and giving them a reason to see why you would like to discuss the issue, this will optimistically lead to a respectful conversation between both parties.
  • Stay connected when communicating and encourage Questions: Each of us communicates in different ways; staying open-minded when communicating with the person or group and encouraging questions by the other person, may help the flow of communication and help to get a better understanding of how the individual or group feels about the subject at hand. It will encourage them to share their perspective. Do not focus the whole conversation on yourself; you should be interested in the other person’s opinions too. It is healthy to express your feelings but this is about you conversing back and forth, not one way.
  • Resist making fast assumptions; Think before speaking right away: Listen to the other person and assess the situation fairly. Many people have a hard time seeing things from the other person’s point of view. Before making assumptions about the situation, listen to the individual/group and then arrive at a conclusion because it could be that the situations that lead to the conversation was just a misunderstanding. Hopefully this will result in figuring out a solution to the situation/conversation or coming to a mutual agreement about what the future holds after the discussion.
  • Don’t Rehearse: Be genuine; if you are not you should not expect a sincere response. If you want to confront a situation that is bothering you, explain exactly how you feel honestly without sounding like your reading off a projector screen. Correct communication is the key to opening up new ways of approaching tough topics.

 If you are struggling with communication issues, problems confronting a difficult situation that may concern you or anxiety, feel free to contact our Bergen County, New Jersey or Manhattan offices of psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists for an evaluation.

Arista Counseling and Psychiatric Services (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920

More detailed information can be found at http://www.acenterfortherapy.com

 

Sources:

1.”Tips on Having Difficult Conversations.” Harvard Business Review. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 May 2014. hbr.org/web/management-tip/tips-on-having-difficult-conversations

2. Aldo.Civico.Ph.D.“How to have difficult conversations”.psychologytoday/blog/turning-point/201405/how-have-difficult-conversations

Self Esteem: The Media’s Influence

By Kimberly Made

self esteemWith the way women are constantly being bombarded with expectations of how we should act and what we should look like, it’s no surprise how many suffer with problems of low self esteem. Body dissatisfaction is one of the biggest predictors of eating disorders and can go on to cause depression and anxiety. It’s as if mass media is working overtime to try to make us feel bad about ourselves. Cosmetic companies are always telling us what we should think is beautiful and that we need their products to be able to achieve it. Over time, we subconsciously begin accepting these ideas and start questioning whether or not we are good enough the way we are. We then buy into their gimmicks to get us to spend our money on their products and in turn, find our self esteem dwindling.

Portrayals of women in the media set unrealistic standards of both appearance and behavior. The more attention we pay to media messages, the more likely we are to experience self-esteem disorders. We need to stop and think about why we want to be a certain way. Is it really what we want or were we conditioned to believe that this is what we should want? We must take time to find what it is that makes us valuable. That way, we won’t need to look to the media for what they define beauty as.

If you or anyone you know suffers from self esteem issues or eating disorders, there is help. It may be beneficial to contact a mental health professional and receive therapy for eating disorders. If you are in Manhattan, New York, feel free to call us at 212-722-1920 and if you are in Bergen County, New Jersey call us at the Paramus location, 201-368-3700 to make an appointment with one of our own therapists, counselors, psychologists or psychiatrists.

Arista Counseling and Psychiatric ServicesContact the Bergen County, New Jersey or Manhattan offices at 201-368-3700 or 212-722-1920. Visit www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Anger Management: Can Keeping the Peace Keep You Alive?

Research on the effects of arguments on health

By: Davine Holness

Anger management: Argumentativeness may increase your risk of health problems

Anger management: Argumentativeness may increase your risk of health problems

While arguments can be hard to avoid, most of us know how damaging they can be to relationships.  But a new study published in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health reveals that frequent expressions of anger and verbal altercations may be just as damaging for physical health.  The research was conducted by a team at the University of Copenhagen and kept track of 9,875 participants from 2000 to 2011.  The results were shocking: the participants who had initially reported that they had anger issues and often argued with people in their social circle were at least twice as likely to have died by the end of the eleven-year period during which the study was conducted.  This correlation might be because people with conflict-ridden families might be more reluctant to seek treatment for medical, psychological and psychiatric concerns.  Another posited explanation for the increased risk of death is that stress from frequent clashes with friends and family increases one’s chances of getting certain ailments such as hypertension, high levels of cortisol, inflammation, and angina.

What’s causing all this conflict?  The reasons may vary from person to person, but there are some common ways of thinking that cause arguments and verbal expressions of anger.  One of these is emotional insistence on something that’s highly unlikely to occur.  Such insistence happens when we try to change that over which we have no control; when we won’t budge, an argument is bound to ensue.  Another factor is stubbornness: we often over-value being right.  Rather than admit to others – and to ourselves – that we have made a mistake, we put more energy into proving our point and conflict escalates.  A similar issue is blaming others: attributing the fault for our own problems on other people or circumstances.  This does not leave room for resolution.

If arguments are causing problems in your life, therapy may help.  Feel free to contact the Bergen County, New Jersey or Manhattan offices of Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920.  Visit www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

 

Source:

Bundrant, M. (n.d.). » Common Form of Expression Doubles Risk of Death – NLP Discoveries. Psych Central. Retrieved May 30, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2014/05

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy-How to Transform Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts!- Bergen County, NJ

By: Michelle Dierna

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”

-William James

 Life can consists of day to day challenges that most people can’t control. However, one thing we can control is how to adjust and alter our mind. While reading this one might think; well how am I supposed to adjust my mind to think positively, when I can’t control the negative feelings that come first? Some might say well, I don’t have this issue I wake up and I feel grateful and look forward to the day and tasks ahead. The people who positivethoughtswake up with negative thoughts tend to try and justify them, from observation. For example; “It’s raining today so it’s going to be horrible day at work” or “my mom said I was not allowed to use the internet all day today because I am being punished, so today is going to be the worst day ever at school!”. When negative thoughts control someone’s mind to this extent the individual automatically unconsciously starts their day with a negative attitude. They already have pre-conceived notions on of how their day is going to play out. This negative attitude may be caused by anxiety, depression, family issues, stress, and external factors.

A significant, thought to keep in mind is; not everything in life is black and white. Thus, “all or nothing” approaches are detrimental to our mental health. “Well if lose my job I will lose everything, it will be so hard to find another job and it’s not fair” – this correlates with negative thinking. Hypothetically inserting the “grey” in this context; is almost like a silver lining when it comes to positive thoughts. This could lead to potentially giving anyone a new outlook on the options they actually have and can control. Thus, change negative thinking into positive thinking. Life is ever changing; therefore, to lead an emotionally healthy life we need to have balanced emotions, even when life takes us on emotional roller coaster rides when we least expect it.

There are a few tips on how to switch negative thinking to positive thinking; No one is alone! When you change negative thoughts to positive thoughts it can lead to a more fulfilling life and a more positive perspective on your lifestyle, which hopefully leads to lifestyle changes. Here are some words of advice to change the” black and white” mentality and dive into the grey areas! It will help you have a more positive way of facing issues on a daily basis; which reduces the negative thoughts and produces positive thoughts.

Some tips:

* Try not to use words such as always, never, impossible, flawless and dreadful because all these words leave no room for flexibility. Words that have more room for explanation lead to balance.

 Some examples of negative thinking turned around:

• “I can be an intelligent person and still do something stupid.”

• “There are parts of my life I enjoy and there are parts of my life that create stress.”

• “My children bring me joy and they sometimes drive me crazy.”

• “I can love my wife, and still be angry with her sometimes.”

*“The most important word in each sentence is and. The word and suggests a balance, it paints a shade of gray in our lives.”

It is important to realize when negative/toxic thoughts come into your mind and have the ability to be aware and dive into those grey areas and change the thought patterns; before they ruin your day, week and months! Stay open- minded and explore the other options your mind can dwell on, this is what will enhance your overall mental health. Always look for the positive, sometimes it will be hard to find but the silver lining but it is there. Mind over matter!

If negative thoughts are controlling your life, therapy may help.  Feel free to contact the Bergen County, New Jersey or Manhattan offices of Arista Counseling & Psychotherapy at (201) 368-3700or (212) 722-1920.  Visit www.acentertherapy.com for more information.

Sources:

1. Blackwill, Alex. “10 Steps for Transforming Negative Thoughts into Positive Beliefs.” The BridgeMaker 10 Steps for Transforming Negative Thoughts into Positive Beliefs Comments. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Nov. 2008.thebridgemaker.com/10-steps-for-transforming-negative-thoughts-into-positive-beliefs/

2. Bundrant, M. (2014). How I Turned My Miserable Life Around. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 16, 2014. blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2014/05/how-i-turned-my-miserable-life-around/

Everyone’s a Critic: Five Ways to Handle Criticism and Self-Esteem

By: Davine Holness

Self esteem: What can you do to deal with criticism?

Self esteem: What can you do to deal with criticism?

While criticism can sometimes get out of hand, a lot of the time it is a necessary part of daily communication.  In cases where the criticism is constructive, objective feedback, or where we want to continue a relationship with the unwaveringly critical person, our only choice is to learn how to handle criticism.  Putting up with critiques can be quite an unpleasant experience, but here are five tips for learning how to internalize the good parts of being criticized, and let the bad parts roll off your shoulders.

  1. Don’t respond by returning the favor.  It can be tempting – almost a reflex – to respond to criticism with more criticism, but this will likely propagate the conflict leading to further offense.
  2. Do not look at the criticism through the lens of your insecurities.  If we project our own doubts, guilt, and self-criticism onto what others say to us, we interpret the criticism more harshly (or even see criticism when none is actually there)
  3. Try to understand why the person is critical.  If the criticism is unwarranted, it may be the result of the other person’s own insecurities or jealousy.  If this is the case, you know not to take their words personally.
  4. Find out if what they’re saying is true.  Assess whether you could truly improve on the topic of criticism, and try to learn from the situation.
  5. Use constructive methods for solving destructive criticism.  Know the difference between helpful and harmful criticism by looking at the situation objectively.

If you are – or are dealing with – an overly critical person, you may find therapy helpful.  Feel free to contact the Bergen County, New Jersey or Manhattan offices of Arista Counseling and Psychotherapy at (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920 to get more information or make an appointment with a psychologis, psychotherapist, counselor or psychiatrist.  Visit www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Source:

Krauss, S. (2014, May 24). A 5-Step Survival Guide to Handling Criticism.Psychology Today. Retrieved May 30, 2014

Relationships- Abusive Relationships- Bergen County, NJ

By: Michelle Dierna

pic45

Abusive Relationships take many shapes and forms. The most commonly known forms of abuse are verbal and physical but there are other kinds as well. In romantically abusive relationships, usually the abuser yearns to have a sense of control and power in the relationship. Many abusers have similar behavior patterns and characteristic traits that can be recognized as “red flags”. It is highly important to recognize the “red flags” if you feel you might be in an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships, no matter what form, can be extremely harmful to a person’s self-esteem, often causing one to question one’s sense of identity. There is also the strong overlapping issue of someone constantly trying to control a  victims thoughts and actions. This results in the abuser punishing the victim are verbally and/or physically abusive.

Some abusers share these traits:

  • Charismatic & Charming: It may shock some, but many abuser can at first, come across as very charming and charismatic, both widely attractive features. The abuser usually projects himself/herself as the ideal mate, courting the other individual by showering them with compliments, admiration, even with sentimental gifts. All of these “charming” approaches are smothered onto the person the abuser is trying to court. This can lure any person into starting a romantic relationship if they feel these signs of affection are authentic.
  • Manipulative and Controlling: Most abusers use the skills of manipulation and control. Both are innate characteristic traits of abusers. This may possibly be due to the fact that the abuser has often been the victim of abuse. People that have abusive tendencies, usually learned by seeing, hearing or experiencing abuse in their past. This might help us understand certain behaviors of abusers, but absolutely does not excuse it. These behaviors can potentially become dangerous.

Usually a person who is manipulative will control the more “submissive” individual by observing and taking advantage of “weak” and “vulnerable” areas of the other person. For example: ” Your dad left you because you have extreme anger issues and now I have to deal with it, because no one else will”. This is the point when power fuels the dynamic of the relationship into an unhealthy relationship. One person in the relationship obtains more authority which makes them believe they can set the boundaries and place rules as to what is right and wrong in the relationship.  This bias is usually towards themselves. The victim of a master manipulator will either detect these behaviors at first and leave the toxic situation or give the abuser exactly the reaction he/she wants, by giving the abuser the satisfaction of having control.

  • Narcissistic: In simple terms, the whole world revolves around a narcissistic person He or she is typically self-absorbed. It is hard to develop meaningful communication with a narcissistic person because the conversations are usually about his or her own feelings and his or her views and his or her interests. Someone who is narcissistic finds it hard entertain opinions other than their own. Thus, they tend to be more close minded than most people.
  • Jealous and Aggressive: Many people in abusive relationships don’t realize the abuse; they grow scared or become comfortable in the cycle of abuse, feeling unworthy of their significant other. Jealousy is yet another way for the abuser to take control away from their significant other. Victims will get scrutinized over actions that may cause their partner-the abuser to feel jealous. People in healthy relationships fight and argue too, but abusive/ unhealthy relationships can be filled with words of discouragement and false accusations. What healthy relationships find petty, unhealthy relationships magnify. Insecurity plays a huge part in jealousy by abusers: if the abuser feels that he or she is losing authority and control over their partner they can escalate any situation fast. When the abuser has this feeling of entitlement, most likely because of narcissistic tendencies, it is not uncommon for jealousy to turn into rage that can lead to aggressive physical abuse.

Once a person touches you against your will or even threatens to, don’t ever take it lightly. If you are scared to leave your significant other, call a friend, a therapist or the police and discuss what happened immediately. Keep in mind that verbal abuse is no better than physical abuse; they both can intertwine quickly and the outcome could potentially be terrible. Thus, ask a few questions to yourself if you are unsure if you are in an abusive relationship and make sure to seek help as soon as possible.

*Some questions you can ask yourself:

 1.  Do you feel nervous or anxious around your partner?

2.  Does he/she criticize and embarrass you in front of others?

3.  Are you afraid of having a different opinion from that of your partner and voicing it?

4.  Does your partner exhibit jealousy and accuse you of cheating or having an affair?

5.  Does he or she threaten to hit you or harm you in any way?

6. Are you constantly criticized and made to feel that you cant live without your significant other?

Relationships can be extremely complex at time.  Many woman and men stay in abusive relationships because they may feel that staying is their only choice. They may feel controlled by their significant other and scared to leave because of what their significant other might do if they leave. If this is you, get help immediately.

If you or a loved one think you might be in an abusive relationship,or feel you may be suffering from any form of abuse; feel free to contact our Manhattan or Bergen County, New Jersey offices to make an appointment with one of our own therapists, counselors, psychologists or psychiatrists for guidance needed or an evaluation.

Arista Counseling and Psychiatric Services (201) 368-3700 or (212) 722-1920

Visit: http://www.acenterfortherapy.com for more information.

Sources:

1.”The Christian Broadcasting Network.” 12 Traits of an Abuser. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 May 2014. .cbn.com/family/marriage/petherbridge_abusertraits.aspx.

2.”The Christian Broadcasting Network.” 12 Traits of an Abuser. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 May 2014. .cbn.com/family/marriage/petherbridge_abusertraits.aspx.